I love my man but we are at a funny stage what shud i do?

Question

weve been together 4 yrs hes took my 2 boys on hes great like that but I just feel were on different pages at the mo we can t live with or without eachother the problem is I have not a lot going on with my life workwiseetc I suffer depression and he dosent understand I still wnt him here but we are at a stalemate situation by the way hes younger than me but We both feel a strong strong connection with eachother too strong to split ! Id love the old feeling bak we used to have

Answer 1

Yeah, depression is a tough problem to throw into a relationship. I have it too. My husband doesn't really understand why he can't make me happy, although a hug would help. If you're not seeing a counceler or on meds maybe you could give that a try. You need to find yourself and keep this wonderful guy.

Answer 2

You have to realize that he is just a human being and might not understand that when you love each other why don't you want to be together. If as you say you share a strong connection don't give up.
Even if work wise things aren't so good, why not try some social service kind of thing. Or you can spend some time doing things that you like, reading, museum, anything, it will be like a booster shot in your life.
Good Luck.

Answer 3

You will never get anywhere chasing old feelings. being depressed will play a big roll in how you feel about your love one. if you are not emotionally sound you may not need to bring someone else into that type of situation. My x bf broke up with me because of his depression I can see why he did that now but it was so hard when it first happened. if you dont have yourself together why would you want to be in someone elses life when you are confused about yourself. think about that! It may be time to take some time off and get back on track. if not for you but for your children

Answer 4

To get that feeling back you've just got to reach out and 'grab it'!
Why are you depressed anyway, considering you've got this great guy who 'loves' your kids.
That in itself is 'rare' these days!!!
What I see going on here is 'your' lack of commitment in a relationship.
I think you get to a certain point with men then simply just loose the interest and drive that you had to begin with.
Kinda like having a new toy to play with until you get tired of it, 'NO WONDER you get depressed!!
You need to work on 'YOU' instead of searching for other reasons why this has happened.
I know, I 'used' to be just like you, then I got tired of hurting other people and went to councelling.
Now, four years later, I am a different person and 'know' how to treat people with love and respect.
But you have to 'admit' your problem!!

Answer 5

Despite what some people would say...the ones who are not educated in medicine...keep taking your medication. Keeping a positive attitude is one thing but trying to "act" upbeat and lovey dovey is going to come of as just that -- a big act. Be as true and as real to yourself, you children, and your man as you can. With time AND medication your depression will get better along with your relationship. :)

As for sillykim, or whoever you are...you should not be advising individuals to solely change their attitudes and disregarding their meds. Depression is a serious disease which you are obviously no guru on.

Answer 6

You need to make an effort to make your marriage stronger. Your husband understands you have depression, but you need to make an effort to change your attitude instead of taking meds and thinking that things are going to get better. You can have that old spark back, just a few extra hugs, kisses and i love you's each day and he will return the gift. Make the first move!

Answer 7

its probably just one of those things. your going 2 have your easy and your hard times and think this isnt working no more. then you'll have a gret time just u and him and things will seem better. though this doesnt last and feels less than the bad times. but them good times can make up 4 it. things will get easier as we age and the children grow and we get more time 4 each other.

Answer 8

you must first get your depression under control.....! that is important. tell him go online and read up on it and symptoms..
find the real cause of your depression.
my hubby told me it was "depression", got meds.etc.....he was a totally different person for awhile.....he was actually going thru mid-life crisis......suffering because he had an affair..and the guilt was killing him! once he got it out into the open, we dealt with it, he is moving forward....depression had left..without meds now.....and i am mending. life is tough...and much too short NOT TO BE HAPPY....good luck to you both....he needs to be understanding to YOU......and help you thru this crisis.whatever it may be. if he stands by you.....then you know you can count on him in the future...if he is selfish and demanding not caring about you & your needs.....move on now and save yourself lots of pain later .

Answer 9

you need to do something about the depression. Get a good pysical check up to see if you have something like hepoglycemia perhaps, or at least get some good daily vitamins and start taking them. you can check with a health food store and there are some good things I can't recall at the moment for deression also. Good luck to you!!

Answer 10

There are only two certainties in this life - death and taxes. So said Benjamin Franklin - as a twice married man, I would offer this advice to you - follow your heart, not your head. Life is a dream - LIVE IT !