I have been seeing a married man. It was nothing serious at first, but we have since developed a romantic relationship. Before you call me a wh0re or anything, his wife left him 3 months before we even met, but she refuses to sign divorce papers and is trying her damndest to get him back. He doesn't want her though and she is making our life h3ll. We have now been together for 9 months, no plans of marrying, but just want her out of our life. How can we handle this situation?
2007-01-27 07:57:15 · 15 answers · asked by lilliana_harper 1 in Family & Relationships ➔ Marriage & Divorce
She left him and he wasn't with her when you two hooked up. You're not having an affair. Your boyfriend needs to be firm with her and go get his own lawyer and initiate the divorce.
2007-01-27 08:04:00 · answer #1 · answered by Tasha 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I would neve cal you a whore! After I left my husband I started seeing my first love from high school. He was still married. We saw each other for a year and still love each other very much, although I decided not to see hm until he is ready to make some serious decisions. As long as he is not with her keep seeing him. From what I understand they can go to court even if she doesn't want to sign the papers. As far aas her making you lives hell. Try to do everything you cn to just no deal with her. If she calls don't answer. Hsve him contact a lawyer which in turn will contact his wife. Maybe then she will get the idea that it is really over. She seems to be rying to hold on to something that is no longer there. Good luck. Ihope the two of you will be very happy together.
2007-01-27 08:06:46 · answer #2 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
I suspect you are being fed a line about this guy's wife not allowing the divorce to happen.
The following is a quote from the divorce court in Travis County, TX: "If your spouse decides that he or she wants a divorce, and you do not want to be divorced, you will not be able to stop your spouse from divorcing you. If you can convince a judge that there is a chance that you and your spouse can work things out, you may be able to get the judge to order the two of you to attend marriage counseling. But if your spouse is determined to get divorced, you will not be able to stop it."
Most jurisdictions do not require a reason other than incompatibility to get a divorce and the process usually cannot be stopped just because one of the spouses does not want the divorce. True, the divorce can be held up for a long time by the uncooperative spouse, but it can't be completely stopped. If you aren't afraid to hear the answer, call the Family Court in your county and ask if one spouse can stop a divorce.
Reconsider the reasons why you find this guy so-o-o attractive--might it be because he is unavailable or maybe forbidden fruit?
2007-01-27 08:23:43 · answer #3 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
She decided the marriage was over when she left him and she only wants him back now cause he has you...
This is common with married people they dont want the wife/husband but they dont wwant anyone else to have them...She most probably left thinking he would wait around for her but he moved on and she has to accept that..
If she is really hassiling you get a court order against her, if she phones with threats tell the police they can charge her under the telecommunications act, change your number if they have kids it will be hard as they will need to have contact for the kids sake he can arrange to see them at a family centre where she drops them off and they dont need to see each other..
As you have been together 9 months and there is no signs he does want her back you have no worries, cut all contact with her if possible... She just needs to accept its over dont worry about her not signing divorce papers after a couple of years it will go through...
Good luck
2007-01-27 15:38:44 · answer #4 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
How do you know it is not him that does not want the divorce ? Just because he is with you does not mean that he will marry you. Yes he is telling you that he just wanted her out of his life . are you sure that he is telling the truth? Maybe you should have just left him alone and let him make his own decisions about the divorce . i dont believe in being with married men . And unless there is divorce papers in hand then they are still married .You know what they used to call women like you ? Homewreckers and that is being nice about it . Oh wow 3 months that is alot of time to decide if you want a divorce huh? God some people floor me they really do .
2007-01-27 10:53:43 · answer #5 · answered by Kate T. 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I'd love to lay into you right now, but you had no business being with a married man whether he's just separated or not. You wait until the divorce is final. Stay away from him and let him figure out his things with his WIFE not ex wife and his family. It's not your decision to make about you two, you need to wait until this man is divorced. I hope you have some common sense to know that he will cheat on you, but it's also common sense not to get with a married/separated spouse. Stay away. Why do you women want a man that is already taken?
2007-01-27 08:07:06 · answer #6 · answered by SillyKimmie 4 · 0⤊ 1⤋
Go to a lawyer and file for divorce and have a judge give the judgment for the divorce. SHe might not want it but if he really wants to get rid of her, you will need a judement from a judge to maek the divorce final. ANd he treating you'll like the way she doing isn't going to help her at all.
2007-01-27 08:11:58 · answer #7 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
He's lying. All 50 states in US a judge can order a divorce without the consent of the other person. He wants to be single and thinks if he gets divorced you will want more.
2007-01-27 08:26:35 · answer #8 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
Firstly, DO NOT listen to some of the idiots on here who are telling you that you've done anything wrong, you have not. Basically, it is up to him to get rid of her, I'd suggest a restraining order if she's really causing hell. I've known people to do some really awful stuff to their ex partners, at least if it's documented, she will be charged (and rightfully so) if she goes overboard. But hopefully she'll get the message and leave it be...good luck to you!
2007-01-27 08:23:56 · answer #9 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
Why did the wife leave and are there kids involve.If the wife has a good reason to leave and if there kids involve. Everyone need to sit an talk if know one solve the problem personally I would walk.Life to short worry
2007-01-27 08:16:25 · answer #10 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
How can WE...you ask? I think you need to back out...and tell him to let you know when he has closed that chapter in his life....with a divorce.
If he really wants the divorce..... he can get it.
Thats why you never get involved with a guy that is married or separated.... The chapter needs to close first because very often they go back to the wives. Why put your emotions through it.
2007-01-27 08:12:21 · answer #11 · answered by westfield47130 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋