ladies what would you do if your fiance took u 2 work, and never came 2 pick back up, & stayed gone 3 days?

Question

my friend took off with his girls car 4 3day, left her stranded, at work, and didnt have a ride for those days!! she really loves this guy
alot but she says she just cant believe it, it happen 2 her in a past relationship so she was really hurt, she even packed his stuff and had it ready , she didnt think he was coming back home, she was so hurt that she cryed alot.. well he came back a day after x-mas, she had the right 2 let him have it but she heard him out!! well my homie wass an ex drug addict,and he says he ran into an old freind and one thing led 2 another
and he ended up relapsing, and after that
he just lost control of himself,his every thought was drug induced..all respect and consiteration was out the door.. as bad as it seems he really does love this girl but if he gets weak he turns into this dude who just dont care about any thing.. off it hes cool as f#$k caring, loving, respectful! but what should she do?? he promised he wouldnt do it again!!it his 2nd strike??huh?

Answer 1

She should tell him he needs to go into rehab and that she will support him through the program as long as he sticks with it. Since this is his 2nd strike she needs to tell him to move out of the house. She doesn't need to let him make her feel guilty with cries of " I have nowhere to go" or statements like "if you did this or that I wouldn't do drugs". It's a way for him to justify his using. She nor anyone else is to blame. He has to accept the fact that he and only he is to blame. He also has to admit he has a problem and that he needs help. She is not to let him use her car (next time he could "sell" it for drugs. She is not to give him any money or anything of value as he will use both to get the drugs. She has got to do all this and be strong about sticking with it. If she gives in he will just continue doing the drugs.

Answer 2

Oh my goodness. This must be so tough for her. I can't imagine finding someone you really love and then having to walk away because they keep relapsing into a drug habit that they have not decided to really kick once and for all. However, the thing is if she doesn't do that she could find herself in some really tough situations. here is a scenario I know of, tell you what here is two:

1. A woman was married to her husband for 4 year. He got in with the wrong crowd and started using cocaine. She kept taking him back after he had his disappearing acts. One day he disappeared for about one week. Of course he eventually came back home, however she never saw him. When she walked into her house, she knew immediately thathe had been there. You see all of the furniture was missing, including the the curtains. The only thinghe did not carry was the kitchen zink. She changed the locks that week and within another month she changed her address.

2. A young lady had a fantastic boyfriend. They were going to get married. He too startted to use drugs. He was in with a really freaky crowd. One day ame home while he was away and went to bed. She woke up with a starnge man kissing all over her. She was informed that she had been sold for hoy boyfriend's next hit.

ASK YOUR FRIEND THIS QUESTION: How much do you love this guy?

Answer 3

This is a toxic relationship. I have also witnessed this type of behavior and you cant stay with this type of person they will continue to do the same thing over and over and over and over again. He has to go into a program right now! SHe needs to leave until he is straight. I have been there many times, she is not going to help the situation she will just enable him to continue with the same pattern as long as she lets him come back after these binges. SHe needs to help him into a program and then leave. SHe is not responsible for him ,. he has to want to change and it is obvious that nobody wants to marry a drug addict. SHe can still be supportive from far away, and no sexual relations while she is gone.

Answer 4

The old adage, fool me once shame on you, fool me twice shame on me comes to mind here.

Of course love is always more complicated then we would like it to be. I think what he did is not something that should easily be forgiven, nor should it be forgotten. If he relapsed because he ran into an old friend, he should be discussing this with an addiction counseller, if he is managing his addiction himself, then this incident shows that perhaps he does need to admit he needs outside help in this.

I think some time apart would be a good idea, and if she doesnt think she will be able to trust him again then the realtionship is over, you cannot live with someone who cannot trust, even if you love them.

If she wants to try to work things out I think that he needs to show he is working on gaining & maintaining control over his life, to prove that this will not happen again. This may mean a period of seperation. To gain control means working out a game plan as to what to do when certain situations arise (like running into an old friend, finding some free drugs.....), and if possible to arrange addiction counselling. Basically the guy needs to earn his right to be trusted, and this means doing what is necessary for her to be able trust him.

Think of it this way, if an addict murders someone while under the influence they are still charged. He cannot use his addiction as an excuse for bad behaviour.

Answer 5

he needs to complete a substance abuse rehabilitation program and stay clean for 2 years at least before he is ready for a serious sexual relationship. i work in that industry, and sexual and relationship issues are so rampant-- you have to put your sex and love life on hold until you can get really healthy again.

she should dump him and go find guys that are not going to treat her like that. why should she have to stick around after the way he has treated her? if they get back together again, they will probably get into all the unhealthy patterns again and he might use that as an excuse for relapsing. i really think that this should be a clean break and the start of a new life for both of them.

Answer 6

i imagine each body , at time or yet another for diabilitly's and what ever anybody reason you listed, human beings choose what they see, or dont understand, even as they dont understand you and could poke relaxing or basically keep to them selfs and picture wow that individual truly weired can no longer replace the way human beings imagine is continuously maximum perfect to in uncomplicated words be your self do no longer attempt to delight human beings reason except they understand you they have already made up there minds how they imagine of you by potential of ways you dress, act, force, who your freinds are, the position you stay, once you've didabilties , no longer all yet maximum some human beings will stare reason the not in any respect considered some one with say one ear or no legs or disfigument or the way you talk , me now i care to a level what human beings imagine yet i do no longer allow it interfear with my existence because human beings imagine what human beings imagine, and there is understand thanks to regulate that, thats the imagine judging human beings without understanding them is extremely bias or racest and definite unfare, or there basically jellous of what you've or the way you look so automaticly they do or dont like you, and can want to laufh in case you've been broke down on the throughway for instance this what maximum all people is all about the in uncomplicated words element significant is them, and what is going round comes round, even as they advance up or stay lengthy enoff to work out that their existence is a faux or practice they usaly cant cope with the reality and disintegrate, and interior the destiny this gives you you with information from seeing and not in any respect reacting and attempting to understand without judging human beings for what ever reason, troublesome to totally answer this in decrease than one hundred pages lol tremendous question tho,

Answer 7

She should not marry him until he is clean for some time and is stable. She should definitely not put herself in these types of situations where she gets screwed. It sounds like your friend has a magnet for these types of guys.

Answer 8

She definitely needs to move on. Nobody deserves to be treated like that, especially not from a crackhead.

Answer 9

kick to curb

Answer 10

leave him find a better one