Borrowed husband's cell. Got a text, read it. Female coworker, PERSONAL TEXT! Is he cheating /preparing to?

Question

I'm not the jealous or snoop type. But after the first I checked all text & phone calls. They've been in contact, even on his/her days off! Last week he was here 3 days, I had the flu. They chatted several times from my house! He's also lied about talking to his ex wife several times & when I bust him he says he can't tell me things because "you're so jealous" BS!! I don't trust him after finding out he's hiding his "friendships" from me and lying to my face more than once. I want out but can't really afford to pay the bills alone. What can I do? Where do I go? (no family/friends)

I talked, he LIED!
I can't afford our bills here
I can't "get a job" physical issues
I'm a dog breeder, this my 3rd year I'm finally going to see a small profit.
Can't get "public housing" I have 12 dogs that are pets and my income!
Hope that answers some of your questions

Answer 1

So your husband thinks what he's doing is ok and you should of thought of it as nothing? If you have no one to turn to to help you couldn't you secretly save money to eventually leave him? It's pretty obvious he is cheating on you or preparing to. Please don't listen to that comment about how it's your fault why he's keeping it from you. I don't believe you were the snoop type all it takes it finding out something you had no intention to see and it makes a person wonder. Hell i never checked the search history on the computer until i was going through pictures on here to upload and came across some dirty ones and i got lied to about it all i asked for was the truth and getting more lies makes a person wonder even more.

Answer 2

"I talked, he LIED!
I can't afford our bills here
I can't "get a job" physical issues
I'm a dog breeder, this my 3rd year I'm finally going to see a small profit.
Can't get "public housing" I have 12 dogs that are pets and my income!"
Thanx for details. I know about not being able to afford to leave. No agency will help unless you are being abused so forget those "helpful" tid bits. Stashing money away is great if you have control of the finances but it sounds like you don't. I wouldn't give up my pets either. Have a huge divorce sale. Sell everything but clothes & family photos, momentos. Take the cash & go! He IS a liar & CHEATERS lie! Marriage is built on trust and he's proven that you can NEVER trust him. Good luck hun.

Answer 3

Your husband is probably cheating, but there is always a chance that he is innocent! Wait a while to confront him about it again. Try to find some undeniable evidence. Keep your eyes open and if you see anything suspicious, you should check it out. A private investigator might help if you can afford it, but be sure that he doesn't find out!If it turns out he is cheating, you could probably figure out a way to earn some extra money. Working two jobs might be smart, or maybe working an odd job once in a while. Even if he isn't cheating, you shouldn't stay with him if you really want out. Good luck!

Answer 4

Realize that if it's gotten to the point that you seriously suspect he's cheating, your relationship is already on thin ice.
Remember that honesty is the best policy. Talk about it. Don't try and catch him secretly. Just ask him up front. If he won't tell you the truth, then even catching him - ed won't save your relationship. Ask him to explain his whereabouts or whatever else is troubling you. Don't take a simple yes or no answer.
Remind him that you've entrusted him with your heart, and how much he means to you. Tell him how proud you are of him and your relationship - how strong and honest it is. If he gets uneasy or quiet, he might be hiding something, and the guilt will eventually push him to the edge.
Tell him that you would never keep secrets from him, and mean it. Share with him a secret that you've kept from him; it might encourage him to admit any secrets he may be keeping, and will deepen your relationship.
Hiring a private investigator can be the easiest way to gain proper evidence, but can be very costly.
You can use spy software or monitoring programs to catch him in the act to get real evidence.
A friend of mine called her boyfriend knowing he was home. When he didn't pick up his phone, she borrowed his crush's cell to call him, and he picked up the phone. She dumped him. Lesson learned, if you're really dumb enough to be cheating on someone, at least be smart enough to always pick up the phone.

Answer 5

OMG I am in the EXACT situation. I have a baby with this man...he had a smoke with a hot tenent in the building didnt awnser his phone lied that he saw her and i busted him..my gut said they had been doing it a while. Then he says she doesnt want to talk to him..yet she waits in the elevator for him...he had a ten minute conversation on the phone (forgot to delete it denied it was her number and so I called it and then hung up and she called him repeatedly afterwards..he lied so much..her number was in his car after I told him not to talk to her and I can beleive anything he says now. Also he did the same thing a while back as well with some hot girl he picked up at school..he said he left his cell phone so couldnt awnser but didnt tell me until I told him his story was fishy. He was in contact with an ex he told me he was attracted to and lied about that.

Let me tell you I cant afford to leave either but i did and I refuse to be lied to about it. I have a baby to support and am staying with a friend and will have a hard time making ends meet but I realized I did not want to spend the rest of my life with a liar.

Also he says he doesnt tell me because im so jealous but I think thats to bad because what kind of relationship is it when he can have a secret life like that..hes messing around with some skank in my building (not sexually) and god knows who else and even though it hurts like nothing else in my life ever has to leave him I know I cant spend the rest of my life with someone like that. My sitatuion might be a bit worse then yours but dont use money as an exuse to stay in a bad situation. Id like you to email me to let me know how it goes lol. GOod luck.

Answer 6

Yep, that's a first sign that something is going awry, when he says he can't tell you things because "you're so jealous". You should definately get out because he's just a waste of your time. Do you have the the department of housing and urban development? Maybe they could help you with finding a home and help with your finances until you get on your feet.

Answer 7

The only reason you found out anything is because you are the jealous type and a snoop ("borrowed" his cellphone, my eye). You only feel vindicated for your behaviour because you feel that you "found out" something, but it could have easily gone the other way, so you have no reason to feel so cocky. As it is, all that he has done, according to your account, is talk to these women. Well, and lie to you about having done that. If that's it, then I can tell by how you react why he would choose to go behind your back to speak to any women at all.

You are clearly possessive and the type to overreact. You want to leave because he SPOKE to some women, as if that is cheating on you and grounds for divorcing him. Then you imply that you should receive money from him for his "indiscretions". Frankly, I'm surprised he doesn't divorce you, the way you insist on keeping a tight leash on him. I'm also not surprised that you have no friends to turn to.

All in all it sounds like you are trying to find a reason to divorce him that will allow to to get his money, which might be why you married him to begin with.

Answer 8

Trust is what marriage is. He is not being honest with you. He is having an affair. Social services are limited help. Housekeeping, lawn work/snow plowing or do whatever extra jobs you can to make an extra income...take in a boarder. divorce him and get court ordered support/ work online. Find another man...

Answer 9

What if your husband was threatening to harm you physically? Think you would find a way to leave him? There's always a way! No marriage is a prison. But why do you have to leave? Why not just change the locks while he's gone one day and put all his things outside? Let him manage alone seeing as he's the one who has ruined the relationship!

He's proved to you more than once that he will lie so there's nothng more to trust with him. But your losses and GET OUT!

Answer 10

Don't use your lack of family or friends as an excuse. If you want out, YOU can get out. Your husband sounds a bit suspect and his behavior is definitely enough to send up red flags. No one can tell you what to do about your marriage, but I can say EVERYONE deserves respect, fidelity and honesty in a marriage. You don't have to tolerate his behavior and you shouldn't!