my mom and i haven't been getting along lately. i feel so unloved and unhappy. my "dad" just moved in and i don't like him at all. and ive been depressed a lot lately. so he decided to move out because my mom and my relationship is falling apart. but now my mom told me that her happiness is more important than mines, so now shes gonna tell him to move back in. would a good mom tell her only daughter this? she said the only thing she has to do is provide me with clothes food and shelter, and thats it. what should i do?
2007-01-27
07:03:39
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12 answers
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asked by
unique2thextreme
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in
Family & Relationships
➔ Other - Family & Relationships
i am only 13 years old
2007-01-27
07:16:32 ·
update #1
yes he's my real dad buthe hasn't been in my life my entire 13 yrs. im not mad at him, its just i dn't want or need a father now. i told my mom this but i was still aware of her happiness but i feel as though my happiness should be more important to my mom than her own, she should make a sacrifice for me.
2007-01-27
07:39:39 ·
update #2
Even though there is no law stating she has to love you and do her best to see that you are happy; she is wrong. There is no such law because it is naturally assumed a mother will do both. She is being selfish and thinking only of herself. She should be ashamed of herself. Try talking to your grandparents, aunt, uncle, or some other relative; or maybe the mother of a close friend. Your mother needs to realize that one day you will be an adult and out on your own. When that day comes she will look back with regret for having done you the way she did. She will wonder where all that time went. She will regret not showing you the love that you deserve. As to your question "would a good mom....." no she would not no matter how many daughters she has. I feel real bad for you. I really hope your mom comes to her senses very soon. Good luck sweetie.
2007-01-27 11:07:54
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answer #1
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answered by ctsnowmiss 4
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That really sucks...sorry that is the way she feels. I am a Mom of three boys and I can't imagion raising them by myself so I can see how your Mom would like to have the help and companionship of another adult...on the other hand, being a parent extends beyond food, clothes and shelter. I think that there are a few options avaliable to you...
if you are 18, move out.
if you are under 18, find a real and true friend. This is kind of hard especially for a girl, but if you do, spend as much time with her as you can.
get a bus pass. this enables you to have the freedom to move around and attend things.
enrol in school functions (sounds geeky but speech and debate, math club, chess...whatever strikes your fancy and is cheap)
If you are able to swing it get a YMCA membership. There are so many really great things to do there.
Also see your doctor about your depression. I have struggled with it forever and it is not fun. Try a B-vitamin complex if you are afraid to tell someone. This is harmless and you can not overdose on it if you follow the directions (you pee out the excess) B-vitamins will help your chemicals balance out and will help you combat the depression.
I really hope that you also talk to your Mom about what you decide to do. Please don't shut her out and keep her informed if you are a minor. She is still responsible for you if your under 18 even if you don't have a good relationship.
One last thing. Religion or lack thereof is often a comfort. I know that being preachy is not acceptable but if you need some extra comfort, often a religois leader can be there for you and the youth groups are often a great sorce of friends that are of the same mind.
I hope that this helps.
2007-01-27 07:18:29
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answer #2
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answered by kgm3boys 2
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First of all i wounder how old you are? If your feeling unloved i am guessing it is because you are feeling threatened of not having your mothers full and undivided time. Ask your self if you are willing to devote the rest of your life to your mother, just as you are asking her to do. That means you have no other friends than her. Does this sound fair too you? I hope not because your mother has a life too and it is unfair of you to impose such demands on her. Has your Dad (is this your real Dad?) done anything to you other than take some of your moms time away from you, to make you hate him so much? If he has harmed you then you have a foot to stand on, but if not try to be understanding of your mom because some day you may find your self in the same shoes. Remember your mother does love you even if you do not understand.
2007-01-27 07:17:08
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answer #3
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answered by mellow 2
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Do you mean your step-dad moved in? A good mother would not tell ANYONE let alone her daughter that she owes you food and shelter and nothing more. No child needs "nothing more" from their parent. On the other hand, no mother needs to leave herself unhappy because her child says she should. It sounds as though there is more to the situation than is in your question.
2007-01-27 07:29:40
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answer #4
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answered by DelK 7
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In this situation I have already been and I know how you feel. For a second (even thou it hurts) realize that this is your mother, another human being who deserves to be happy and raised you this far...let go of her. I felt like an orphan when I did that...and im not saying its easy but do it...she gave you life, give her the same gift back. Fine, fake a smile, get along with her and him and give it a chance...your mom loves you, but ..theres always :but"
I wish you good luck...totally understand how it hurts.
2007-01-27 07:11:18
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answer #5
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answered by ? 3
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sometimes moms are so wrapped up in finding their own happiness, they dont know how to be there for their children. as much as you deserve a mom who is there for you emotionally, it sounds like you dont have that in your life.
what you can do is look for friends who you can be supported emotionally. look for people who can give you what you cant get from your mom.
talk to a counselor, that might help you not take your moms actions so hard. you'll realize that she is hurting and just cant be there for you or anyone else. accepting that can be hard, but it can be done.
write your mom a letter and tell her how you feel. she might not even realize the effects of her actions on you. sounds like it is all about her right now.
if you dont write the letter, write a journal and get the pain out that way... or you can even do both!
good luck,
2007-01-27 07:12:03
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answer #6
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answered by maggiemae821 3
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have you ever tried discussing it the style you in user-friendly terms did above? With my mom particularly circumstances I ought to remind her that we've agreed to no longer communicate a pair of particular difficulty returned if it comes up. If she keeps pushing the subject i will enable her comprehend that i will come and communicate together with her at a time i've got faith greater mushy and characteristic what i decide to assert waiting earlier than time. we will sit down and communicate approximately it. Ask her some questions with regard to the region, possibly she's feeling inadequate and basically needs some commendation (if deserved) for issues carried out.
2016-11-27 22:40:26
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answer #7
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answered by ? 4
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she sounds extremely selfish, you are her daughter and living under her roof she should have some respect for your feelings too, if all she cares about is herself then distance yourself from her and take some steps to move out when you are 18 or try to see if you can live with another family member until then so you wont be so depressed about your mom's neglect towards you...
2007-01-27 07:15:56
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answer #8
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answered by MidnightSkies 7
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I know its hard, but can you talk to your mom abaout how you feel? Especially since you're feeling depressed, that's more serious. She also needs to support you. I should take my own advice, I know it's hard to talk to your mom, but try to tell her. If you need help, tell a trusted adult, friend, teacher, or counselor. Good luck.
2007-01-27 07:10:05
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answer #9
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answered by Anonymous
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my mom has says the exact same thing and i think she is just upset about you moving out, the best advice i can give you is to just let it simmer for a while and then try to talk to her about it later, also try and give him a chance, he might not be as bad of a guy as you think he is
2007-01-27 07:10:33
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answer #10
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answered by Jess 1
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