Shady or not??

Question

I don't know if my boyfriend of 5 years is dumb or what?? We have been together for five and living together for 1 1/2 years. He clearly knows how I am about when he goes on trips I like to just be updated on what he is doing, and he is the same with me. But he never comes through. Like this weekend (he is a pilot part-time flying) he went to California. He called me when he got there told me what room number but didn't give me the hotel number. He left a message saying "I told you it was at the Fairfield Inn Room blah blah blah)" maybe he didn't know the number. So he calls me this morning and since I'm still sleeping because of the time difference I didn't hear the phone. So he doesn't leave a message of nothing. He knows he is going to go do something with his co-pilot but doesn't give me updates so I text him because I was upset and he calls me from his co-pilots James cell because he said his battery was dying. Is this shady or just absentmindness?

Answer 1

To me your boyfriend doesn't sound like he has done anything wrong. He tried to contact you when he got a chance. If he was really doing shady stuff, trust me he wouldn't try half as hard to respond back to your calls. I would try to let your fears go, I know its hard when a love one is away and many times our heads start to wonder and doubt, but I'm sure everything is fine.

Answer 2

People do goofy/absentminded things all the time, but if you smell a rat (and first instincts shouldn't be ignored), a discussion (not a confrontation) regarding how you feel about all these goings on is definitely warranted. If your relationship's strong, he won't mind taking time out to discuss these things. Stress that you need more specifics when he fills you in and if he's not willing to oblige, the reasoning behind that should be explored.

If you guys can handle this without accusing one another or jumping to conclusions, you might (hopefully) discover that nothing's wrong here. If you're both honest and insightful during your talk, you'll get to the bottom of things, and if something's wrong between you, this could be your opportunity to work together and fix things. or ... not.

Best of luck with this.

addendum type thingy -- if you do the talk in depth thing, do it after he comes home. don't think i noted that. okay. that's it.

Answer 3

You know his co-pilot James....I would think after dating for as many years as you have....
So why would it be shady for him to use his phone.
If you have trust issues then you need to talk with him....
You've been together to long to have doubts and still be together.

Talk....would I think it was wierd...no...maybe he didn't have the number on hand....would I argue with him that far away and having to fly home....no....I would wait till he was home or back in the room and ask for the number....oh heck call information and then phone him.....
but don't argue long distance....not a good thing all around.

Best wishes

Answer 4

well, does this happen all the time or this is the only time he has been like this? I mean if it happens all the time, then yeah I think he is not taking the relatioship seriously, but if this is the only time, then maybe he was very tired, or I dont know it just happened?
I'd say talk to him and see why he did what he did, he might have really not meant them to happen and hurt you, but you need to make him understand that you get worried when you dont hear from him!

Answer 5

well...all i can say is that when i travel, i go through great lengths to keep in touch with my guy. i fly to poland to visit my daughter, and it is not easy to call him. my daughter has no house phone, our cell phones dont allow for international calls, and there are no pay phones in the area.i have to go to an internet cafe and use skype to call him . there is a 6 hour time difference,and if its winter when im over there, we have to walk in the cold and snow to get to public transportation,to get to the internet cafes. so- sounds like it should be easy for yall to stay in touch, if the motivation is there.perhaps he is enjoying the break a little more than you want him to. it seams like he is not making it a priority to hear his love's voice. as for me- the next time i go see my daughter in poland, im going to get an international plan on my phone.! should have done it several trips ago. oh- if your guy is slip-shod in other ares of his life, then his behavior may be an extention of his character, but if he is meticulous, and thorough in all other areas, then i would wonder why he is sloppy in this area of his life. making phone calls and keeping in touch with his love isnt exactly brain surgery, or like -flying a plane. best wishes

Answer 6

It sounds fine.
He is calling you and giving you updates. He might forget some small things but, he it trying to talk and keep you updated.
Just talk to him about how you feel and it will be fine.
Good Luck

Answer 7

I would say he was a bit absentminded he proabley doesnt know what your thinking

Answer 8

Don't invest more than 2 - 3 yrs. in a relationship without marriage.
Don't have kids out of wedlock..
Don't marry anyone you know to have personality / character flaws
of a serious nature...
As for your question..
He is taking you for granted...
Familiarity breeds contempt...

Answer 9

Your much too nosy. Be grateful he calls.
Give him space he is not your husband and if you want him to be stop nagging him.
If my guy doesn't want to tell me what is going on he wont'.. but he normally does but its not like I am chasing him about it. When he traveled he would check in and I would let him do his own thing. Calling in every hour is not what he needs it can be embarassing it's like your mother calling to see if your wearing a sweater.

Answer 10

Sounds normal to me, give the guy a little room to breath.