After my g/f was rape.d, she wanted to sleep in my arms. She said it made her feel safe and protected. Is this commonly true??
I was one of the only people she told. She never told her parents, even.
The next day was when she told me and then she spent the next night at my house. Should I not allow her to do this??
Parents would you be upset about me letting her sleep at my house?? Would you assume we were not "innocent"??
2007-01-27 06:31:46 · 14 answers · asked by Anonymous in Pregnancy & Parenting ➔ Adolescent
1.) I don't know how old you or your gf is.
2.) I'm going to assume you're both under the age of 18 or that you may be a little bit older then she is.
As a parent if my child as raped or hurt i'd want to know so we could do everything in our power to support her through it.
Some rape victims do go to where they find comfortable.
If i was a parent and my underage child was staying with out with a male overnight i'd be concerned can't say i couldn't believe it wasn't innocent but i'd be wondering what was up.
If she was really raped you need to talk to her parents and tell them that you love her and you want whats best for her and that you don't know what that is right now.
2007-01-27 06:47:49 · answer #1 · answered by Anonymous · 2⤊ 0⤋
Well, I personally think this is a natural reaction, and perfectly normal for someone who has just suffered trauma.
What you should do is get her to tell her parents. In these situations most parents can be very understanding and I am sure if they saw the situation they might be able to make a compromise with you, for letting her sleep near/in your arms.
Maybe instead of her sleeping at your house why don't you sleep at hers, I mean if it was my child, knowing they were under my room and the situation that would definitely put me at ease, since my daughter would still be close, under my own roof.
But she definitely needs to tell someone because it isn't healthy to keep something like that inside because it can cause her even more trauma. It is better to tell her family, and maybe IF she needs it go to a counselor, or maybe family support is enough. It all just depends on her.
I hope this helped, and best of luck.
2007-01-27 08:04:58 · answer #2 · answered by Barbiiee 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I hope that your girlfriend went to the police. If she didnt, how can this be your problem?? She has to tell! Her sleeping in your arms is a natural reaction, but she will never forget or erase what happened.
I would be upset if my son had a girl over sleeping and of course I would think they were not only sleeping. I would like if my son would tell me what the heck is going on.
GET YOUR GIRLFRIEND HELP.
2007-01-27 07:30:31 · answer #3 · answered by nikogal2006 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
It is always difficult for parents to think of adolescents as innocent because so may adolescents aren't and so many bad things can happen that can ruin everything we have tried to give you for your whole life. We remember being adolescents and we remember our regrets and don't want that for you. You need to think of what is best for your girlfriend, she feels violated, and vulnerable and cannot rely on you or someone else for the rest of her life to give her the strength to feel whole. She has to find that strength in herself. I understand that she doesn't want to tell anyone but there are counselors and health care professionals who will keep her secret and help her feel strong and confident about herself. Maybe buy her a year's worth of martial art lessons or something but just being there to hold her is very kind and very nice but it will cause an issue with her parents unless she tells them what happened. I wish you two all the best and hope that my answer has helped you.
2007-01-27 06:43:55 · answer #4 · answered by Huggles-the-wise 5 · 3⤊ 0⤋
You should encourage her to tell her parents and get counseling. If she won't talk to her parents then at least try to get her some help. This could potentially harm her in more ways than one. Of course her parents are gonna be upset because they don't really know the truth.
2007-01-27 07:31:45 · answer #5 · answered by cinnycinda 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I guess your wrong because you g/f must tell her parents so that way they can call the cops and put that rapist in prison for years!
and this is a hard question and strong to respond. I think that this is may be commonly true or not but she must go to her house and tell truth. who knows her more? her parents knows her more than u do. PELEE'S U MUST KNOW THAT YOUR G/F MUST TELL HER PARENTS EVERYHTING OF WHY WAS SHE RAPED AND WHERE WAS SHE!!!!!!!!!!!!
2007-01-27 08:03:35 · answer #6 · answered by DarkAngel93 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
You must be very special to her. You must make her feel very safe. Im not a parent but you should do everything you can to make her feel safe and keep her protected.
2007-01-27 08:14:33 · answer #7 · answered by italianchick0843 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
i say thats fine .. i think she should tell her parents what happened to her because thats serious but her wanting to feel safe and secure is not uncommon especially because your her boyfriend she feels good around you and you should feel good about yourself because she thinks of you this way you know that you can protect her if something were to happen
2007-01-27 06:41:51 · answer #8 · answered by Mel 2 · 3⤊ 0⤋
I think she needs to tell her parents what happened and press charges.
2007-01-27 06:42:54 · answer #9 · answered by mdoud01 5 · 1⤊ 0⤋
after i was raped i only wanted to be with my bf, if i was her parents i wouldnt be mad
2007-01-27 08:09:00 · answer #10 · answered by koi 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋