He's told me over and over that our relationship has no reconsiliation and he's leaving.The problem is he's become mentally and emotionally abusive; that i have no entry in his heart and mind to try to get him to fight for our marriage since he's falling in lust or love w/another woman...Therefore i have no choice but to say nothing and stay calm and unresponsive but hurting to see my life crumbling b 4 my eyes!!!!he says i don't love him and is spending every free time w her and behaving plain cruel w/me and am feeling completely lost,scared and helpless...how should i act in the next 4 days w/him there...
2007-01-27 06:04:21 · 16 answers · asked by Anonymous in Family & Relationships ➔ Marriage & Divorce
ive been there,but mine lastsd 6 months, before he left. i believe in "fake it before you make it" conduct yourself as a person who is emotionally detached from him and what he is doing. you may find a little bit of calm start to come over you. in your mind, focus yourself as a person who is calm, strong, and has a shield around you that keeps harm from overcoming you. see yourself as you want to be after you are over this- better than before.better than ever. a new woman.keep your sight on this woman, and never let go.believe me, you have much more power than you know, and it takes just this kind of pain to cause you to develop it. perhaps you never had as much of a reason to find your power that exists in your mind. the pain you feel comes from your mind, and so does the ability to overcome it. then, time will do the rest. take this opportunity to find how much you have, and go farther than you ever have. you now have a journey that you are afraid of, but its kind of like dorothy in the wizard of oz- she always had the power to go back to kansas, she just didnt believe it. that was the "moral" of the story. the same is true for all of us. we can get past any pain that life brings us.and we can be better for it. been there. best wishes
2007-01-27 06:35:18 · answer #1 · answered by DEBI M 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Don't give him another minute at the house. If he's made this choice, let him deal with every consequence of that choice. Why does he get to mooch off you for 5 more days while he hurls these hurtful accusations at you? Tell him to get out. I'm not sure if you really want to see this relationship heal, but until he respects you, there's no hope whatsoever, and frankly, you're giving him nothing to respect. Tell him if he's made his choice then don't pussyfoot around about it, just go, and if he doesn't, next time he leaves the house, change the locks and leave his bags at the front door.
2007-01-27 07:03:37 · answer #2 · answered by You'll Never Outfox the Fox 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
in my opinion, you need to have a support group and when ever he's around be on the phone so other people can hear how cruel he is, you may even want to taperecord it so when it comes to divorce you have proof that he needs to support you and maybe even pay for your counseling. Since he's decided to leave you fr another woman even after you have tried to forgive means he is a very cruel shallow person, and he'd rather leave with trash than make it work with a good woman ( you should go rent Diary OF A mad Black woman- its probably exactly how you feel, you'll feel very heart broken at first, then you'll start to get very very very angry) So dont give him anything emotionally in the ext couple days, show him you have a life, and the one he's leaving behind will be fine, and the new girl is a tramp for continuing this hoewrecking behavior. Just remember you had it in your heart to make it work, so you are a good woman, you will find someone who appreciates that quality. trust me there are men out there dying for affection that your willling to give out, and some even may have the money to show you financcially that you deserve to wear a Tiara make of diamonds.... so too bad for the hubby, please stay strong ....if you need reinforcement in this department beleiving your wrong then go to helpguide.org/mental/domestic_violence
2007-01-27 06:17:59 · answer #3 · answered by Jane Doe 3 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Although i'm young and you probably won't really care about my advise seeing i've never been married before. You can't keep taking him back, than he just thinks he can take advantage of that, you need to stop forgiving him for all of those things. The things that he has done are pretty awful, if you keep forgiving him, it will lead to more issues in your relationship. If you don't get out of that marriage soon than who knows what will happen. I'm so sorry to say this but you need to wake up and get out of that marriage as soon as possible. I'm scared for you because more horrible things can happen. I know that it's incredibly hard for a women to let go of a man they love, even after how many mistakes they make, the women most of the time just take them back because they love them and they say a few things to make them forgive them again. In the end, you'll just get hurt again. I'm so sorry. Best of luck. xo
2016-03-29 05:11:05 · answer #4 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
what is stopping him from going now, does she have a husband or boyfriend? yes it hurts and is much worse having him there and knowing what's to come. did u ask him why he feels u don't love him, as hard as it is to see, maybe he is taking these 4 days to really see if he wants to go. maybe this is your window of opportunity, i don't know for sure. maybe u should talk to him, maybe he really doesn't want to go.but maybe he is abusive because he wants to be with her, but why hasn't he left yet. so try anything u can think of, all it will hurt is your ego and self worth if u get rejected. worth a try anyway. i could be completely wrong about it, just wondering why is he waiting these 4 days.blow his mind away with whatever u can think to do to show your love. yes i know how u feel, it is absolutely the worst feeling in the world one can feel. so if his major complaint is u don't love him, well show him, if he leaves anyway or rejects u, u will know it has nothing to do with u.
2007-01-27 09:53:11 · answer #5 · answered by jude 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
He's being an ***, so for the five days be as scarce as you can. You don't want to escalade the abusive behavior. But after he leaves he'll be regretting that he left the greatest thing that ever happened to him. And you need to pamper YOURSELF, you now need to take care of you. So go get your mind off things, and start getting over him because you can do better.
2007-01-27 07:13:11 · answer #6 · answered by MARJ213 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
5 more days!!! What are you crazy? Pack his bag put it outside and change the locks! Why live with him for 5 more days. There is just no excuse. Get him out of your life so you can move on, period!
2007-01-27 06:49:42 · answer #7 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
What is the meaning of 5 days??? 5 more days of abuse? Tell him you want him gone NOW! Let him go and abuse her because that is what is going to happen.I don't mean that to be mean but he sounds like a tyrant. No one needs that. Good luck.
2007-01-27 06:27:08 · answer #8 · answered by Pesty Wadoo 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
You need to get out of there ASAP. Gather your self respect, snag his credit card and go book yourself in a nice room until her is gone.
2007-01-27 07:01:53 · answer #9 · answered by Jennifer D 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I'd say good riddance. Hang in there, it's only 4 more days.
2007-01-27 06:20:33 · answer #10 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋