Is being shy a crime?

Question

I always find that people after awhile don't really like me cause I'm not that sociable and can be a bit reserved. I'm just quiet, so I don't get why I gradually became 'a mean person' to people that I recently met.

Answer 1

yes, it is quite hard, i expect you're also very tense and feel nervous about how to deal with anyone that comes your way - and how to start, hold and keep a conversation going etc.... I get this as well, but start with yourself - relax more, and try to think of the others - how would they feel to see you feeling awkward? When you feel awkward it also makes others uncomfortable too , it makes them feel unsure of what to say to make you feel better - so always try to behave as if you're putting other's feeling first, then hopefully you'll forget about worrying about yourself and you'll relax.....hope this helps...

Answer 2

I feel the same way sometimes...maybe I can help. First, it's no crime to be shy and reserved. I think those who are the "social butterfly" type open themselves up to too many people who are untrustworthy. It's unfortunate, but the untrustworthy most definitely outnumber the trustworthy, so being reserved is smart, it's not a defect. And if others find that you have become "a mean person" to them, then you don't need those people around you, anyway.

Answer 3

Oh i know exactly how you feel about this. I used to be really shy, unsociable and reserved, but now im a bit older (17) i've noticed a difference in myself. Its all about believing in yourself. Believe you can say your opinions without worrying about what people think, stick your chin out and relax. Your thoughts matter as much as everyone else. I still am fairly unsociable in that i dont go out much and shout about etc but that is a personality thing. You do what you want to do, and say what you want to say. If you want to stay quiet, be proud and stay quiet. Im sometimes quiet, sometimes loud, depends entirely on who im with and what mood im in. Some people i say the hell i want and i know they wont care, others i just feel uncomfortable around. In crowded places for example.

You are your own person, believe in yourself, if you want to open up more, it can be done, but just remember, you cant be someone you're not. Realise who you are, realise what you can be and realise what you cant be. You'll eventually come to a stage where you will just be yourself, and be happy with yourself. Life isnt worth worrying about what people think, you are not 'mean', you are just you. If people think you are mean then they are just stupid and dont know you well enough!

Answer 4

It's definitely not a crime, but can be considered almost like a safety net. Basically you don't know what people are like after you start talking to them. You ask yourself, "If I say this, what will their answer be, will it be mean or will it be kind. I used to be this way, until I started practicing talking to a mirror, to find out which way would be the best to approach somebody you don't know. After reviewing the possible choices, I chose to walk right up to somebody and introduce myself to them. Also if you ask your friends for help, I think they'll understand where you're coming from. Hope that helps anybody out there who's really shy:)

Answer 5

You get angry because you are fustrated at the condition of being shy. You can overcome shyness, it just takes a bit of work. Always have some thing to talk about. Watch the news, watch soaps, take up a hobby like the gym, take an interest in fashion etc..Its all about having something to talk about.. When you meet people the talking should not be left entirely up to you either, Ifs its a one way conversation then walk away..

Answer 6

I am shy but i try hard to be friendly even if its just a smile or looking interested in the person talking to me. Sometimes being quiet can be taken as rudeness or snobbishness (if thats even a word!) people used to be scared of me because i was quiet and didnt realise i was scowling a lot through nerves and timidness. Just plaster a big grin on your face and relax your body language a bit.

Answer 7

Im quite shy and have the same problem sometimes. Latley i have been talking a little more and the people dont think im so mean.
Im not that sociable either :/, but you just have to try to be sociable and maybe things will get a little better.

Answer 8

why a crime . i am very shy. in fact never met anybody shier, but i have still done well . been to uni and got a great job .the shy quiet people are just as important as the noisy one's, the quiet one's come up with the best idea's anyway. "Ritual socialising" is great if your into it. You will meet the right person and it will click.

Answer 9

No it's kl 2 be shy. Dont worry about it every1 is different and if people dont like u cause ur shy there will be other people that will. Wen ur at skool and stuff just be u dont be a different person. Start 2 speak ur opinions more and ull c people will still listen and ull gt more confident.

Answer 10

ya i know im the same way. if i dont know you that well then im pretty quiet because i just dont really know what to say or how to take people sometimes. my ex boyfriend would always ***** at me for not talking alot to his friends and everything but i never knew what to say or anything. and they always thought i was being a b*tch. but i wasnt meaning to be. I dont think being shy is a crime...im the same way as you, if people dont like it then oh well!