After our engagement, my future husband's ex-wife took it upon herself to e-mail his family (who I haven't met yet) and bad mouth me and tell them we were getting married. She still e-mails him on the "happenings" with her and her family in which my future hubby don't even care about because they are divorced. If he runs into a family member of hers, he is polite but don't go into detail about their divorce. I'm a divorcee myself of 11 years and have cut ties with my ex-inlaws unless they iniciate contact (which haven't done in YEARS). How can we get her to do the same??? He tired to tell her that what she did was wrong (e-mail his family) but she just don't get it.
2007-01-27 05:18:01 · 10 answers · asked by Tammy 1 in Family & Relationships ➔ Marriage & Divorce
The reason why I haven't met some of his family members is because they live on the other side of the country as we do. They are coming to the wedding.
Whenever he gets an e-mail from his ex-wife, he NEVER responds out of respect towards me. Gotta love him for that!
She is the one who divorced him. She cheated on him with a married man and now that marriage has ended too but that one has little ones attached.
She likes to start rumors about me and they always come back. Example: she says I'm outspoken to the point of "bossy", that I'm no good for him, that I will never make him happy, etc.... yeah I do let it go in one ear and out the other but it still hurts when my friends tell me they heard it from HER!
He has told her (with me present) that he don't want anymore e-mails from her and that they are divorced because she wanted it so, "you need to leave us alone and move on".
Thanks for all your input. I get to grace her with my presence at tonights party
2007-01-27 07:34:41 · update #1
Not that it matters, but she probably "gets" it but hasn't "let go" of the connection. She may never let go. Your husband may need to take sterner measures (if he is so inclined--if he isn't, it's not unthinkable that he could be a little flattered by her attention). The measures need to keep getting more stern until she let's go.
2007-01-27 05:39:37 · answer #1 · answered by DelK 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
What she is doing is NOT wrong. Some ex's stay in touch with their "ex" inlaws. I say in touch with mine. Just because I am no longer married to their son doesn't mean I have ended my friendship with his parents. His mom and I were very good friends as was his cousin and myself and we still are. You are just going to have to live with the fact that not all divorces are like the one between you and your ex and you're going to have to learn to tolerate the fact that everyone is different.
2007-01-27 06:26:41 · answer #2 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
We could be sisters.
My husband's ex-wife dumped him for another man, cheated on her current husband with another man as well. Now, she has her husband on one side of the state, her boyfriend on another, and her ex-husband (my hubby) up north with me.
When she found out that my husband and I were getting married three and a half years ago, she flipped. Why? Beats me. She and my husband were together for 18 yrs, then she cheated and left, and took their 3 kids with her.
I met her for the first time at a wedding a year and a half ago and she put the moves on my husband right in front of me and her husband (while her boyfriend was sitting by waiting for her on the other side of the state).
This wedding was of her ex-niece's, but that side of the family is still close with my hubby's ex-wife. I am stumped, too.
Truth be told, once the spouse divorces, he/she is divorcing all rights to the in-laws....PERIOD!!!
My mother left my father, but she still has contact with my father's family....WHY??????
Stupidity, if you ask me.
Once they leave....that's it.....GAME OVER!!!
Lay it on the line with your fiance....looks like his ex-wife is in it for the long haul. You've got ensuing issues, and I would take it upon yourself to call her and tell her to mind her own business and to stay out of your life.
Hope this helps...
2007-01-27 05:30:20 · answer #3 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
I think that she still wants to be in contact with him because she is still in love with him. I was in that situation...somewhat. My ex-husband wanted to get back together with me & start a "new life" together. Guess what....It didn't happen!! I just ignored him until he finally let it go between us. I would sit down with your fiance & talk it over with him and say,
"Look, honey, I love you & it seems kinda funny that you are keeping in contact with your ex fairly regularly. I want some time with you, not your ex hanging over your head. Can you keep it in your heart to say something to her?"
Maybe if he hears it from you that you are hurting inside about this, he may take the action.
And the way she "bad-mouths" you.......Let it go in one ear & out the other. She is just jealous that you have him now. Deep down inside of her, she still loves him, but she can't have him. She needs to get over it someday.....SOON!!!
Good luck!!
2007-01-27 05:38:26 · answer #4 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
And she never will. The only way is to ignore her. She is doing this for attention and even negative attention is reinforcing. So ignore her as much as you can. Put her e mail on spam lock out and stop giving her any feedback. Treat her like she does not exist and soon she will do just that.
2007-01-27 05:23:29 · answer #5 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
Your future husband should have told his family that he intends on getting married to you,why hasn't he done this yet, and why hasn't he introduced you to his family yet , that sounds fishy to me. You should have already met his family if wedding plans are in the works.
2007-01-27 05:30:03 · answer #6 · answered by Mary O 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
your husband needs to tell the in laws to butt out . he should stop being polite and get ugly with her and tell her to move on he has . Ettiquette ? there is not any when it comes to divorce . sometimes you have to be ugly with people before they get the picture. good luck .
2007-01-27 06:48:21 · answer #7 · answered by Kate T. 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
have you future hubby call her with you on the line and tell her to go away....
sounds like there's more to this story than what you are telling us.......
and for proper divorce etiquette.............. there isn't any
2007-01-27 05:22:53 · answer #8 · answered by wjk31092 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
He should ask his family to stop listening to her...
He can tell his ex that he will sue her for slander
if she keeps it up....
2007-01-27 05:34:19 · answer #9 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
She sounds jealous.And your fiance,s family probably know this.He is handling it as a gentleman.Ignore her.
2007-01-27 05:23:52 · answer #10 · answered by april showers 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋