how can you get over a death of a love one?

Question

he was my son its hard to go on without him he was 20 years old died may 17 2006

Answer 1

I know that it is hard to get over it when anyone dies and especially your child. A person that you have grown to love and develop lasting relationships with and memories. We are all appointed a time to arrive and a time to die, by the one that created us all. I am a writer and I wrote a poem and I would like to share this with you and hope that the words in this poem will let you know that you will one day again be reunited with your son.
Here is the poem:
Death is not a time to fear
Or is it a time to fret
Jesus is ever near
It is not over yet
Even though I have left you below
You must already know

I am in the Holy City
where there is plenty
I will be here waiting for all
Of you when God chooses to call

Death is not the end
It is just a crossing in the bend
I am with Jesus above
Who is extending his Great Love.

Death is coming to all
So that we will not fall
Jesus is still on the throne
And He will never be gone.

When we close our eyes
We are in the Heavenly skies
Forever to live with Him in High
In the sweet by and by.

May you know that your child is with the Lord above, and may you come to know that if you have Jesus in your heart and have accepted his gift of eternal salvation that you too one day will be there with your son forever in the Sweet By and By.
God Bless you and your family and I hope that this will encourage you to develop a closer relationship with the Heavenly Father who is the only way to that Heavenly Home.
In His Amazing Love:
Laura

Answer 2

I am so sorry for your loss. And so this makes it harder to tell you that the only way to get over the death of a loved one is time. I lost a loved one 5 years ago and I still miss and think about her every day of my life. I will say it takes a long time, but it does get easier as the years go by. It will never go away completely, because you have such love for him. But eventually your life returns to a normal routine and you just keep the memory of that person with you at all times. Just always keep the good memories alove and try not to concentrate on how he passed. This will help you also. Remember how he was when he laughed and played and was his happiest.

Answer 3

I am so sorry that you lost your son! I don't think you can get over his death. That is very hard, but I am sure he would not want you to go on living your life, mourning his. You will always have the wonderful memories from him and you never have to let go of those. Just try to live for the future and don't forget the past. He will always be with you in your heart and mind. Stay strong!

Answer 4

This first year is going to be the hardest for you because each holiday will be a reminder that he's gone and will make you hurt. Time will help with your pain...after this first year, it will get a little easier. You'll regret what he's not here, but after the first year or two, you'll be able to see around the pain to the good memories of him. Those good memories will help you come to terms with his being gone.

I wish I could tell you you'll get over it, but a tiny little part of you will always mourn him and regret his being gone from your life. It's been 10 years, and I still experience things I wish I could share. Thinking of my loved one doesn't hurt, not like you're hurting right now, but the regret and sadness are still there.

Answer 5

I'm so sorry. My son went to Heaven 3 yrs. ago, he was 22. I know the pain you must be feeling. I don't know if I would have made it through if not for the Lord Jesus Christ. He has comforted me, given me peace and continues to work in my life. I know He has a plan for all our lives and for some reason, my son's life only numbered 22 years on this earth but I know he is in a glorious place with our Heavenly Father. It takes time, don't be too hard on yourself. It's a process and really, you will never be the same, how could you? But I know I've been blessed and I hope to encourage you to keep on going, keep your eyes focused on the Lord and take time to rest in His peace. I hope this helps. I am sorry that you lost your son so soon, but I do believe it's part of God's plan for us. Give God a chance to work in your heart, He wants to. Take care.

Answer 6

Very sorry to hear about the loss of your son.

There is no easy way to "get over it." In one sense, you will never get over it. He was your son, and you will carry his memory with you forever, and you should treasure that.

However, time will heal the worst of the pain, and you will be able to carry on. It sounds pretty lame, but just keeping going through your daily routine will help. You son would want you to do so. Cherish your memories of your son, but the pain will gradually become less sharp as time moves on.

My father committed suicide when I was a teenager. It hurt beyond anything I've ever experienced in my life. In fact, it still hurts, but not like it used to.

I wish you all the best in dealing with your grief. God bless you and your family.

Answer 7

There is no way to ever get over the lose of your son. Don't let his memory go. Just know that he is always with you. He's watching over you day and night. I know it's hard, very hard. Picture all of the good times you had together and relive them over and over again. I am so sorry for your loss.

Answer 8

Always remember the life you shared with your son. Through good and bad. Never regret anything on how you raised him. He is in your heart and pride and joy always. I believe you did your very best to be what he is, and that is whats important. Take your time to move on. He is with you when times are lonely and will dry your tears when it falls. My condolences to you and your family...

Answer 9

I dont think you ever get over it. but im sure your son loves you and is watching over you, so give him something good to watch and live your life to the fullest, cause when you smile Im sure he is smiling too.

Answer 10

I am very sorry for your loss.

You may find this article to be comforting.
"It Can't Be True!"

'We've got bad news for you. There's been an accident, and . . . your son, . . . your son has been killed.'

A NEW YORK (U.S.A.) man relates: "My son Jonathan was visiting friends a few miles away. My wife, Valentina, didn't like him to go out there. She was always nervous about the traffic. But he loved electronics, and his friends had a workshop where he could get practical experience. I was at home in west Manhattan, New York. My wife was away visiting her family in Puerto Rico. 'Jonathan will be back soon,' I thought. Then the doorbell rang. 'That'll be him for sure.' It wasn't. It was the police and paramedics. 'Do you recognize this driver's license?' the police officer asked. 'Yes, that's my son's, Jonathan's.' 'We've got bad news for you. There's been an accident, and . . . your son, . . . your son has been killed.' My first reaction was, 'It can't be true!' That bombshell opened a wound in our hearts that is still healing, even years later."

A father in Barcelona (Spain) writes: "Back in the Spain of the 1960's, we were a happy family. There were María, my wife, and our three children, David, Paquito, and Isabel, aged 13, 11, and 9 respectively.

"One day in March 1963, Paquito came home from school complaining of severe head pains. We were baffled as to what could be the cause—but not for long. Three hours later he was dead. A cerebral hemorrhage had snuffed out his life.

"Paquito's death took place over 30 years ago. Even so, the deep pain of that loss stays with us to this day. There is no way that parents can lose a child and not feel that they have lost something of themselves—regardless of how much time passes or how many other children they may have."

These two experiences, where parents lost children, illustrate how deep and lasting the wound is when a child dies. How true the words of a doctor who wrote: "The death of a child is usually more tragic and traumatic than the death of an older person because a child is the last person in the family expected to die. . . . The death of any child represents the loss of future dreams, relationships [son, daughter-in-law, grandchildren], experiences . . . that have not yet been enjoyed." And this sense of deep loss can also apply to any woman who has lost a baby through miscarriage.

A bereaved wife explains: "My husband, Russell, had served as a medical aide in the Pacific theater during World War II. He had seen and survived some terrible battles. He came back to the United States and to a more tranquil life. Later he served as a minister of God' Word. In his early 60's he began to have symptoms of a heart problem. He tried to lead an active life. Then, one day in July 1988, he suffered a massive heart attack and died. His loss was devastating. I never even got to say good-bye. He was not just my husband. He was my best friend. We had shared 40 years of life together. Now it seemed that I had to face a special loneliness."

These are just a few of the thousands of tragedies that strike families throughout the world every day. As most grieving persons will tell you, when death takes your child, your husband, your wife, your parent, your friend, it is truly what the Christian writer Paul called it, "the last enemy." Often the first natural reaction to the dreadful news may be denial, "It can' be true! I don' believe it." Other reactions often follow, as we will see.—1 Corinthians 15:25, 26.

However, before we consider the feelings of grief, let us answer some important questions. Does death mean the end of that person? Is there any hope that we can see our loved ones again?



There Is a Real Hope




The Bible writer Paul offered hope of relief from that "last enemy," death. He wrote: "Death is to be brought to nothing." "The last enemy to be abolished is death." (1 Corinthians 15:26, The New English Bible ) Why could Paul be so sure of that? Because he had been taught by one who had been raised from the dead, Jesus Christ. (Acts 9:3-19) That is also why Paul could write: "Since death is through a man [Adam], resurrection of the dead is also through a man [Jesus Christ]. For just as in Adam all are dying, so also in the Christ all will be made alive."—1 Corinthians 15:21, 22.

Jesus was deeply grieved when he met a widow of Nain and saw her dead son. The Bible account tells us: "As [Jesus] got near the gate of the city [Nain], why, look! there was a dead man being carried out, the only-begotten son of his mother. Besides, she was a widow. A considerable crowd from the city was also with her. And when the Lord caught sight of her, he was moved with pity for her, and he said to her: 'Stop weeping.' With that he approached and touched the bier, and the bearers stood still, and he said: 'Young man, I say to you, Get up!' And the dead man sat up and started to speak, and he gave him to his mother. Now fear seized them all, and they began to glorify God, saying: 'A great prophet has been raised up among us,' and, 'God has turned his attention to his people.'" Notice how Jesus was moved with pity, so that he resurrected the widow's son! Imagine what that portends for the future!—Luke 7:12-16.

There, in front of eyewitnesses, Jesus performed an unforgettable resurrection. It was a token of the resurrection that he had already predicted some time prior to this event, a restoration to life on earth under "a new heaven." On that occasion Jesus had said: "Do not marvel at this, because the hour is coming in which all those in the memorial tombs will hear his voice and come out."—Revelation 21:1, 3, 4; John 5:28, 29; 2 Peter 3:13.

Other eyewitnesses to a resurrection included Peter, along with some others of the 12 who accompanied Jesus on his travels. They actually heard the resurrected Jesus speak by the Sea of Galilee. The account tells us: "Jesus said to them: 'Come, take your breakfast.' Not one of the disciples had the courage to inquire of him: 'Who are you?' because they knew it was the Lord. Jesus came and took the bread and gave it to them, and the fish likewise. This was now the third time that Jesus appeared to the disciples after his being raised up from the dead."—John 21:12-14.

Therefore, Peter could write with utter conviction: "Blessed be the God and Father of our Lord Jesus Christ, for according to his great mercy he gave us a new birth to a living hope through the resurrection of Jesus Christ from the dead."—1 Peter 1:3.

The apostle Paul expressed his confident hope when he said: "I believe all the things set forth in the Law and written in the Prophets; and I have hope toward God, which hope these men themselves also entertain, that there is going to be a resurrection of both the righteous and the unrighteous."—Acts 24:14, 15.

Millions therefore can have the solid hope of seeing their loved ones alive again on earth but under very different circumstances. What will those circumstances be? Further details of the Bible-based hope for our lost loved ones will be discussed in the final section of this brochure, entitled "A Sure Hope for the Dead."

But first let us consider questions you may have if you are grieving over the loss of a loved one: Is it normal to grieve this way? How can I live with my grief? What can others do to help me cope? How can I help others who are grieving? And principally, What does the Bible say about a sure hope for the dead? Will I ever see my loved ones again? And where?