I am 19 years old and I live on my own and there is this 16 year old girl who I think is using me. She is now dressing like me, she cut her hair and colored it like mine, she got the same phone as I have, and she always wants to spend the night with me on the weekends. The huge problem with that is she always asks me if she can have some guy come over and spend the night too. It's always a different guy, and she'll have sex with him! In MY house! She BEGGED one of my fionce's friends to sleep with her! She had just met him! Every time she mets a guy she sleeps with him or tries to! And she always wants to drink and begges my fionce to get alchohol for her AND, she hits on him! Infront of me! She grabbed his a**! I'm tired of putting up with her. She is trying to be like me but better and she is a **** and she is using me. help! how do I tell her off???
2007-01-27 04:35:33 · 38 answers · asked by bugeyed74 1 in Family & Relationships ➔ Other - Family & Relationships
My Dear...
You should take several issues into consideration...
1) She is still young & inexperienced...
2) She is driven by much of COLD passion
3) She is kind of lost...
4) She does what she does out of nothing at all...
5) She doesn't know what she wants or where she goes...
6) She is merely having fun....
7) She doesn't weigh her actions like she should
8) She is taking things for granted
9) She doesn't know she is irritating you...
10) She needs to be told....
ON THE OTHER HAND...
1) You happen to be the perfect resort to her....
2) You happen to be a perfect example to her...
3) You know what it takes to doing things right...
4) You made her look up for you without you knowing it...
5) You are more matured than her.....
6) You are being the modle she likes....
7) You are the kind one who goes along the current....
8) You are right and she is wrong....
9) You are rational and she is not...
10) You are silent and she is not...
Remember...THE VERY BEST WAY TO GETTING THINGS SOLVED, IS TO TALK ABOUT IT...
No need for screaming, shouting or quarrelling at all...
You have been patient enough, and you need to be smarter now with the kind of words you select while TALKING to her...
You need to address your words to her soooooooooooooo calmly & easy....
You show her where she has gone wrong, in which way, when and how...
You need not to show an upsetting face while saying it, but rather with a smile which should convey to her a message that she seemed too silly / stupid with her behavior...
Please DO NOT BLAME HER...
She feels like winning a lot doing it her way...that way...
You need to advise her of what's good & bad you see in all she does...and how she will end up with people TAKING BID ADVANTAGES out of what she does.....
If she likes your hair style...no problem...this shows your sharp taste, and it doesn't really matter..
As a matter of fact, you could USE all the incidents where she sounds like immitating you by simply TELLING HER IN AN ADVICE-LIKE MANNER how you wish her to act to be the Person you like her to be...and in that sense, you pull her to your side adopting other qualities of a proper personality rather than being such a "b i t c h" with her acts...
This should be the RED LINE for you to keep her within your ARENA...and you need to TELL her about it; clearly...
Should she stop doing such childish behavior, by all means... She is welcomed to your friendship...otherwise, if she still behave the way she does, then it is time for you to go your separate ways...
2007-01-27 05:18:30 · answer #1 · answered by FOREVER AUTUMN 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Two options:
Just ignore her and do other things and tell her you are busy until she finds someone else.
or
Talk to her about her ways, you may be able to influence her and show her that there is a different way to live by respecting herself. This option will either annoy her and push her away, or you might have an influence on her life that will impact her whole rest of her life. She already seems to look up to you (flattery is a compliment) so just tell her that it hurts you to see her doing the things with herself that she does. If you are trying to get rid of her; don't let her bring guys over and don't let your numb-nut bf buy her booze!
She has issues that are more than likely due to her upbringing and it would not even surprise me if she was sexually abused at a younger age, which would explain her promiscuity. She feels that the only thing she has going for her is giving it up as sexual abuse may have ingrained in her and she does not see herself as something she wants to be and therefore mimics you.
2007-01-27 04:48:15 · answer #2 · answered by Marc 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Just cut all ties with her. It seems this girl is physco leech and you can do better when it comes down to having friends. Stop returning her calls, avoid her at all costs - only you can put an end this toxic relationship you have with her. You only encourage it when she spends the night over at your place and etc. And if all else fails just simply tell her to go take a hike, and that you feel that being friends is not at your best interest right now. At some point she has to get the hint and step off, she sound really creepy dressing up like you and all... watch your back and contact your local police department if she doesn't back off after you told her to. Take care and good luck!
2007-01-27 04:43:41 · answer #3 · answered by gokusgirl_2000 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
While I don't know where you live, or where her parents are, this is illegal. Being that you are over 18, and she is not then giving her alcohol and letting her have sex in your home is contributing to the delinquency of a minor. Don't get me wrong, I am not saying you are a criminal. I am simply letting you know that she is not only annoying, she could affect your future by giving you a record. She could even get mad at you and get you arrested herself, much less her parents, or guardians. Let that be the reason you give her the boot, then you don't seem so mean. Tell her you just found out the amount of trouble it could cause you both and you can't put yourselves through that. Good Luck!
2007-01-27 04:43:46 · answer #4 · answered by tryin4freedom 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
You just have to let her that you don't want to be around her anymore. If she was your friend she wouldn't be hitting on your boyfriend. You need to look out because if she is sleeping around at the age of 16 and begging your boyfriend friends to sleep with her it will be matter of time before she ask your boyfriend in the bed. If she is tiring to be like you then she don't have a life of her own.
2007-01-27 04:47:42 · answer #5 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
If she is as clingy and looks up to you as much as you say she does, then you might need to resort to a little girl-to-girl chat. Start off by telling her how you feel: that she is suffocating you. Tell her that you think that she's a great girl (even if that's not completely true), but that you need your space. Make sure to tell her that she has a great personality, and doesn't need to imitate you to get people to like her. While you're at it, tell her that as a friend, you suggest that she waits until she gets to know a guy before she sleeps with him. She has plenty of time ahead of her, and if she slows down, she just might form a more lasting relationship.
2007-01-27 04:46:17 · answer #6 · answered by Prue 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
God girl if all that already happened what else are u waitin for. Don't feel bad or try to find a best way to tell her you don't want her around you anymore. She obviously doesn't care or respects you so why should you. Man if that as me she would have been gone long time ago.
2007-01-27 04:44:01 · answer #7 · answered by Ivy A 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Say to your boyfriend, that you do not want her here any more, and that you should not have started it. Now you have to say to her. she is moving too fast, and that you do not think it is a good idea for her to be at your house any more. Tell her to hang around people her own age. And concentrate on her school work. So that she can prepare her self for life!
2007-01-27 04:43:39 · answer #8 · answered by roseannetb@verizon.net 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
tell yourself off too.
Allowing a young girl to do this stuff is contributing to the delinquency of a minor. In other words you are largely to blame for the person she is. Couldn't you tell she was only coming over to get away with things????
2007-01-27 04:40:50 · answer #9 · answered by Shorty 2 · 2⤊ 0⤋
I would just tell her that you are not going to allow underage drinking in your house. and if she still begs just avoid her, don't answer the phone or door, she is definitely using you to have a place to party on the weekends tell her NO
2007-01-27 04:41:38 · answer #10 · answered by mrsdreamy 1 · 1⤊ 0⤋