If someone who we, perhaps, feel friendly towards but otherwise have no special attraction to, declares love for us for no reason that we are conscious of encouraging, are we morally bound to respect that and to try to avoid hurting that person? Should we try to discourage that feeling?
Have you ever been in that situation and, if so, how did you handle it?
2007-01-27 03:53:50 · 17 answers · asked by The Man in the Hat 2 in Family & Relationships ➔ Friends
Well, I have been in a similar situation like this. I did not want to hurt their feelings so I tried just about anything I could except tell them I wasn't interested. The thing is: it was the wrong choice.
Yes, you will hurt their feelings by telling them you aren't interested. But, if you do it nicely (as nice as possible, anyway), you may not lose a friend. It will be weird for awhile, and you'll either go your separate ways or they'll get over it. Either way, it's a lot less painful to tell the truth.
2007-01-27 04:09:59 · answer #1 · answered by aolani_dragon_3000 1 · 2⤊ 0⤋
The first that you must respect, is your feelings. You are morally bound to explain simply and clearly how you feel. A good explanation with kindness and concern is the best.
Maybe the other person has misunderstood your behavior and he "translates" that you are in love! So, explain.
Yes, you have to discourage that feeling. Since you do not feel the way the other person wants, this is a true respect. By respecting your personal feelings, you protect your friend from bigger hurts.
2007-01-27 12:07:26 · answer #2 · answered by Alice in Wonderbra 7 · 2⤊ 0⤋
Well I think we are all somewhat responsible for others emotions... we can affect the world around us; however, we live in a 'me' world. I think you should respect the feelings and be honest. If you are not interested you need to clearly let that be known, but that doesn't mean you need to be hurtful about it. All it takes is one to crush a person spirits... I have been in that situation. I have been honest with them. For the ones not so hardheaded they usually accept it and move on. The ones that are really hardheaded sometimes you have to discourage a bit further. Good Luck
2007-01-27 12:06:10 · answer #3 · answered by summera76 4 · 2⤊ 0⤋
I do not feel morally bound to try and avoid anyone's feelings. If I don't feel the same way about another person I am totally straight and honest with them right up front. If they contiue to persue the issue I will walk away from the friendship altogether.
2007-01-27 12:00:08 · answer #4 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 0⤋
If you don't feel the same way like for example if some girl or woman is really in love with you and you don't feel the same way politely say that you are not looking to get serious about anyone, also say maybe we should cool it for awhile, certainly don't encourage it. If you encorage it and the persons feelings get hurt yes you would be responsible.
2007-01-27 12:02:19 · answer #5 · answered by Mary O 6 · 2⤊ 0⤋
I don't think you're morally bound to be entrapped to avoid hurting a person. Morally, I would say truthfully what you feel in a polite way.
2007-01-27 11:59:15 · answer #6 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 0⤋
Well, it's more complicated than that. When someone is rejected they feel guilty and foolish for their own feelings, so they blame themselves. On the other hand, they may try to stay away just to get over you, which you might misunderstand because you think they 're mad at you.
So it's not your fault, unless you 've been really mean to them.
2007-01-27 12:00:08 · answer #7 · answered by moulin.rouge 3 · 2⤊ 0⤋
I have been in the situation of having strong feelings for a friend and I spoke openly to he/she about it. At the end of the conversation I realised I was just broading my emotions of friendship and accepting a wider range of friends into my life. Nothing to do with love at the end of it (thankfully), just me becoming more acceptable to others.
2007-01-27 12:29:56 · answer #8 · answered by deep in thought 4 · 2⤊ 0⤋
I actually think we are responsible if in any way we have lead a person on. And yes I think (if it happened to me) I would avoid hurting them.
This question is intriguing though. Has this happened to you?
This has never happened to me.
2007-01-27 14:50:23 · answer #9 · answered by : 6 · 2⤊ 0⤋
No one is responsible for another persons emotions, we are, however, entirely reponsible for our own.
Gentle honesty is the key to resolving this. Point out as softly as you can that you don't feel the same way
2007-01-27 12:03:00 · answer #10 · answered by Happy Hobbit 2 · 2⤊ 0⤋