Black women and femininity?

Question

I was watching a movie about Black women in slavery. And they were basically saying that Black women were forced to be independant and were raped and they had to give away their feminity and weren't treated liek women. This is all true. I wa sreading some questions about Black women on Yahoo and all these people were trashing us and calling us unfeminine and said that we have too much attitude. We have to stick up for ourselves more than any other race of women and we have more weight on our shoulders because of our past.Well, i come from a family of almost all women and I was raised to not rely on a man and many of us had to become stronger because there was never a very strong male presence in house but my father. But I'm very sensitive and shy sometimes and my grandmother would always tell me to "not cry and don't be soft because you have to be strong like a man to survive."Do you think it's still hard for some Black women to assert their feminity because of stereotypes?

Answer 1

Yes, we black women do have a heavy load to carry more than other nationalities of women in the U.S. because of what our ancestors had to go through to keep our families together. A lot of black kids grow up without a strong male role model in their homes and we women had to take on the responsibility of being the nurturers and disciplinarians. Now society wants to trash us black women as being too hard, too loud, too ugly to be feminine...well excuse us for trying to keep our heads above water while trying to raise our children by ourselves and never having time to take care ourselves...it is a very tough job! Black women per generation have gotten use to being the bread winners that it is hard for us to let go & to let our men take the lead for once. People assume when they encounter black women that we come off as cold or having an attitude problem, but the fact is this is the strength that our foremothers have passed on to us in order that we may survive the hardships of racial & gender discrimination without going insane.

Answer 2

Well, I'm black but I've always been innately feminine. In fact, most masculine things repel/bore me. However, being feminine is very much a dichotomy. Sometimes it's natural and other times it's learned. But femininity to me is the balance between grace and power. It is controlled expression at a high level. Conceptually, I can describe it best using an example of when I swim. The strength I have to muster for well executed form not only makes me appear elegant, but it also makes me feel the beauty of my physical and inner strength at once. I don't think there's anything in the world that makes me feel this way other than being in water. This is the lesson I would teach my my daughter if I ever have one in understanding what femininity is. Along with teaching conventional characteristics that society would expect her to display.

Answer 3

I wouldn’t blame that on the stereotypes but I do agree that the past plays a big part in that. Slavery has so much to do with the current issues in the black community its unbelievable. Some black women probably struggle with femininity because they were basically taught that they aren’t women (which leads to the whole ‘’lighter is so called better’’ thing ... and black women buying ''white people hair'' weave and etc) on account of slavery. That idea was so strong then, to the point where it passed down through generations…the idea stuck…slavery isn’t that far back in time....It's unfortunate but true :( And Im not saying you’re grandmother is wrong but I think showing emotion is a good thing. It shows you’re HUMAN. I think that whole tough robot exterior that allot of black women have, actually pushes people away...

Continue being who you are comfortable being, its who you are!

Answer 4

Femaleness or femininity has nothing to do with strength and weakness, or hard and softness. But rather is defined by the social environment. What is feminine in Muslim countries may not be feminine in Jewish communities. Somehow we consider women who are soft, weak and obeys the whims of males as feminine. I believe that type of woman is an oppressed tool waiting to be used.

Answer 5

Yes, I do think it's hard for Black women. They are on the horns of a dilemma: to appear weak or feminine for the male ego and to appear strong to survive in an institutionally established racist republic. Because White males are the dominant paradigm, it is impossible for Black men to ever appear anything other than second-best(emasculation); therefore a Black woman, in being feminine has the lessening status of her gender to contend with along with her appearance of being less feminine if she acceeds to the demands of the business world. It's a tough world for Black people in general, but it's worse for women, from both perspectives.

Answer 6

I'm not a black woman, but I'm a woman and I think stength is part of femininity. I don't feel that women were made to be passive and weak. That is a constraint that men have imposed to keep us subserviant. Don't be afraid to show your strength. I know many black women who are strong, independent and beautifully feminine.

Answer 7

I get talked about alot because I am a strong black woman and you know what?? I don't care. I don't care what people say about me because I am the only one who will take care of me and my children. I can only rely on myself and I am all I have. People can judge me all they want, but none of them know why I am the way I am. Until they walk these shoes I'm in, they will never know and I am perfectly fine dealing with their ignorance!

Answer 8

Just because a woman is strong, or has to be strong regardless of her colour....does that mean she is or has to be unfeminine?...no not at all i consider myself to be a strong woman and i tell you i am one of the most feminine ladies you wish to meet...you can be strong and still feminine, one does not cancel out the other... be who you are, and be happy with yourself.

Answer 9

i cant believe u listen to these ppl that trash talk black women. everybody knows that black women are so ****** sexy, and the people who say it isnt, are jealous. people come on here to trash talk other races just to make themselves fill that much better---where in real life they are MISERABLE & UGLY.

Answer 10

If slavery were still a mainstream issue, we would be taking advice from Martha Stewart, not Oprah Winfrey.

From the bottom of my heart, I wish people would let go of the past, recognize what is currently happening and look to a better future. Then there would not be so many hurt feelings!