Our baby was born three months ago and since then my wife is not really interested in getting intimate. Would this have anything to do with it?
2007-01-27 02:20:53 · 15 answers · asked by Anonymous in Pregnancy & Parenting ➔ Newborn & Baby
As a woman who has experience breastfeeding first hand, with two kids, I'm going to say yes.... But I do think it depends on the person...I had a hard time viewing my breasts the way my hubby did... to him they were nice and big and sexy, to me they were full and made me want to go "moo". Your wife may also just be tired, babies that young take a while to get a good routine down, which means mom is losing a lot of sleep. Also, your wife just delivered a baby from the area you desire.... there is some weird psycology involved there....
You want to romance your wife? Do the dishes, the laundry, or anything else that shes sees as a burden in her daily routine. Maybe one day when she has just finished feeding the baby, tell her to go take a nap or a hot bath. Let her know you appreciate her and I guarantee that "those" feelings will come back to her.
HTH
2007-01-27 02:29:13 · answer #1 · answered by Kat 5 · 3⤊ 0⤋
Absolutely 10000% YES!!!!! I have had 3 children and breastfed all of them. What happens is when the baby sucks on the nipple, it causes the uterus to contract which releases little pulses of Oxytocin into the bloodstream. It is like a natural euphoric drug. It is saying to your wife's body that she doesn't need sex because that need is being fulfilled by the baby. I believe that it was intended to be that way so that the Mother will naturally bond with the baby.
I know it is difficult. my husband nearly DIED!!
It will be a sacrifice, but if you care about your wife and baby, then you will just need to go without or find some other outlet for a while. The benefits of breastfeeding so much outweigh the negatives.
It will eventually come back (although probably not to the level it was before the baby, and this is totally normal.)
I am sorry to hear about the situation, but hang in there.
2007-01-27 04:59:42 · answer #2 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
Honestly the hormones are still changing and typically causes some vaginal dryness therefore it's harder to get turned on and it isn't as prevelant. Also, there are so many things on a new mother's mind. If you want her to give you some alone time, I would start by reassuring her what a wonderful job she is doing as a new mom and how you love to see her doing it. Maybe try stimulating her a little more than normal and have a water based lubricant ready. My husband and I are learning that sex is also now for non conventional times as opposed to the norm being when we wake up or go to sleep. Try early afternoon when the baby takes his long nap. You will both be more awake and rested and take comfort in the fact that the baby is taken care. Fed, changed, and rested. Good luck.
2007-01-27 03:09:09 · answer #3 · answered by pinky 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
She is probably exhausted dealing with a newborn who is very needy. It can be draining being a new mom of a young baby. Try pampering her some. Help her around the house....honestly nothing sexier than a man doing dishes! Offer to watch the baby while she soaks in a warm bubble bath or give her a massage. Being attentive to her in a non-sexual, no strings attached kind of way may help her to feel more relaxed, less like everyone depends on her for everything, and more likely to get in the mood. At only 3 mos PP, her hormones are probably still a wreck as well. Sometimes moms are kind of dry when breastfeeding, so when you do try to get intimate, use lots of lube (Astroglide is good) and go slowly. Little tip.....don't try to start foreplay with her breasts. If she's nursing, she might feel like, "great.....someone else who only wants me for my boobs" if you try to start there. We had a rule in our house, "don't start there.....but you can go there eventually."
2007-01-27 05:04:19 · answer #4 · answered by momma2mingbu 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Sure blame the breastfeeding, that makes sense.
Because formula feeding moms of infants have sex every night!
Seriously how much do you help her out around the house? How much are you around? How much sleep is she getting?
Even if it is the breastfeeding (which it probably isn't, though breastfeeding can cause vaginal dryness) what kind of person would take away the perfect food for baby for some fun in the sack? Your baby comes first!
"Men sometimes don't understand how doing chores around the home can help them become quite attractive: clearing dinner dishes without being asked, folding a load of laundry, and filling the car's gas tank. You might tell your husband how taking over some of these tasks might help rekindle your desire and help you preserve your energy.
If you feel your level of exhaustion and lack of interest in sex is out of the norm, you might consider a checkup with your health care professional. Some health concerns common among postpartum women can affect libido, and they can be identified with a few blood tests."
"While breastfeeding, you may have more or less sexual desire. All people experience highs and lows in their desire at different stages in their life."
http://www.lalecheleague.org/FAQ/intimacy.html
100 Ways to Get the Romance Back in Your Relationship
http://parenting.ivillage.com/newborn/nmomcare/0,,43z4,00.html
2007-01-27 02:34:26 · answer #5 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 1⤋
I think the whole having a new baby thing might have something to do with it! She must be worn out!
I don't know how much you do to help out, but how about looking after the baby all evening, letting her have a nice relaxing bath on her own and she might just feel a bit more like getting intimate again :-)
2007-01-27 02:25:53 · answer #6 · answered by Xenophonix 3 · 3⤊ 0⤋
It has nothing to do with breastfeeding. Its having a new baby that does it. It took me a long time to get my sex drive back. I was exhausted from taking care of the baby. Sex was the last thing on my mind.
2007-01-27 02:31:30 · answer #7 · answered by Blondi 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
No its because she just not ready. It can 6 months or longer before a women comes around to it again depending on how much damage was done during birth. My daughter has just had a baby and was torn inside quite badly so she will not be having sex for ages and even then will be too damned tied to think about it. Be patient most fathers have to wait some time.
2007-01-27 02:27:25 · answer #8 · answered by Anonymous · 3⤊ 0⤋
Three months may seem like an eternity to you, but probably not to her. Having a baby just wears you out. Your body goes through hormonal changes, you need time to heal and you are tired from sleep deprivation just to name a few.
Talk to her about how you are feeling, give her a chance to do the same. I hope you can come to a solution :0)
2007-01-27 03:03:13 · answer #9 · answered by Beatlegirl 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
In my expierience breastfeeding increased my sex drive. When you nurse your brain releases the hormone oxytosin and it tightens your uterus back up and also has a wonderful soothing effect on the brain. When I feel relaxed and peacefdul that leads me to feeling sexy.I never felt sexual stimulation by the act of nursing but I've talked to some woman who reached climax from nursing.Sounds wierd. I guess mother nature needed to be sure we'd feed our babies.
2007-01-27 02:34:33 · answer #10 · answered by Clover 3 · 1⤊ 0⤋