Here is my situation.....I have this "friend" who I have known since high school. In the early stages of our so called friendship everything appeared "cool" and we would hang out almost on a daily basis but I always had the idea in my head that things were too good to be true. Over time though I started to convince myself that maybe she might be a legit friend. Lately though it seems that the only time we hang is when she needs a favor or a ride somewhere. Im strongly starting to believe now that we are only friends because I have a car and money. Now I'm the type of person that if I feel that someone is being shady then I will call them out on it. The only problem that I have with the "being blunt" tactic is that if I'm wrong then it makes me look like an *** and I destroy a friendship. What is the best way to handle this situation?
2007-01-27 01:53:29 · 8 answers · asked by Cash_Money757 1 in Family & Relationships ➔ Other - Family & Relationships
I think we all pretty much know when someone is using us or not but, maybe we don't want to admit it sometimes cause when we admit it we then need to do something about it. If you feel this way and this person IS really your friend i think you should be able to talk this out. Not acuse them but talk to them and tell them your inner feelings on this matter and let them know your telling them becuase YOU value your friendship with her.
2007-01-31 15:50:47 · answer #1 · answered by sammy 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Sorry, I don't agree with talking it out because if she is a user, she will just get pissed off anyway. The best way is to outsmart. You must use your head. Next time she asks you to take her somewhere, just say "Sure, do you have some money for gas, the gas is kinda running low?" Or "You buy and I fly" with a big smile on your face. If she says she doesn't have any money then say,
"Bummer! now we can't go!" You gotta kinda make it go like that.
Whenever she wants something you gotta just plain as day throw it in there what you want back for the favor. Just like it's normal. If she asks to borrow money; "Oh didn't I tell you about my New Year's Resolution? Yeah, I'm not loaning money to anybody anymore." Or just one day start telling a story about a "friend" of yours (of course you are making the story up) and how sorry you feel for this "friend" because she is always getting used by this girl who is only her friend because she has money and a car. Believe me, she will get the message. You could even tell her your cousin called you and told you the story.
2007-01-31 17:47:23 · answer #2 · answered by themerchantprincess 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
You have to back off a bit from the friendship and see what happens. I had a friend who took advantage of me for ages before I seen the light. It started off as small things like "can you bring me over a pack of cigarettes when you're coming, I've run out". And then would "accidentally" forget to pay me for them, and to avoid conflict I would let the incident go. Then it was bigger things like if we were out shopping "oh I haven't enough money to buy this sweater, can you loan me the rest?" And I'd never see the money again. I eventually broke away from her, and it was the best thing I ever did. I saw her for what she really was - a user. No this may not be the case in your situation, but keep a close eye out for more signs, and follow your instinct or ask for another friend's opinion. It may be time to turn your back on this friendship once and for all. But don't do anything too hastily!
2007-01-27 02:01:22 · answer #3 · answered by Megafunk 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
If your feeling like this then it must partly be true. the easy way to resolve this is to start saying NO a little more often. How she responds will tell you if shes a true friend or not. trust me. iv been there. my friend drives herself now and i aint seen her since the day she passed her test. Yup and that was 4 months ago.
2007-01-27 02:08:02 · answer #4 · answered by -xjjx- 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
give them the cold sholder and dont talk to them and if they do it just flipp your middle finger up and keep it there for a little while then walk away in scilance
2007-02-02 18:46:31 · answer #5 · answered by dreamer 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Confront her with it in a nice way. If she is truly a friend she will understand where you are coming from.
2007-01-27 03:56:30 · answer #6 · answered by ctsnowmiss 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
very carefully especially if you like her present a situation where you cant drive or cant pay and see how she responds
2007-01-27 01:59:00 · answer #7 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
by taking advantage of one of their close ones
and showing them what you did or
just rape em and
let them figure it out on their own.
2007-01-27 02:13:38 · answer #8 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋