Here is my situation.....I have this "friend" who I have known since high school. In the early stages of our so called friendship everything appeared "cool" and we would hang out almost on a daily basis but I always had the idea in my head that things were too good to be true. Over time though I started to convince myself that maybe she might be a legit friend. Lately though it seems that the only time we hang is when she needs a favor or a ride somewhere. Im strongly starting to believe now that we are only friends because I have a car and money. Now I'm the type of person that if I feel that someone is being shady then I will call them out on it. The only problem that I have with the "being blunt" tactic is that if I'm wrong then it makes me look like an *** and I destroy a friendship. What is the best way to handle this situation?
2007-01-27 01:52:43 · 9 answers · asked by Cash_Money757 1 in Family & Relationships ➔ Friends
Unfortunately, it sounds like you will have to test this friendship.
The best way is to make up a valid excuse to not do her a favor the next time she asks but during that same conversation ask her to do a favor for you?
Alternatively, you can always just starting to ask for gas money which will make you feel less taken advantage of.
Either way, you are going to have to start taking steps to not feel used.
Sorry if this sounds mean, but "being blunt" only works with certain personalities who can always not make it sound as bad as it is. Otherwise, it comes off as passive aggressive.
Hope she isn't using you!
2007-02-03 20:14:07 · answer #1 · answered by ladiorange 2 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Does she have a boyfriend? If you believe strongly that you are being used, you should just ask why is it you only hang out when she's in need but be subtle, being blunt is ok with people you know are shady and are trying to pull a fast one on you. If she is any true friend she'll come out and tell you she has been busy with her boyfriend, girlfriend what ever the case is or maybe you've grown apart?
2007-01-27 02:03:18 · answer #2 · answered by John S 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I don't have alot of money but I'm very giving and at times people I trust have taken advantage of me. Other times I may have been in a trying relationship that included a lot of jealousy. Or maybe she's started using drugs. It sounds to me like you still may have a true friend who's possibly going through some changes they aren't ready to share about yet. If they are a true friend, you can discuss this openly with them. Let them know you've noticed a difference in them, but try not to go around throwing accusations.
2007-02-03 22:08:13 · answer #3 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
Make yourself less available and stop doing favors every time she asks. When do you ever call her? And when you do, does she respond to your requests or is she too busy all the time. Friendship is about give and take, and as long as they are in balance most of the time, I don't really see a problem. But there will be times in all friendships where one friend seems to take more than they give, especially if anything is happening in their lives.
2007-01-27 02:01:53 · answer #4 · answered by ? 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
You may want to start saying no when the favor is asked. You don't have to give a reason, just say "I've decided that is not in the best interest of our friendship." That persons response will tell it all.
If they say "some friend you are" or something like that and quit contacting you then you know you were just being used.
If they say "okay" or "maybe your right" and they keep in contact then you know you may have a friendship worth keeping.
2007-01-27 01:59:53 · answer #5 · answered by thankyou "iana" 6 · 0⤊ 1⤋
You do what you have to do, not to be used. You see exactly what is going on, if you continue to allow it then you will be a "used" friend. You can find other friends who will be your friend just for you being you, not for what you can do or give to them, cut her lose, move on. The best way to deal with it is to make it known how you fell and let the chips fall where they man. God Bless.
2007-02-03 21:19:34 · answer #6 · answered by Bethy4 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
One thing I have learnt in life.
If you let people take advantage of you, they will.
Stop doing favours for her. Stop taking her places.
Maybe ask a favour or two from her and see if she steps up.
I hope that everything works out. It's hard losing a freind.
2007-02-04 00:32:53 · answer #7 · answered by originalpuppycat 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Hey I have had these things happen to me before and I have learned that its all a matter of trust .But remember you cant let people manipulate you.
2007-02-04 01:43:55 · answer #8 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
start making reasons why you're too busy to lend cash or a ride every now and then. if she stops coming around asking.....
2007-01-27 01:56:46 · answer #9 · answered by rachel 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋