I've been unhappily married for many years, and "should have" gotten a divorce 9-10 years ago. Now things are really complicated as I untangle myself from this mess.
Still, I have been imagining what it will feel like to get back out there again and meet smart, attractive guys -- it's been waaay too long since I've had anything going on ;) Then, I realized -- what if all these smart, attractive guys are already married or don't want a 40YO woman! !!??!! Panic attack!
Is it time for me to face some harsh realities or are there really some decent (and sexy :) guys still out there????
2007-01-27 01:50:33 · 20 answers · asked by Wondering 4 in Family & Relationships ➔ Marriage & Divorce
To answer the am I attractive and sexy question: I can't tell, but people tell me I'm attractive and say stuff in joking like, "I wish you were my teacher." (I'm a teacher.) So, I guess I'm not overly hideous :)
2007-01-27 02:02:45 · update #1
You'll find lots of guys girlfriend! There are plenty going through what you are right now. Keep a positive approach if you feel you are truly ready for the romance thing I say GO FOR IT. Besides the dating game is fun. You've been out of it so long you forgot the butterfly feelings all together. It's the best finding a new love or loves for that matter. Age is just a number - are you youthful inside? And the part about being a Mom is the best part of all. Your kid/kids will get to see you truly happy. The new man in your life may have some kids as well. It will be a big Brady Bunch theme going on. I know a lady that has been divorced three times and she has 5 kids. She presents herself so nice the men just fall madly in love with her, not caring if she had kids or not. It's time for you to have some fun-Enjoy!
2007-01-27 02:12:50 · answer #1 · answered by Happy Bunny to the rescue! 4 · 1⤊ 0⤋
I am 40 almost 41 and I just got divorced for the second time. I have a daughter that is 2 and now that I am single again I know how you feel. But when I look at some of the 40 year old fat lazy type guys I feel good that I didn't let myself go. There are older single men that still look good and will be interested in a more mature woman who has their house in order. At first just take of yourself and the kids, the relationship thing will happen all by itself. Especially if you are an outgoing positive thinking hoty !
2007-01-27 02:02:06 · answer #2 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 1⤋
Honey, I was in the same boat as you five years ago. Yes there are smart attractive ones out there but they are hard to find and you may just have to face the cold hard truth as I did. Sounds like you need a man in your life to feel worthy. Well honey I am here to tell you that you dont. Go to psychiatrist and get to the bottom of why you are afraid of being alone. I have been alone all this time now and have finally come to the conclusion that it really is ok to live alone and find myself and find my own happiness instead of relying on someone else to make me happy, or staying in an unsatisfying relationship just so I wont be alone. Go ahead girl, Go out there and build yourself up and get on with a new life. It will hurt for awhile but you can make a choice to make the best of it. If you stay you will just be prolonging the agony, perhaps, forever. So what now my dear? Stay miserable, or get happy. The choice is yours.
2007-01-27 02:05:47 · answer #3 · answered by Anonymous · 2⤊ 1⤋
There are plenty of guys out there that would be happy to have you. Don't be afraid of the unknown. Don't let that keep you from moving forward with your life. You don't want to keep on and look back 5 more years down the road and have regret that you didn't follow through.
You need to get to the realization that you have two choices:
1- Stay in your comfort zone and be unhappy.
2- Take a risk and have possibly a really happy future. Anyone that is successful takes risk.
Personally I would rather be alone and content then in a relationship and unhappy. Good luck!
2007-01-27 02:03:02 · answer #4 · answered by You Don't Know Me! 4 · 2⤊ 1⤋
If you are "smart and attractive" you should have no trouble attracting "smart and attractive" guys. As we all grow older, we all mature to some extent. Unless you are the "mom" of 10 or 12 kids, there should be few issues with you being a mother with you finding someone compatible. I must state again that without seeing a picture of you... if you have what it takes to attract some decent (and sexy) guys... there are many still out there....
2007-01-27 01:58:01 · answer #5 · answered by BartenderWJT 2 · 1⤊ 1⤋
Does your husband beat you? Does he abuse you? Does he abuse your kids or neglect them in any way? Or are you just another middle aged house wife who's willing to put her kids through hell by divorcing their father because you would rather start dating again?
My advice is stay married for the sake of your kids because THEY should be your number one priority. Remain a family and keep up appearances until after they ALL move out without the slightest clue. THEN get divorced and do your thing. Until then feel free find a couple of guys on the side who are mature enough to handle a discrete affair with an unhappily married woman, and don't let anybody find out about it. Chances are it's what your husband is already doing.
2007-01-27 03:57:08 · answer #6 · answered by ? 4 · 0⤊ 3⤋
Aren't your standards a little high?
Anyway, the thing you must think through first is what you really want in a man instead of how his face will look. Beside teaching, what are your interests and hobbies. To find a good man you will be trying to go to the places you would find people with similar interests. I enjoy swimming and hiking. Whenever I go hiking, I often meet a few women to talk to as we hike through the forest trails near my home.
2007-01-27 03:20:57 · answer #7 · answered by A dad & a teacher 5 · 0⤊ 1⤋
well your question is not a yes or no. There are guys in your age range who never got married, which there is a reason for that. There are guys who use to be married, and they have baggage, and there are married men. Of course if you just want a fling(s) there are 25 to 35 year old men who would be into that, but that would be all they were after.
2007-01-27 02:24:52 · answer #8 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 1⤋
Not many. Lots of losers so be careful. Don't get in a big hurry and find things you enjoy doing and if you meet a man while doing these fun things maybe it would be worth a chance but stay out of the bars!
2007-01-27 02:02:44 · answer #9 · answered by 55 and trying 5 · 0⤊ 1⤋
I am 40 and met my fiance (47) on line. Without sounding stuck up, I consider myself smart and attractive, and same for her. So give it a try. By the way, we met on line in the dominoes game room and exchanged phone #'s and have been together now for 2 yrs.Anything is possible if only you believe.
2007-01-27 02:00:22 · answer #10 · answered by Anonymous · 3⤊ 1⤋