Help! Husband spends too much money? How to budget?

Question

My husband is a full-time student and I am the main breadwinner right now. I like to enjoy treats and nights out once in awhile, however I feel like he is out of control and it makes me resentful. I handle all of the finances and bill paying because I actually enjoy it, and he gets frustrated with numbers. He will often spend over $500 a month on extras, CDs, DVDs, Lunches out. I buy things occasionally, but I pack a lunch and limit myself to $50 a month for something extra for me. I have tried asking him to set a limit but he thinks I am trying to be controling and says he hates that he has to ask for money. I would not mind if he bought a DVD here and there or even went out to lunch once a week, but his spending habits are killing us!! I have been postponing a vacation because we can't save enough. I feel a little cheated, I work very hard and work like to enjoy things more too, when I tell him this he says i need to loosen up and just enjoy, spend whatever, but I just don't feel

that I can do that, because it would really put us in a tight spot with both of us spending like that. I am scared to just hand the bills over to him for a month so he will understand, because I think it would mess things up. He even questioned me the other day because we had X amount of money in the checking on Tuesday and by Friday it was $800 less. I explained to him I paid car payments, insurance and rent, and that just because the balance slip says a number that does not mean that that is what we have available. He just doesnt get it and is very defensive about this. How can I get it through to him without being a nag or a control freak. I feel like I am pretty calm and reasonable but if I give him an inch he goes crazy! Help

I should add that I do love my husband very much and he is wonderful to me. He just doesnt grasp the money concept. I think some of it comes from the fact that he is an only chold from a wealthy family. I have 4 siblings and a lower middle class family. His point is he wants us both to spend and have whatever we want. My point is this is not reasonable at this point.

Maxxx for your info, he has a degree already, but is going back for 2 semesters to get his masters, schooling is not the problem.

Answer 1

I would try to fully explain the finances. Tell him you need X amount of money just to cover the bills. You need Y amount of money to save. Which leaves Z amount of money for extras.

Keep your current checking account for the extras (Z).

Then open another checking account for bills (X) only. Get only one card and checks for that account so you can pay bills with it. Don't let him have access to the bills only account. You don't want to deplete that money.

Have 2 savings accounts. One for future savings and one for vacation savings (Y). Don't let him have access to that either.

IF he really cares about your situation as a couple and doesn't want to end up living check to check he will understand. He should be grateful that you care not to let you both go down in major debt.

Good Luck!

Answer 2

If you are the wage earner and him a full time student. Set him down and explain to him what you see as acceptable and not acceptable. With him being from a well to do family he is going to have a hard time grasping this. Let him know that if he doesn't compromise that you will do it for him, and remove him from the checking account, or just let him know that there is enough in the account for the basics then put the rest into savings. Unless he's an idiot he should understand what's going on.

Answer 3

If you are the breadwinner and he doesn't bring any money into the household, I suggest to keep your bank account only in your name. You will have control of the money and this will help cool him off from being a spend thrift. If he won't agree to this it might be time to use forceful tactics like saying, "If you continue to spend and spend, I might consider moving in with a friend or mom." Sometimes a little scare wakes a person up. If your love for him is becoming less, perhaps the two of you should go to a financial counselor or marriage counselor. Unfortunately, my ex wife did the same thing and now I have a new one.

Answer 4

Tell him which would he hate the most, asking for spending money or begging for money for food? At this rate, he'll have you both in the poor house. Keep controlling the money, if it reaches his hands he will blow every cent of it.

Answer 5

If that's how he feels then tell him he needs to get a part time job to support his needs and wants that you are not allowing him to dig you guys a whole that takes forever to get out of once in there. 50/50 remember.

Answer 6

You should have married a man who is done schooling.

Answer 7

He's a freeloader.