This question is about my husband. He is the one with the close friendship. He emails her 5 and 6 times a day and talks to her on the phone atleast 2 or 3 times a week. He invites her to his jam sessions. He invites me to but I just don't see it as normal to invite her. She is going through a divorce and she found him on myspace. She is his ex-girlfriend from high school not serious girlfriend though. He did not prosue the friendship and thought it was getting wierd until she said she didn't mean anything by it. He than believed her. I just don't see it as ok to have a close friend that you talk to that much through email and phone and oh instant messagner too. It was getting in the way of alot of things. He was being secretive it seemed even if he didn't mean to be. HELP
2007-01-27 01:18:25 · 16 answers · asked by Mrs. Zepol Nives 2 in Family & Relationships ➔ Other - Family & Relationships
I don't think that's normal and I would put an end to it. It's almost like there's you, your husband and her now in your marriage. She's going through a divorce granted and your husband is her ex, she could be very emotional right now, BUT your husband should NOT be her support.
I would expect him to be emailing you 5/6 times a day and calling you all the time.
I would let your husband know your concerns, if he doesn't back down, get HER details and tell her to back off and go and find another shoulder to cry on. Cold and harsh but you'd be saving your marraige from trouble, because that's what she is, TROUBLE.
2007-01-27 01:24:24 · answer #1 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
Although weshould be able to have friends of the opposite sex, sometimes it's just not worth risking your marriage. Yes, everyone should not feel insecure and jealous, but we all know everyone has a little bit of that in each of us. I had a friendship with another man while I was married and I saw what it did to my husband. I finally thought about it through his eyes and how I would react on certain issues that came up. Although innocent it may have been, it didt look that way through another's eyes. I kno how it feels when your "other" gives his attention to someone other than you, it hurts. You start thinking..."He never calls me that much, he never sends me an email" The only thing I can suggest is have a REAL sit down heart to heart with him. Communication. You be talking to him, he should be talking to you. I hope this all works out for you
2007-01-27 01:26:51 · answer #2 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
Tell your hubby your feelings and see what reaction he has: if he ignores you, there's a bigger problem that the other chick; if he listens while looking at you straight in the eye but downplays it, judge how sincere he is -- if his eyes wonder around, I would conclude he is hiding something and you should be too uncomfortable with the situation, particularly all the emails, and ask him to gently blow her off; if he seem sincere, he should offer a compromise and let her listen to the music but cut out the emails...,then, let it play out but monitor closely as, in my humble opinion, this is classic case of playing with fire. As a guy in the creative arts, I would want people to listen to my music but a single chick and email sounds dangerous.
2007-01-27 01:34:51 · answer #3 · answered by Geoffrey V 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Even if innocent, it does seem like a bit much. Can you ask him to cool it? If you both attend the "jam sessions", then get to know her, and possibly get her attracted to someone else. It could also be that she considers your husband as a "safe" person to talk to, as he is married, and working at it.
2007-01-27 01:23:59 · answer #4 · answered by Beau R 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
tell him that he cant talk to her on my space or messenger any more. If he wants her to go along for the jam sessions then tell him that shes only aloud to be invited if you are present-tell him its not very nice of him to talk to the other woman that much,demand that you be involved in there conversations when they do speak over the phone or on the net. stand your ground girl.
2007-01-27 01:25:24 · answer #5 · answered by sissy 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
This is not normal and you need to discuss this with your husband.Hope you dont have kids as if this gets serious then you might need to look at separation for a while.He can then decide who he really wants in his life - his devoted wife and partner or an ex girlfriend.
2007-01-27 01:39:55 · answer #6 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
well i hate to say it but its not worth it he needs to give up the too close friendship or stay with the woman that he married he doesn't deserve to have you in his life knowing you put up with that if my husband had the opportunity that you have i would tell him not to hesitate and go for it
Your Friend the opposite
Blue Buttefrly
2007-01-27 01:43:33 · answer #7 · answered by BLUE BUTTERFLY 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Well I was going to say it was ok until I read the part where you mentioned he is being secretive and that she is an ex.In general it's ok because you should be able to trust each other.But that's weird if he is being secretive about it.
2007-01-27 01:27:40 · answer #8 · answered by J♥R♥R 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
you must confront your hubby,what's the real thing about them in a nice way,if not you're the one hurting yourself by getting jealous all the time they do the talks and everything
2007-01-27 01:28:12 · answer #9 · answered by criz 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
yes, its totally good for people who are married to have friends, either sex.
if they are not getting at home, its ok for them to jump on each each other for fun once in awhile too
2007-01-27 01:22:58 · answer #10 · answered by kurticus1024 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋