I was trying for a baby, but i lost it at four weeks. i know its not quite a baby, but its realy upset me. but what as upset me more my partner does not know. theres a few problems at the moment going on in our lives that are realy effecting my partner. he is suffering depression, though his ex. he has twins who are 2 she doesnt care about and is takeing it out on him. i dont know what to do. i'm trying to be strong for him but inside it hurts with what all this is doing to him. i cant tell him about losing the baby it will kill him. he s now saying he doesnt know if he still wants to try. what i mess. what do i do?
2007-01-27 00:42:29 · 4 answers · asked by Anonymous in Family & Relationships ➔ Marriage & Divorce
I want to talk about his problems first. He needs to seek good legal council. Many lawyers will listen to your case before charging you any money. He can get these problems cleared up faster and a lot easier if he has a lawyer.
For your problem...
I completely understand how you feel. My wife lost our first baby after 2 months. Its (I don't think I could have handled knowing if it was a boy or a girl.) heart stopped and it died. It was probably the worst time of my life, especially when EVERYONE felt that it was even a real child yet. I had to handle my depression with no one to support me. My family lives 10,000km away, and my wife didn't understand how I felt. You should not have to go through such a thing by yourself. You feel hurt because it was your baby. It doesn't matter to you if it was 4 weeks or 4 months. You really need to talk to someone. Do you have family or a really close friend that will understand? Keeping it bottled up will hurt too much. I feel from what you said that your partner would understand. Telling him might be something that you might have to do if you have no one else to talk to.
2007-01-27 01:49:14 · answer #1 · answered by A dad & a teacher 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
This is one of the problems of pregnancy tests that give results so early.
Some estimates run as high as NINETY percent of pregnancies lead to miscarriage. Most within the first few weeks and the woman never even knew she was pregnant.
I know being told "it happens all the time" doesn't help you, but you need to be strong. It is one of the bum-deals that life hands you. These kinds of things will happen again. We have all been through either your situation or something similar at some point. It shouldn't discourage you from continuing to try.
If he doesn't want to try anymore and has depression though, you might want to hold off for a while.
Well, if he knew you were pregnant you are obviously going to have to tell him at some point. If he didn't, you can chose not to tell him, but if you don't tell him now, never tell him. I mean, ever.
2007-01-27 02:05:51 · answer #2 · answered by fucose_man 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
im sorry to hear that you lost the baby.
i would say for the moment, put your feelings to aside and support your fella. help him through his problems and talk to him, it really helps to get things off your chest. let him know that when he's ready to talk to someone, you'll be there.
obviously grieve for your loss as you have feelings too, but not in front of him as it'll make him worse.
i really think you should talk though as if youre relationship isnt going anywhere, you dont need to be unhappy too. decide between yourselves where things are going and if they can move forward and leave things in past.
good luck
2007-01-27 00:55:55 · answer #3 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
you need to tell him, and you need help dealing with your lose, but you shouldn't be the only going thru this.
2007-01-27 00:57:39 · answer #4 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋