I have been married for 5 years and we have a 1 yr daughter, I am very unhappy in this marriage.
I make over 100k a year while he sits at home for 1 year without a job while I support the whole family and pay 1500.00 a month in childcare as he will not even take care of the kid.
We do not eat together, sleep in the same bed and really never in the same room, he saids he is only still here cause of the kid.
No! it's cause he is a free loaded. I have told him to leave and he saids I have to leave, pay him allimony/child support and loss my daughter as he is mentaly ill-he claims.
I am in Virginia so the laws favor the man....When I spoke to a few people they said I should go to a womans shelter-why should I go there while I make over 100k a year-I have no reason to be homeless.
2007-01-27 00:17:37 · 9 answers · asked by Just unhappy 1 in Family & Relationships ➔ Marriage & Divorce
Extra Details:
In the state where I reside (Virginia) if I leave the house it's called Spousal abandonment and if I take the baby along it's worse...what they say is we both have to live in the house untill the judge decides who must leave and have temp.custody of the child-I am afraid of him while I have to live in the same house while court going on-the lawyer said my only hope is get a temp restraining order,file charges,etc-I do not want alot of drama- just want a peaceful end, is it possible and how?
Yes , in this state even if he does not work he will get half and maybe allimony.
He used to work and make alittle bit less than me but last year came home and said I quit and want to take some time off-like 3 to 6 months- now it's been 13 months!!!!
2007-01-27 01:46:02 · update #1
Ask around and find a really vicious lawyer with a good reputation. It seems that your lawyer is more sympathetic to him than to you. It does not matter what the law states. If you have a great lawyer they can turn your husband into a cruel mentally ill man who has NO rights to his daughter. Your lawyer, if he/she is good, will be able to show that he married you for your money and deserves no alimony. If you cry spousal abuse, which is easy for a woman, you will probably be allowed to have him kept at a distance until the whole mess is settled. I know that you don't want to make a scene, but you also don't want him to get your money, and most importantly, your daughter. Remember, if you file for divorce, he is going to get the best lawyer and try to get everything you own, including your daughter. If you try to be civilized about this, do you think he will, too?
2007-01-27 02:14:18 · answer #1 · answered by A dad & a teacher 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
File for divorce and take your child with you. you will not lose your child to someone who is Mentally ill. If he is truly mentally ill, then he will probably be lucky to get supervised visitation.
You may have to pay him alimony, but find yourself a good lawyer and maybe you won't even have to do that. My cousin is a doctor and his ex wife is a drug abuser. The judge originally gave custody to her even with all of her issues. Until she failed 6 court appointed drug tests, then he finally turned custody over to him. The point is, judges will not take a child away from it's mother simply because she isn't happy in her marriage to her freeloading husband. He just doesn't want to lose his sugarmama. That's why he's making those threats. Leave him and see what happens. I bet you will be a lot happier. Make sure you mention the fact that you have to take your child to daycare because he claims he isn't able to take care of the child while you work. All you need are receipts and you have your proof. The judge will be on your side....
2007-01-27 08:32:26 · answer #2 · answered by Spacey 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Tell him that you want a divorce with full custody. Get a lawyer to draw up the papers and tell him to leave. Whoever pays the bills gets to stay. Yes, he'll get you on ailimony or something. I'd talk to a lawyer before even mentioning the divorce. Let him advise you first. Do not leave without your daughter or you'll lose her. Good luck.
2007-01-27 08:24:34 · answer #3 · answered by noitall 4 · 1⤊ 0⤋
To take control you need to strike the first blow to keep him on the defensive. If you make that kind of money you should be able to get a, lets say better than average lawyer, and get the ball rolling. You're obviously an intelligent person so go for it.
2007-01-27 16:08:02 · answer #4 · answered by oldokie1 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
The problem is all inside your head
She said to me
The answer is easy if you
Take it logically
I’d like to help you in your struggle
To be free
There must be fifty ways
To leave your lover
She said it’s really not my habit
To intrude
Furthermore, I hope my meaning
Won’t be lost or misconstrued
But I’ll repeat myself
At the risk of being crude
There must be fifty ways
To leave your lover
Fifty ways to leave your lover
You just slip out the back, Jack
Make a new plan, Stan
You don’t need to be coy, Roy
Just get yourself free
Hop on the bus, Gus
You don’t need to discuss much
Just drop off the key, Lee
And get yourself free
She said it grieves me so
To see you in such pain
I wish there was something I could do
To make you smile again
I said I appreciate that
And would you please explain
About the fifty ways
She said why don’t we both
Just sleep on it tonight
And I believe in the morning
You’ll begin to see the light
And then she kissed me
And I realized she probably was right
There must be fifty ways
To leave your lover
Fifty ways to leave your lover
2007-01-27 08:27:33 · answer #5 · answered by thelovebuzzard 4 · 0⤊ 1⤋
boy this one is hard the first thing is did you know that this guy was a looser from the first or did he just turn in to one.The first thing that comes to mind is just move out don't tell him your moving just move.the other side of me says set him up your a smart girl you can think of something.
You keep saying that you have the money use it.
P.S.
i wish i had some body like you.
good luck. love you
2007-01-27 08:30:54 · answer #6 · answered by the black hand 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
how can they take his side when he dont even work how would he support the child.get the courts to put him out or change your locks pack his stuff.you and your daughter deserve better.
2007-01-27 09:28:45 · answer #7 · answered by houney 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
you should speak plainly how you feel, and that you can't stand him anymore: I think he needs a lesson, he must learn ho to face up to his responsibilities. Teach him how to do.
2007-01-27 08:32:30 · answer #8 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
kick him out... change the locks... and get yourself someone better....
2007-01-27 08:21:36 · answer #9 · answered by Forlorn Hope 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋