My husband and I have been seperated for 1 month. We had some problems before, and just before Christmas he moved 5 hours away to live with his dad. My daughter and I were left with nothing. He told me that he was not ready for a stepchild and being a husband. I went to the courthouse to get a selfdivorce kit, typed it up and send it 2 him. He seemed fine with it, even encouraging me to go out and meet someone, saying in his own words that I could do better, because he is mentally unstable and medicated. It hurt me alot, but I forced myself to move on. At first I lost 10 lbs and just layed around crying. Then someone on myspace asked me out 2 dinner. I went. It was so innoncent, just dinners and talks. Yesterday my husband hacked into my yahoo and myspace account & read the emails that this guy has been writing. He freaked out, and said that he wanted me&my daughter back, but now he thinks that I did adultery, and he never wants to see me again. I didnt have sex with n e 1 !
2007-01-26 23:52:48 · 18 answers · asked by Anonymous in Family & Relationships ➔ Marriage & Divorce
He was caught in many lies during & before the marriage but I forgave him. He said "U know how I do, we break up and get back 2 gether" I said, no...We were serious, and U told people that I wasnt the 1...what do you expect me to do. But I have not slept with any one, and he doesnt believe me. He said that I am taintet. I even told him that I would take a lie detector test to profe it. Then he said that he was gonna repropose to me and take me on the honeymoon we never had, but that it was my fault now that the marriage is over...But the marriage was already over. We were living 5 hours apart, he didnt support us, even when I said I had no place to go, he said that he was sorry and that he just needed to b alone. He has cheated on me in the past, but claims that during the 6 month marriage he didnt !
2007-01-26 23:58:36 · update #1
Your partner didnt want you, he left - he has no right to be angry that you saw someone else - even if you had sex with him. Your partner is being unreasonable and using this as an excuse as it sounds like he wants you and your child back but doesnt know how to say sorry and ask for you back. Talk to him. But know what you want first, do you want to get back together?
2007-01-26 23:57:48 · answer #1 · answered by Maya 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Call and talk with him and see if he still wants you and this marriage or not... Is he planning on working with you and coming back home soon to you and your daughter??? Has he abandoned you? I can feel your pain as i have been through this in the past.... My second husband abandoned me within the first six months of marriage with NO intent of ever coming back... I was very sad and could not stop crying... I learned to let him go to God and move on with my life without him but this took time and healing. I feel in this case you need to file for divorce and once the divorce is final then move on with the guy you are chatting with.... File on the grounds of abandonment.... Seems to me your husband is looking for any excuse and reason to get out and away from you and this marriage. How is it adultery if he was not living or dwelling with you as a husband?
http://www.marriagetoday.org
http://www.drphil.com
2007-01-27 08:09:47 · answer #2 · answered by Lady Hewitt 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
You could do better, a lot better. This guy is probably a control freak or just plain wants to play with others and want you when he's down on his luck. Divorce him and move on and get the child support order in court. If he don't want to live with you he has no right to tell you anything or expect any thin from you. Hope this helps. Also you can be sure that he is getting some on the side, why can't you?
2007-01-27 08:06:57 · answer #3 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
My heart goes out to you, really you are in a tough place.
Honestly from what it sounds like, I am know there is a lot more to the story than you can summarise, he is confused. He doesn’t want you then the next he does. To be honest your daughter needs to see you put yourself first, find someone who can make you and your daughter a priority in their life and never settle for being an option.
I know this from experience, I recently fostered a child and was told by my boyfriend at the time that he would stay if I got rid of the kid. I practically packed his bags for him and sent him off, I am now dating again and refuse to accept anyone in my life who does not place my child high up on his list.
2007-01-27 08:04:51 · answer #4 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
Whether you had sex or not was your choice, and your decision, and not his. He had no business saying or, doing anything to or, against you, you could and should get a restraining order against him. He has, from what you said, no reason to come around any more, only to keep a tether on you, which isn't right.
You said "medicated" what did you mean, he's on drugs? if so you'd better keep your eye on him and, are you sure you want him around? maybe only to have it happen again.
You were O.K. with starting over, stay with it. My daughter met a young guy that's 29, he was never married and fell in love with her and her three kids, they all call him "dad" that may be rare but, they're out there, keep looking for the child's sake.
2007-01-27 08:04:15 · answer #5 · answered by cowboydoc 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Yes marriage is special but it doesn't seem like he was really into the vouls .But he could have really realize that what he was missing when he was gone, but on the other hand 2 really accuse u of something after he left , I think he's a dog and can not b trusted, girl he'll keep breaking ur heart. Ask ur self a question when is a nough really anough? Then look deep in ur heart and you will know what 2 do. WOMEN r strong willed by nature.
2007-01-27 12:55:29 · answer #6 · answered by precious 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Oh Sweetie, let this one go. He's found a way to turn it all around and make it your fault in his head. If you did go back together I bet he'll just leave again. You need someone more stable mentally than this guy! You're also putting your daughter through unnecessary heartache. This instability isn't good for her either. Finish the divorce and move on.
2007-01-27 08:05:32 · answer #7 · answered by mjm52 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Hi Minnie. Sorry you've been going through such a tough time. It seems to me that he doesn't want you, but he doesn't want anyone else to have you either. As far as the adultery accusation is concerned, it really has no substance. He left you, don't forget, and also encouraged you to go see someone else, so don't take that on. He's just guilt tripping you, possibly because he's feeling guilty himself, and wants to shift the blame. Hope this helps, and you feel better soon. Penny x
2007-01-27 08:01:05 · answer #8 · answered by Vanessa 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Continue doing as he first requested. Move on. Don't chain yourself to someone unstable as there will continue to be distress in the relationship unless (someone) is willing to change to assure there will not be any future distress. If he cannot live life normal (unmedicated) you are already asking for trouble. Besides you already served divorce papers, correct. Move on. Do not keep your daughter in a relationship that will scar her in later years when she looks back and recalls what you went through and wonder will she follow the same path. Good luck.
2007-01-27 08:01:04 · answer #9 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
He's just jealous because you're dating someone else. He said it was "OK" until you actually did it, and now his male pride is kicking in...
I feel so bad for you, sweetheart, I can't imagine how awful that must have felt when he left you...you don't deserve to be hurt like that :-(
Just change your Yahoo and MySpace passwords...and since he said he doesn't want to see you anymore...it should be okay to move on!
2007-01-27 07:58:53 · answer #10 · answered by uabsupercow 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋