what should I do?

Question

I am torn into pieces after having discovered a love letter written by my wife to her classmate who is happily married and met her only once. After 13 years of marriage and two great kids, she had been emailing him for the last one year and the letter I found was so passionate and full of love that she was almost begging him not to forget him. She says she did not intend to send it and that she was ashamed of having written it. She had been sleeping with me all the while and I helped her get the email id which has my surname as a suffix. Maybe I neglected her, or even harassed her but she is away from whatever he endured in the past. I can understand her emotional needs but what about the guy who loves his family more than her. I was even introduced to him and I was not aware that both of them met in a resort by then. She says she has not been in contact with him since six months as the date on the letter coincides with it nor remember his id. I been crying all over the net for 10 days

Answer 1

it must be hard to feel like she is not happy with you. sometimes after this many years, we start to wonder "what if".... this is usually not abour your relationship going sour... it is more about that you might need to get a little spark back into it.

get counseling -- get help talking to each other. without someone to help you get some understanding, this could tear you apart -- whether you find out that she has been fantasizing or whether you find out she has been stalking him or whether you find out there has been a relationship... you need to work this thing out.

I'm past 30 years married, and I know that there have been times when we got a little bored or just lost touch with each other... but we did some work to find some common interests and reconnect. If you really want to, you can do this.

Answer 2

Dear Havah,I am sorry to hear of your pain,Maybe she is chasing her lost youth,that is not your fault.Perhaps she is searching for something that you are unaware of .Does she work?Is she happy at home ?Does She love you?I think she does !Ask her what she wants from life ?Is she bored ?Perhaps you could arrange a Romantic Weekend away for both of you.This will give you both the chance to relax and talk things through ,enabling you to start again.A change is as good as a rest.

Answer 3

this is something only you can truely decide----13yrs of marriage--two kids--ands it;s easy to see you love your wife----we all make mistakes---forgive her -her mistake--i believe you;ll always be proud that you did.