I started a new relationship and a new job. My boss started flirting with me and I condoned it for fear of loosing my job which was bringing in very good salary. Unfortunatley he found out I aplogised and quit my job. But he never got over it and he pesistently reminded me in addition to all my other wrong doings as the relationship grew and metamorphosed into marriage and till now he reminds me of everything from scratch I am just getting tired.
2007-01-26 23:02:58 · 7 answers · asked by tdrn 1 in Social Science ➔ Psychology
Did anything happen with your boss? Did it go past flirting? I understand that your man was jealous but one thing he has to know is that people who love one another forget everything that is in the past. If he's calling it up whenever you tow argue, it means he hasn't really let go of the issue and if you find that it's getting on your nerves, then maybe it's time you sought some help. You could go see a counselor who would help you both talk it out and help him let go. Reassure him of your fidelity, remind him on a reglar basis that you love him and him alone.
But do get someone to talk to him so he can let go of his insecurity because that's what it is. He's afraid that it will happen all over again.
Hang in there and all the best
2007-01-26 23:19:56 · answer #1 · answered by daixyflexi 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Perhaps the root of this is his own internal insecurity?
Here is an ebook that may help "A New You: Words to Soothe the Body, Mind, and Spirit "
The link is below. However, this also may be a form of control for him. When he feels insecure in the relationship either from his own shortcomings or to what he may interpret from your actions or reactions to him. When he brings up the past, its a reinforcement to him that "hey you messed up and it made me feel insecure, so let me remind you of that to re enforce your guilt towards the situation and respect me"
I agree it was wrong for you to flirt, especially in order to secure a job, but its a mistake. If he loves you and respects the integrity of the relationship, he will have to let it go. If not, this will plague your relationship for a long long time.
2007-01-27 07:12:15 · answer #2 · answered by smckech1972 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
just ask him how he expects to run into the future with a leash around his kneck?
the past is the past for a reason, if we look down we fall.
maybe you should retaliate if talking to him doesn't work start bringing up things he may have done wrong in the past and see how he likes the second degree treatment.
and if worse comes to worse give him a real scare and just say "i'm leaving, it must be hurting you having to wake up next to a constant reminder of what has happened in the past"
tell him that "forgivness is the key to moving forward and if you feel you can't forgive what has happened and leave it in the past well, i won't hold your life back any longer"
this will make him think. i did it to my hubby, but my hubby was using things that had happened long b4 we'd even met.
good luck with one some people are like a dog with a bone
2007-01-27 07:26:47 · answer #3 · answered by omissy2005 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I assume he too has a past.
He knew about the affair before he married you. If he couldn't deal with it, he should not have married you. But he did. So you did all you could do by admitting it and apologizing. Now it's his problem. Tell him to grow up, shut up and get on with life.
2007-01-27 07:32:22 · answer #4 · answered by missingora 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
This sounds like a control freak.
He either accepts you as you are - or you need to consider leaving.
Constantly dragging back past things serves no purpose other than undermining your confidence.
2007-01-27 07:13:51 · answer #5 · answered by U_S_S_Enterprise 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Hes insecure....but do you ever mention it to him?...sometimes,you may say something that brings it up in his mind....if this keeps up you might want to start looking elsewhere for amte...he may be TOO insecure for you to ever fix it.......these are the ype of people who become batterers in the future
2007-01-27 07:43:31 · answer #6 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
HI,
You need to Stand up for yourself.
talk to him, tell him your fillings.
explain him how much it buders you.
he needs to know your sorry and it was a big mistake.
Tell him you want to move on and never ever ever hear about it or talk about it, everytime he talk's about it you remember and live that period of your life, and i know its painfull.
ask him to promise you not to talk about it,
he dose this to make you fill low.
good luck
kit kat
2007-01-27 07:31:11 · answer #7 · answered by KIT KAT 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋