Question for the talkers?

Question

To everyone on here who is excellent at chit-chatting, and can practically have an interesting conversation with anyone.

How do you do it? Do you ever think about what you're going to talk about next (for instance, if a topic dries up what do you do). And what sort of things do you talk about when you're starting a conversation?

I have trouble creating interesting conversations - I can do okay after a while but want to do much better. Any advice you can offer would be greatly appreciated.

Answer 1

The secret to chit-chatting is that you talk about things the other guy or gal is interested in. If he or she asks about you, fine, but overall, keep him or her the main themes of your conversation.

Also smile a lot and use eye contact to make it appear you are holding on to every word he or she says.

And also remember that people like to hear the sound of their own name. Say it frequently but not too frequently so you become obvious.

Answer 2

Well like most people here say its better not to actually think too much on what to say. This keeps the convesation fresh and natural instead of being forced. With that said here are some tips that will help with your discussions:

First and most important, try not to ask questions that can be answered with a yes or no. Nothing makes a converation more awkward than getting a very short reply. For example, don't ask "Do you like music?" rather ask "What time of music do you like?" By changing the phrasing of your question not only do you require them to give you a longer answer, you might also receive an interesting answer that you can in turn follow up on - they might say something like "Oh, I prefer alternative songs by bands like ______" and there you have another topic opened up.

Second, use phrases that convey that you are listening to them. This will keep them at ease with you, knowing that they are being listened to, and will aslo make them open up some more. The occasional questions like "and?", "what happened next?" or better yet repeat what they just said "so after _______ happened?". This encourages them to talk more about it and they might even fill in some details they left out. So for example instead of them just telling you about how fun their vacation was, you might get additional details like the road trip they had during one of the weekends.

Third, when you come upon something perculiar, interesting, or anything that picks your interest, don't be afraid to ask about it. Also when all else fails or you've run out of things to ask or talk about, learn to ask "why?". So questioning why they did something like, "why did you have your vacation there?" will lead to new avenues of topics to explore.

Fourth, don't be afraid to change topics. Sometimes a nice chit-chat involves a lot of silly things and involves mostly things that aren't so serious. Ask them questions about anything silly. If you can at the same time ask them something that tells you something important about them even better. Questions like, "If you had super powers what would it be?" are great.

Overall keep conversation free and easy. You can be serious at times, but then transition to something light. That way the talk doesn't become gloomy. Oh and expect that after they answer your question, they'll ask you to answer it. :)

Answer 3

The easiest way to start a conversation is to somehow ask the other person what he or she is interested in. Then you go on from there. If that person falls onto a topic that you yourself know, it'll be smooth.

But if it doesn't, then ask a few questions.Pay close attention to what they're saying (but don't be too intent, you might come off looking like a strange person). If you come upon something they're saying that you know something about, steer that way.

I hope that helps! And good luck!

Answer 4

Hi Maggs,
Good question here, basically what i do is just be myself, if i know a person's interests i usually steer the conversation in that direction as it keeps them talking about whatever the interest might be.

Usually though, i end up talking about myself, as everybody i chat with always wants to know more about me. I'm told by many that i'm charismatic, interesting and deep. I find that somewhat humerous as i don't consider myself to be any way like this.

Answer 5

Make it personal, not small talk crap. It ends pretty quickly and can be yes or no answers. Ask them about their job, family, interests, hobbies, their hopes and dreams. It also shows you are also really interested in their view on life not just the petty crap. Small talk bores the crap out of me.

Answer 6

don't think what to say-say what you think.you know how when you think of one thing and it leads to a thought of something else,then along to something else and so on?Pick whats appropriate for the person and go with it.hopefully they do the same thing,(have a thought semi-related to what you just said)then you've got yourself a conversation without even trying.

Answer 7

Think about the things that interest you the most.

Answer 8

hi there well i think bookworm n michael had said all that i wanted to say but still if u need a net friend i would love to be ur friend IM me at yahoo- princesssakura18

Answer 9

You need to have a broad general knowledge and be able to have or hold a convo. Try harder.

Answer 10

hi - just dont over think it. u expressed urself cleary with ur question. just be natural and be urself. dont worry.