How can the gay community help convince straight people that gay adoption is safe and morally OK?

Question

Many straight people, myself included, are concerned about the influence a gay couple may have over an adopted child. How can the gay community help us to overcome these fears and issues. I am looking for sensible answers and I am not insulting the gay community.

Wren Tagair's comments do little for the acceptance of the issues involved here. If the kid grows up gay so what, was not what I wanted to hear, and I am sure it is not going to add to any speedy resolve of these issues.

Dawn 18415 has just poured a gallon of petrol on the subject. I am only really interested in sensible answers and the more I get will hopefully give me and many others a better insight into these issues.

I am glad to see plenty of thumbs down for the stupid and ignorant answers to the question. There are some really good answers on this topic and I will leave the question go a while longer before I choose best answer.

Answer 1

I think you have to look at in terms of not just gay and straight.

What about straight couples who's husband beats his wife?
What about straight couples who do drugs?
What about straight couples who swear at their children, and beat them.
What about straight couples who place no importance on education?

The way I see it is for a gay couple to adopt, there has to have been so much thought going into it, because it is so much harder for them to adopt.

What is wrong with 2 people, with so much love to give, giving up there life to support and raise a child who has no family.
Whats wrong with giving someone a real chance in life?

Absolutely nothing.

SO to all the gay haters, is it better to leave a child to be bounced from home to home, never belonging and never being loved, never given a chance to succeed in life- or actually give them a loving caring life they otherwise would not have had.

Answer 2

It seems the main issue people have with gay adoption (the non-bigots) is that the child will likely be faced with obstacles and bullying. While this could very likely be true, it can be rectified. Years ago it was considered a horrible thing to only have one parent, so children were teased about that. Now it's a very common and accepted thing. The bully would be more likely to be laughed at for attempting to tease someone about having one parent. Society is changing and evolving.. Gradually it is also becoming more acceptive of new things. Gay people and those who come from gay households is the major issue right now, I think that legalizing gay adoptions would send a message to alot of people that it IS going to happen, whether they like it or not and will put a foot forward in the direction of acceptance. The longer these things are around, the less opposition will be put against it. So basically you have two options.. Either make gay adoptions illegal because for the time being the adopted children MAY run up against problems, or legalize gay adoptions and speed the process of acceptance. I'm not saying there won't be trouble for some about it, but there ALWAYS will be trouble for some people. Bullies will attack and insult other kids no matter what. The sooner one of their reasons is flushed down the toilet, the better.

Answer 3

Why does the gay community need to convince ANYONE of ANYTHING?
My best friend is gay, is in a long-term committed relationship and has recently adopted. The child's background was less than happy, however he now has TWO loving parents who are doing everything within their power to change his life for the better. Their family is happy, well-adjusted and financially and emotionally secure. WHAT IS WRONG WITH THIS?!? I can't say that about many other families I know.

As for the "teasing" an adopted child with gay parents will receive - MANURE! Kids are kids period. What child doesn't get teased? If it isn't for having gay parents then it's for being overweight or having red hair. That's a piss-poor excuse for not letting a gay couple adopt. How about instead of using that for an excuse, we teach our children about diversity?! (No, I'm not suggesting explicit details be given, but differences are inevitable in life and can properly be put into a child's perspective.)

Gay couples adopt children for the same reason as straight couples or even single parents do - to provide for, love, and raise another human being. What part of this is not "safe and morally ok"???

It is 2007. At what point will people stop being so close-minded and live with a little positivity?

Answer 4

I was brought up in a stable heterosexual environment in a classic family. My parents are still married and I had a happy well balanced childhood. It was assumed that I like my brothers would grow up straight, get married and have children. There was no gay influence on me during my formative years yet I grew up to be gay. I personally believe that influence has little bearing on sexuality and do not believe that if my brothers had been brought up by a gay couple that they would have turned out gay themselves. I hope my experience helps you a little as you try to gain understanding of what can for some people be a very challenging issue.

Answer 5

As a gay adoptive parent, I wonder where the REAL question is?

My son will soon be 14, we got him in our home, as a foster child when he was 12. His birth parents had their parental rights revoked when he was 11. He was bounced around through 4 different foster homes until he was placed with us. When straight couples want to adopt, they truely want infants, then they will let their gaurds down and "accept" toddlers. They want "cute and cuddlely". When my partner (of 16 years) and I decided to adopt, we understood that the older children are harder to place, and when we search further (through social services) we found out that children over the age of 12 have a say so in the adoptive placement, therefore we knew we wanted at least a 12 year old, so IF a problem occured, we as a FAMILY would stand together and resolve it. There have been no issues at school, the administraive staff as well as teachers know our family situation.

Our son has 2 parents, we are not a broken home. We are not a typical family, but how many typical familes line up the streets of America?

Of the over 500,000 children in foster care, more than 20% of those will become eligible for adoption, and as the person posted earlier, if they aren't adopted by loving homes, they age out of the system and sometimes go back to the abusive pasts that they came from.

And in closing, my sons biological father went to prison for molesting his step daughter, my childs half sister. Their mother didn't believe her own daughter, fell into DEEP depression after daddy was locked up and gave up on her responsiblities as a mother, cleaning house, washing clothes, making sure her children were bathed. My son was taking out of the home at 9, mom worked with DSS, got the kids back, and within 3 months they were in the same situation again, and were removed for good.

Maybe, just maybe, everyone should have a license to even have a baby.

Answer 6

Straight psychologists have already done all the research. Gay people don't have to do ANYTHING; straight people just need to look at the research and let go of their misconceptions.

Case in point: what exactly are you worried about? These same kids are a lot more likely to get abused / molested by straight people. And "morally"? What are we calling moral? Gay people hold a WIDE variety of views on morality, so I can't say that gay adoption is any more (or less) moral than straight people adopting. That's sort of the point. If you're asking if kids are more likely to turn out gay, they're not. If you're asking if they're more likely to turn out to be serial killers, they're not. What exactly are you asking (keeping in mind that you're not insulting the gay community)?

Answer 7

There are over 12'000 children it the UK who need an adoptive family . the vast majority of them have problems which often puts them in that situation . Often disability ,mental ill health and hugh social problems to name but a few . In girls self harming is a big issue along with drug and alcohol habits . There are NO bonny bouncing babies NO cuddly little lasses and NO boys being boys types. the potential of a straight family adopting most of theas kids is ZERO. So the chance of being fostered or adopted by a gay couple is mostly all there is. Or of course they can stay put in whatever misery our society has already inflicted upon them. So in answer to your question gay adoption is neither safe or moraly right but neither is straight adoption but its better than nowt

Answer 8

Im straight and im convinced!!! I think if anyone who can prove that they will love and protect a child should be allowed to adopt. Unfortunately there are a lot of straight people who think that all gay people are perverts - i personally dont think that these kind of straight people shouldnt be allowed to breed but there are no laws about that.

Dawn18415 - if homosexuals have so much hate for people other than themselves are you one because isnt that hate you are spewing all over the place. What evidence do you have to support this or is this just plain ignorance breeding contempt here. Get a life and stop looking in the gay, lesbian and transgender catergory for questions if you feel this way.

Answer 9

They can't convince us because it is not morally acceptable.

The poor child should not be forced into such a predicament, having no say in the matter and being too young to know any different.

Completely unfair on the child. I was adopted by a lovely M/F couple who gave me a good start in life. I hate to think what it would have been like with a gay upbringing.

If gays are gay that is their business. It should not be enforced onto children.

Answer 10

"How can this be morally ok?"

Do you mean "moral" as in social morals, or "moral" as in church morals?

I hardly think church morals are something to live your life by, considering the amount of pain and suffering they've caused over the years.

Most normal people have no problem with gay adoption, as can be seen by the overwhelming support for it in the various debates occurring at the moment.

It's an ironic statement, but "thank god" the church's influence is decreasing every year. The world has seen enough oppression to last us for the next 2,000 years.