I didn't know she was a bigot until AFTER I fell in love with her. She made some comments but I thought nothing of it until about a month ago, when I found out she collects swastikas. One time we were at a restaurant when she pepper sprayed a black guy who hit on her. She even put up a picture of Hitler in her bedroom and says the Triumph of the Wills is her favorite movie! Then she told me she picked me because of my Aryan features, when I thought she loved me for who I am as an individual. I hate racism but what am I going to do? I'm in love.
2007-01-26 22:42:30 · 13 answers · asked by Anonymous in Society & Culture ➔ Cultures & Groups ➔ Lesbian, Gay, Bisexual, and Transgender
My response to Creole lady,
First, the guy she sprayed got mad at me and blamed me for what she did.
Second, she's highly manipulative, when I complained to her about it she started crying and said she would die if I left her.
Third, I do like some things about her, she can be very gentle and sweet, she's very loyal and kind and she's very disciplined. She got me on a strict regimen, I lost weight and she can be very intimate. I also respect her work ethic, the only thing I can't stand is her growing racist attitude, other than that she's fine.
2007-01-26 23:09:56 · update #1
I never said nothing happened to her, someone called the police but the guy didn't press charges.
2007-01-26 23:11:45 · update #2
Vampire, we haven't discussed children yet, I haven't even thought about that.
I have told her I don't like it, but she just keeps manipulating me so I don't break up with her. I feel sorry for her in a way, sometimes she's soooo sad and depressed. I want her to change, but I guess she'd like me to come around to her way of thinking too. I thought my open-mind and multicultural way of thinking would rub off on her but so far no such luck.
2007-01-26 23:44:15 · update #3
Think about it, if you marry and have children how will they be raised?
as budding little racists?
I am curious as to what happened to the guy she pepper sprayed.
The other thing to consider is that one is not only a "body" but also a spirit. When you couple with her and she makes remarks and shows off her collection of swastikas, isn't it an assault to your senses or spirit?
What about her do you love?
Have you ever had a conversation with her telling her how uncomfortable you are with her racism?
2007-01-26 22:59:42 · answer #1 · answered by creole lady 6 · 1⤊ 0⤋
I know this may be hard for you to decided, but if you know you don't like a part of her, that affects you, like it is right now then its wrong.
Racist will and can create problems to you're social life, if she really loves you, she would know that you feel uncomfortable with her unacceptable way towards colored people, who in her life have no intention of causing harm to her.
Imagine if you two had kids, would you want your children growing up hating people for their color than by their attitude?
She needs to be the one asking how can i stop being racist?
Did it not bother her that you would care if weather or not she was racist?
First thing you should do is tell ask her, why and if she is racist, then tell her how you feel about it, and see what she will do.
2007-01-26 23:35:04 · answer #2 · answered by Wisdom 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Her views do not have to influence yours. Make sure you two have an understanding and neither crosses the line trying to force the other to change. If you feel she is otherwise a good person and you can handle her racist attitude then continue the relationship. In the long term though the difference in your views will cause friction and love will either make you change or end the relationship. You have to decide whether or not it's worth the inevitable heartache that will come.
2007-01-26 22:52:13 · answer #3 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
lol..boy was she born in the wrong era! she collects swastikas???
Well, it's up to you really....If it's something that you can live with and you feel wouldn't interfere with your relationship ( e.g one of my friend has a Christian father and a Jewish mother and their holidays are the funniest ever) then I guess you'll just have to ask her to tone it down , at least in public..
If that goes against your basic principles and you can't see yourself with such an extreme version of racist, then maybe you need reevaluate the relationship....
Tough call when you're in love though.... people stay with drug addicts, verbal and physical abusers in the name of love ( although your case isn't as bad...well almost)
2007-01-26 22:58:17 · answer #4 · answered by Dahlia O 4 · 1⤊ 0⤋
I would explain to her how racism affects you and tell her that you are not racist and do not plan on changing that. Let her know that her racism has to go ..or else you will. If you tell her this follow through with it. If you stay with her and she remains racist (racism is a choice)she will have a negative input on your life..she already does.
2007-01-26 22:51:52 · answer #5 · answered by kim 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Realize that you are in love with the ideal you created around her, and not with the bigoted reality that she seems to have revealed to you. If you want one last ditch effort, give her an ultimatum--counseling for her racism, or breakup.
2007-01-26 22:53:39 · answer #6 · answered by Vaughn 6 · 1⤊ 0⤋
She pepper sprayed a black guy in a public restaurant, and nothing happened to her? C'mon....
2007-01-26 23:07:13 · answer #7 · answered by INDRAG? 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Show her your multiculturalism....she will leave on her own....too much for her to digest
you do not want KKK birthday parties in the future
2007-01-26 22:49:23 · answer #8 · answered by Jonathan L 3 · 2⤊ 1⤋
post your question in the right catagory this is for the LGBTs not for queries about racism.
2007-01-27 00:21:31 · answer #9 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 1⤋
Dump her!!!!!
Racism has no place in todays society
2007-01-26 22:46:13 · answer #10 · answered by theguyintelford 3 · 1⤊ 0⤋