I divorced my ex wife two months ago becuase she was about 2 months into an affair. So she is about 4 months into it. We where highschool sweethearts and married for 15 years. I know get over it and everyday getting better. The problem is this- She acts like she is back in highschool and we live in a small community. We have two boys 7&9 and they said that mom is acting weird. I know its lust and having feelings waking up that where probably dormant. She cannot get enough of this jerk she is consumed by him and it is effecting our boys. She told them tonight on the phone how she beat him at bowling and had a blast. Well 5 months ago we as happy family bowled at the same place. My 9 year old hung up the phone very mad at his mom. Is lust so powerful that you can hurt your kids and not realise it? She has not acted like this since highschool. Part of me feels bad becuase I feel like I gave her nothing by how she is acting. But I gave her alot. How long does this high last?Will they last
2007-01-26 22:29:13 · 8 answers · asked by Anonymous in Family & Relationships ➔ Marriage & Divorce
Your kids really need to respect that their mum is happy. Seriously getting pissed off at a parent for them moving on is NOT HEALTHY for them. Relationships split in real life so the children are old enough to realise that. It is important you don't bad mouth her in front of the kids. Take it from a kid from divorced parents. If she is hurting them personally they have all right to be angry, but NEVER encourage it. Just be a support to them. They will respect you more if you explain to them their mother is just sharing how happy she is and it is nothing reflected on her experiences with the family. Don't consume yourself with what she is up to. Unless she is being a town bike and the whole town knows about it, your kids shouldn't be ashamed of their mother being happy.
2007-01-26 22:38:07 · answer #1 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 3⤋
I'm sorry to hear what you're going through. It sounds like your ex wife is trying to relive her teenage years and has lost control a bit. It's hard when there are children involved who are looking at our actions. I would sit calmly with your ex and talk about being a little more discrete. Explain that just because you both have decided to move on, that doesn't mean that the children have moved on. It's so soon for her to be acting this way and it's hurting the children. Bottom line she's free to do whatever the heck she wants, but she should use some discretion for the children's sake. You're children might be experiencing a lot of pain, confusion, anger and resentment right now, and you both have to be careful how you handle this divorce. Again, try talking to her very calmly and only address the issue with the kids. If you get too much into her peronal life, she might think you're tyring to control her and tell her what to do with her life and she'll do it in spite. Maybe even go online and print some articles about children and divorce and help her see that the kids are still grieving the loss of having mommy and daddy under the same roof. You both have to team up to help your children through this rough time and assure them that you guys love them unconditionally and the divorce had nothing to do with them.
I would try to get into counseling and get your boys into counseling as well. Divorce is never easy and it's usually harder on the kids. Good luck!
2007-01-27 07:50:44 · answer #2 · answered by jazz_lover_25 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
You have a serious problem, buddy!!! Get over it. You're probably poisoning your kids against their mom. Maybe you should stop bad mouthing her in front of them and they will have some respect for her. The marriage couldn't have been so perfect if it ended the way it did. How do you know this guy is such a jerk? Maybe he makes her feel good about herself. I've seen your questions on here quite frequently. Practically everyday. I think you are the one who is consumed by what goes on in her life. Her life is none of your concern anymore. Focus on your kids and get some counseling. Maybe, your ex is really genuinely happy and I think that is what your problem is. She wasn't happy with you anymore so you think she shouldn't be happy with anyone. You just need to let her go. I know that this hurts you, but you it's something you need to do. I am speaking from experience here. My husband did the same thing to me. Because he cheated I was consumed by his every move and now my kids hate me and they love his new wife.Who is coincidentally the women he cheated on me with. I hope this helps you, because you really need some professional help!!! feel free to email elliecampton@yahoo.com
2007-01-29 13:39:13 · answer #3 · answered by elliecampton 1 · 0⤊ 1⤋
Ya know I read you're question and have no way to answer that would be of any real help BUT I gotta say it is good to see that you are taking care of your kids, and besides if she cheated on you she'll cheat on the next guy too, best way to get even find someone new, or even better show her you are getting along better with out by yourself than when she was with you, worked for me. Nothing drives a woman more crazy than knowing her leaving was the best thing she ever did for her fella. Good luck
2007-01-27 06:40:26 · answer #4 · answered by ogrething2001 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
i am sorry you are having to deal wiht this pain and i hope you continue to be strong for your boys
unfortunatly i dont beleive it is just lust
when we first fall in love or lust the thrill the feelings are so intense - as a relationship continues the thrill wanes after 15 years she is chasing the thrill it may last a while im sorry she did not have the strenght to find the love - lust for her family - as a wife i know that there will always be times when i dont like my life but when im down i try to find the love and lust for my family and it is something we must all work on
i would suggest for your sake you and your boys find love of life and leave her to grow up
2007-01-27 06:45:38 · answer #5 · answered by biggerbargarse 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
women get married young and didnt sow her wild oats, and then get caught up in rut and go wild. She isn't thinking about her kids, she doesnt care about you, just herself. Will they last...no, then she will move on to another guy who dosent really care about her. In a year or two she think that she made a mistake and if you take her back, when she gets in a rut again, she be gone again.
2007-01-27 08:13:13 · answer #6 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
Get your kids out of there.
You cannot stop her behavior and yes it is affecting the kids.
She may one day come back to earth but until them raise your kids.
You do not want them to think this behavior is correct or acceptable.
2007-01-27 08:02:05 · answer #7 · answered by Flagger 6 · 2⤊ 0⤋
Probable not. She is going thru a foot loose moment. It will soon go back to realtity for her. Life is hard for all and we all react different.
2007-01-27 07:18:05 · answer #8 · answered by openminded 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋