What do you say at an English funereal?

Question

Ummmm, i'm French, and i dont know what exactly to say at a Funereal......i need help.

I'm not THAT dumb, Mr. Sniggles! but, i have to addmit, that was pretty funny! XD

Answer 1

I am American who is a Christian, and there are many different possibilities... all depending on WHO one is addressing, and what the purpose is.

Depending upon the family... some people are sad when a loved one dies because they are losing that person... some people are happy because they look at it as if the dead person has gone on to be with the Lord in heaven. So... watch the faces of the family...

For the close family members of the departed loved one... If they are all crying, sobbing, despairing, grieving, then you might say:
"You have my deepest sympathy."
"I am so sorry for your loss."
"I will keep you and your family in my prayers."
"God bless you in this time of grief."
"I cannot imagine what you must be going through."

You can always add "I am so sorry" to the end of any of the above phrases. In fact, sometimes "I am so sorry" is the most comforting thing anyone ever said to me at a funeral... it works all by itself.

If you are a Christian, and you know the majority of the family are Christians, and the dearly departed person was a Christian, then it is entirely appropriate to say:
"May our Lord Jesus Himself comfort you in this time of grief."

And if you know for certain that the family are mostly Christians, and who are actually happy that the loved one has gone on to "be with the Lord"... you could quote the old Bible verse:
" 'Absent from the body, is present with the Lord.' I hope this will be a source of comfort to you."

One other Bible verse of comfort during grief, for Christians:
" 'The Lord is near to those who are brokenhearted.' May He stay close to you during your time of grief."

If you find that after the funeral, they are serving refreshments... and if you happen to have the opportunity to sit at a table with one of the family members... you might simply discuss good memories of the person, if the family member seems open to hearing it. (These next couple of phrases are not to be quoted, but are just meant to be examples, so that you can see the types of things one might discuss at a funeral reception, at least here in the southern U.S.)
"Marie was such a good friend to me. I will never forget the time when we were on vacation in the mountains and she got a big spider in her tent. She ran out of the tent so fast, she looked like lightning. I sure am going to miss her!"
"Marie and I always had the best times together at the bowling alley. She was so much better than me at the game! I will miss her so much."
The goal here is sincerity... sincerely relating your own personal grief, to the family member. If the family member seems disturbed by you bringing up the deceased loved one, then simply apologize: "I am grieving too, and it helps me to talk about Marie and the good times we had; but please accept my apology for upsetting you. I am sorry."

Before or after the funeral, if you are speaking with someone who is not in the very close family of the departed loved one... you might simply say one of the following...
"I sure was sad to hear about Marie."
"The news of Marie's passing made me sad."
"I am so sad that Marie passed away."

Note: in the southeastern U.S., I have rarely heard people use the words "died" or "death" at a funeral. More often...

"passed away" = died
"passing" = death
"dearly departed" = the dead person (you yourself would want to call them by their name... however, if you hear the phrase "dearly departed" they are talking about the dead person... example: "we are gathered here today to honor the dearly departed" etc.)
"the deceased" = the dead person, too

And if the family are Christians, it is common to hear this as a substitute:

"went to be with the Lord" = died

Example: "I am happy that Marie has gone to be with the Lord, but I am going to miss her very much."

I am not sure how helpful this will be. But I hope it helps. I'm sorry to hear that you had a friend who passed away. All my prayers go with you, as you go to the funeral.

Oh, by the way... let us know if you were asked to SPEAK in front of the crowd at the funeral... that would be called a EULOGY, I think... and in that case... you would be speaking for 5-10 minutes or so... sort of giving a speech... about the life of the dearly departed person. Most of the time, if a person is giving a eulogy, they would speak kind words about the dearly departed person, sometimes relating a funny story from their life, or telling examples of how the person had been an inspiration to others, etc. If you have to give a eulogy, please add a note here to us, so that people can help you with examples of what to say during a eulogy.

Answer 2

I would think what you would say to someone in France. I am sorry,my prayers are with you,you are in my thoughts.or just a warm hand or shoulder. depending how close you are,you could say if you need to talk or just some quite time,i will put the tea on.

Answer 3

What do you say at a French funeral? Just say it in English.

Answer 4

Better him than me.
It's very comforting to the English...trust me

Answer 5

Droopage lol

Answer 6

You say I give you my condolences.And i am very sorry for your loss

Answer 7

goodbye old bloke