My girl friend is the nicest woman i have ever met except her being extremely short tempered. How to correct?

Question

She is 37, two years younger than me. A doctor, divorced without any children. I am also divorced with one son who lives with her mom abroad. My girl friend does the same with her dad and mom and often remains without talking terms with them. We deeply love each other, but we break up almost everyday for her shouting at me, becoming suddenly very cranky or even sometime insulting me like i am no body to her.
And if i want to walk away, she becomes crazy, cries and beggs and promises, but the same thing happens next day.
I know its difficult to explain, every body is different than others and each has a unique case. I dont want to stay away from her who is so educated, well groomed, exciting, still her short temperament is killing me. She screams, shouts, hits, breaks, bangs, does everything that make me sad and frustrated. She is also extremely possesive. I want to marry her so much, yet can never dream for a life living happily ever after! We are from Bangladesh.

Answer 1

First of, I am not a behavioral scientist nor am I psychologist or any expert in inter-personal relationship. However, from my life’s experience and some management training, I could possibly share my views in the following lines:

I personally think that you have already got enough good feedback in this forum, like from 'mam' and 'Bill_B' above.

However, you are in a very special category than people normally come across. I mean that your and your fiancé’s case are unique under Bangladesh context due to her age (nearing PMS), education (doctor), current domicile (foreign land), her mental status (hysterical at times), your passion to cling to her and even marry her knowing all the inconveniences that would entail with both of your background data. I think your son will be the first victim if things get too bad, if he is a minor (you did not tell his age).

It is easier for the people from developed world to ‘move on’ but I could understand your dilemma. In our country and culture it is indeed difficult to find some lady at that age to fall in intense love if she is really not that extraordinarily beautiful and/or attractive to your eyes and mind. Even then, could you visualize what nightmare she will be when she would get ‘official’ hold on your live and property? Particularly, in a place like USA or UK or any such modern countries where the wife can easily sue you for many incidents that we take granted here. I do not want to elaborate it here but it is our culture that made it possible to get away with male-crimes those are easily punishable if the wife reports.

Now, decide for yourself if you want to satisfy your 5-senses and then suffer on almost daily basis for the cost that would entail? I am not discouraging you from bonding with your fiancé by way of marriage, but think hard for your son’s future before you make final decision. If possible, get her involved in taking the final decision and get some sort of informal written agreement about what are the Dos and Don’ts you each value in your live and expect from the spouses.

Wish you all the best in solving this riddle!

Answer 2

You say she's the nicest women you ever met, but then go on to state that she gets very cranky, screams, shouts, hits, breaks, bangs....

You mean you haven't ever met anyone nicer then that? Geeze...Do you know how to pick um.

Sorry..

You say you don't want to stay away from her because she's so "educated, well groomed, exciting..." If it's because she's a doctor...and probably makes a lot of money, money doesn't buy happiness.

I'd suggest you find some one else. There's plenty of other women out there. drop her fast! You don't need to put up with screams, shouts, hits, breaks and everything else every day for the rest of your life.

Break up. Tell her if she loves you, to go get counseling and come back in a year. If she's changed, give her another chance if you haven't found some one else by then. If she's the same...drop her and forget about her forever!

Yep. That's my opinion. You sound way too nice for her.

Answer 3

Nicest dog I ever met was a chow lab mutt named Shelia. The owner is a friend of my moms. Shelia is just so sweet and has the most soulful eyes. She is super quiet expect when she snores and just loves to have her head scratched. She is an older girl now 12 but still playful.I see Shelia a few times a year. The Nastiest dog I ever met was Chihuahua named Duke.Just a nasty little dog.Zero manners and would not shut up for 5 minutes. On a few occasions he would lunge at people and bite them.He was very strong wiled and would bark for a few hours. At the time I just had one dog and he tried to fight with him. Just an all around mean dog. He was mean to his owner as well...the dog was not born this way so I felt sorry for him.He was so stressed.He couldn't enjoy walks or toys,this was how he was most of his life.He died a 2 years ago at age 9.

Answer 4

I work with doctors for a living and some of them are temperamental. I respond by becoming even more calm and soft spoken when they go on a rant. This shows them that I am actually the better person, and this can be quite disarming to them.

It's important to point out that a bad temper is a personality flaw. Rise above this level... Smile and tell her you understand and you hope she feels better soon. This will help her see how foolish she looks when she acts like this.

Doctors often have very high self esteem, and looking like a fool is something they hate. Make this flaw in her more obvious by behaving the opposite way, and she may see this as a challenge to become a better person by rising to meet your quality of personality.

Good Luck!

Answer 5

4 me relationship is about compactibility, friendship and happiness, I don't see that in ur relationship. If she holds malice against her folks she will do same with you! Ur girl has to make sacrifices in her character attitude; if she is genuinely sorry and in love with you then she has to change. I had the same prob with my fiancee though not as deep, i bared my mind to her that we will break up if she does not start controlling her temper, cos she loves me she worked on it and we are about to get married. don't go into wedlock if the situation does not improve otherwise u will be heading 4 no2 divorce! Sit down and have a very serious discussion with her about your feelings to her attitude, it works! Love is all about sacrifice. goodluck

Answer 6

She could need anger management, or maybe she is manic-depressive. Tell her that if she wants your relationship to work, she has to get herself evaluated to see if she is bi-polar (manic-depressive), in which case she needs medication, or that she needs to get counselling for her anger issues. If she refuses, your living "happily ever after" is unlikely.

Answer 7

The main purpose you want to see why she is going to be angry everyday either she is not satisfied with you ( sexually, mentally, physically, financially) first you want to see the reason but 1 more suggestion i want to quote you that most of the females are shouting and angry becuase they are sexually satisfied.

Answer 8

Ask her to change her attitude but if she cant... Your the one to decide if you want to marry her or not. you want to suffer because of that woman? go ahead marry her....Or ask her break up because you can't stay longer with her.

Answer 9

Grab her cunny and say "how'd you like to raw dog it with me?" and then half way through the action start diddling her brown eye then hook it up...after a night of pure anal she'll calm down and if not do it a second time with a dirty sanchez finish and then top shelf her!

Answer 10

not a good match for you
get a new love