my marige is on the rock and about to brake?

Question

I have been married for 2 years, been together for 6. we have a2 year old daughter. we live with my wife’s parents. I know!! Its hard to find a place in Honolulu that my wife will live in and that we can afford. We no longer seep in the same bed. we cant talk more than 5 min with out arguing. Mostly about how to raise our daughter. and money and that I’m over weight. after we got married everything went down hill. Should I just end it or stick it out. Will it get better if i lose the weight? 6'1'' 250. how bad will it affect my daughter. Right now I don't know if I want to be in this relationship, everything I do she nit picks, I mean everything. I don't no if I can handle anymore of it. Sometimes I feel like I'm going to explode. If anyone has gone or is going through this please help me. Thank You

Answer 1

Don't you know the real reason? She is still living with her mother. She wants her own home. You have not shown her that you can be a financially supportive husband. If you want to keep her, work really hard on how you can afford to get a nice place of your own. And of course you have to be their for her and never argue with her. Remember, when you argue with her, you are just digging your own grave. Have you ever heard of a man winning an argument with a woman? I've been with my wife for 12 years and I have never even come close. Even after I prove to her that I was right.
If you want to keep her, listen to everything she says and try really hard to be more financially supportive. And of course find a way to lose the weight. Remember, even though your wife may love you, you must also please her family.
Their house, their rules!

Answer 2

You say you have been married for two years, and have a two year old daughter. Does that mean she got pregnant, and then you decided to get married, or had you been discussing and planning on getting married during the prior years together?
Could she be resentful if that be the case?

You live with your parents-in-law, which I'm sure warrants you both minimal private time together, especially with a young child.

Honolulu is a beautiful state, and she should be happy to be able to even reside there, but it sounds like no matter what you suggest for a place to move to, it's not good or right enough for her. I believe her issues are more deep rooted. It sounds like she is so unhappy, that she is pulling straws and picking on every little thing.

Your daughter needs two parents, and you both should try to work it out to stay together at least for the sake of your daughter's well-being. Unless, one of you should become physically abusive to the other.

It never hurts to lose weight and get on an exercise routine, and eat a well balanced diet. You could run on the beach in Honolulu I would imagine. Suggest to her to that you both run together.

Before you give up and explode, try and suggest to her that you both see a marriage and family counselor. That would be your last hope. But you both have to be willing to try and love each other enough to want to continue in this marriage, in order for it to work. It's not serving either one of you justice, if you are both so unhappy. Your daughter is still young, but as she grows older, she will pick up the vibes from you both that you are not happy. I would much rather hear that you worked this dilemma out together and are raising your daughter in a two-parent home.

I wish you the very best. I will say a prayer for you. Aloha and good luck.

Answer 3

Distance.......from the parents as soon as possible. I lost a job and my wife and two kids had to move in with the my in-laws for a time. It will only keep causing problems, because she will not be in the mood for love at her parents house and they will always be right there to keep throwing their opinion in the ring. You need to find a place where you both can call home together, even if it aint paradise. Talk...I mean really talk to her. Even though you are hurting right now too, you need to reassure her that you really care about here needs too. You HAVE to find a way to work as a team, or there will be no happy ending. Someone once told me that if you want to stop the fighting, you have to try to see the truth in what the other person is saying(and there always is something, even if it seems small). She needs to know that you care about that one thing. Anger is caused by hurt and disappointment. So if she is angry with you, you have to get to the source of the that and tell her that you want to change it for her. Then you can begin to talk again with meaning. I think if you can find that point, she might start changing too. Good Luck, hang in there.

Answer 4

You can always quit, what does it hurt to try to work things out. Do you really want another man raising your daughter?? Some women pick men who abuse their daughters unintentionally.
Go for a walk with your wife at night. You will firm up and you have a built in babysitter.
Write down what you argue about and see if you cant pick one issue to agree on a week, Try it both ways, her way and your way.
Make a list of what you both want for your daughter and what rules you need to help her get there. 2 is an age that needs limits.

Listen to her. Don't respond right away to break cycle of fighting, She probably wants her own home. Praise her. Really praise her for what she is doing right.

find someone at church, or counselor to help you.
Good Luck.

Answer 5

Sounds like you both need a marriage consular. Maybe some time off. Whatever happen sounds like it happen fast and without warning. I know it's hard to make a decent living now days and money, for most, is tight. You should try and enroll in night school classes like I did many years ago. I got a medical degree this way and was able to take many interesting classes along the way. I increased my knowledge and my standing. my work habits. I was able to apply for better jobs, for better pay. Increasing my friends increased my value and my resources too. An education is something that is required now days to get anywhere and, your going to always have trouble without a decent one.

Answer 6

try counceling first if you are both willing. Try to work on the marriage. Divorce isn't always a bad thing for the kids. Kids can sense hostility..especially if they see you fight all the time...but you should atleast try soemthing before ending it completely. It's very hurtful...it sounds like she dogs you about everything. Poor guy...my heart goes out to you. Good luck.

Answer 7

I went through it. I remember she once complained about the way I dried myself after taking a shower.

Mine ended in seperation and then a divorce, which I've never regretted. I finally told myself that I deserved someone who really cared about me and that I was better off to go home to an empty house than go home to someone who didn't care about me.

Whatever you decide remember that you deserve better.

Answer 8

i believe you need a heart-to-heart talk with your wife. tell your wife seriously to calm down and talk and find the problems out. maybe you can find someway to solve the problem.

First you both need to calm down, so you can have a clear mind and talk everything out. I believe talking from heart can solve problems.

Good luck!

Answer 9

Lose weight,have patience,love and understand each other,stop arguing.All these things help if you really want a good marriage.

Answer 10

Love was'nt mentioned once, if you're not happy you should get out. You would be surprised how much children pick up on. You deserve to be happy.