What is the best way to deal with a line manager who is a bully?

Question

I have a line manager who criticizes everything I do. He cancels meetings I book, badmouths me in front of other people and gives me projects to work on and then changes the goal posts so often I don't know how to proceed. He is constantly changing my priority list and then critcizes me for not getting things in on time. I have been doing the same job for 7 years and was respected for my work before he became my line manager. There were 3 members in the team plus the manager - 1 has been sacked and we have both been dragged in front of HR by this man. I seem to go home every weekend now worrying about work and wondering if I will have a job much longer.

Answer 1

Your line manager is a bad manager whatever his side of the story is. He would understand the importance of keeping good employees happy otherwise, not just out of kindness, it makes good business sense to get a win win situation. Abusing his position to exhibit his power is sheer stupidity. Bullying is an ugly side of human nature but it happens everyday.

The ideas suggested by some r far too complicated. And revenge only lowers yourself to his level. u can't change him but u can change yourself.

First, stay COOL, don't let him get to u as he knows. Bullies pick their victims: they pick ones that they consider "weaker" than themselves. Bullies smell FEAR. u need to learn some techniques to stay calm + assertive. He wont enjoy bullying if he doesn't get the reactions that he wants. The bullying will stop eventually when he doesn't get what he expects.

Most importantly, be CONFIDENT. say if u do have to leave, u will have no problem finding a better job anyway, it's their loss. Change is scary, but maybe there is something better just around the corner.

Do this exercise whenever u feel anxious
http://zes4best.co.uk/anxiety.htm
.

Answer 2

Walkeygem,
The contents of this reply are VERY IMPORTANT TO YOU.
I had the same problem at work.
You must do 2 things STRAIGHT AWAY.
If you and your colleague BOTH feel that you are being bullied; both go to see the Managers Manager or your HR Manager together, and get "on the record" together of saying that you are being bullied.
Its painful to do it; but also keep a written diary of his bullying behaviour; date, time, content of insult/slight, tone of voice, which can be used later in a hearing against him.
Make sure you both agree that bullying is taking place; it weakens your case if only 1 person sees it as bullying.
The second thing is to get the book "Bullying at Work- How to Confront and Overcome It" by Andrea Adams (an acknowledged expert on bullying).
Act quickly because you' re describing "classic" symptoms of this problem.
The bully will continue to sack others if he isn't stopped.
Be careful; because bullying is now a work condition notifiable to the Government(a bit like a nasty industrial disease) and companys sometimes deal with the bully without owning up to it happening.
I waited until my manager ( who was a notorious bully who upset everyone who worked for him) "fitted me up" for a warning before the Union took action on my behalf.
The warning was UPHELD AT APPEAL but I was told "off the record " that the Manager received a major warning for his behaviour;but it didn't go "through the books" because the Managers didn't want to own up to bullying.
Act Fast!!!
Good Luck!!!
The "Mac"

Answer 3

First you need to undermine his power base. You will need to form strong alliances with other colleagues too.(you can do this easily by feigning an interest in them and their personal lives,and it costs nothing)
Try to get to work early and leave late..this not only gives you brownie points..but the opportunity for subterfuge..
Arrange for important documents to 'disappear' from his desk or computer. Make a point of asking him for them, or better still get a superior to enquire after the info.
This will make him look weak and foolish in front of his colleagues. Then (carefully) go and locate said information 'where it was all the time'. He will probably be too busy foaming at the mouth and having a nervous breakdown to harass anyone.
Then you can take over as the office tyrant!

Answer 4

I do feel for you, I've been there. You do not have to tolerate this behaviour. Visit www.andreaadamstrust.org/factsheet.pdf
for helpful info and support. You do need to keep detailed notes of how he is behaving towards you and then go to HR and discuss with them. They should take immediate action. This man needs to be stopped. Don't let him take away your self-esteem - he is the one with the problem of jealousy, insecurity, overblown ego or whatever but that's for him to sort out. Concentrate on your well-being and try to remember that 'No-one can make you afraid, angry etc. without your permission'. Keeping notes will also help you to respond to him when he changes your goal posts. Most important though, speak to HR soon. Good Luck.

Answer 5

Kick him in the nuts.


Kidding. (Sort of) Have you tried talking to him about it? It may not do any good, but it is a start.

If that doesn't work, start documenting when/how he bully's you. Once you have a substantial list, go to his superior and tell your side of the story.

Give your list (and any proof) to HR and have a statement filed.

Depending on how badly he treats you verbally, file harassment charges against him if worse comes to worse.

Answer 6

If you can't confide your problems to HR with confidence, I'd start drafting up a good-quality resume and buy a book of stamps. The earlier you can start looking for a better employer, the better. That guy sounds like he needs to have his head and nuts put into a vice.

Answer 7

eeI'm so sorry that you are experiencing this but it does happen, sadly. I t happend to me when I was training to be a BT operator, the person who was training me made my life a misery , when she was arround I was like a jelly just waiting for her to have a go. I went to see a phycic, not because of her a friend of mine roped me in. To my amazment she told me I was having trouble with a woman at work and not to worry she would sort it. Believe me she did the woman became so nice to me it was scary. May be worth a try.

Answer 8

In the source box there is a page on the website, top left that speaks of bullying and harassment at work and one technique that actually works. You might want to read it as here it would take to long to reproduce.

Answer 9

I give crouching tigers answer to thumbs up, I like her answer. But have you ever talked to him about your concerns? Maybe he doesn't realize the stress he is causing or he may not perceive his actions the way that you do. You know what they say there are two sides to every story, maybe his boss is pushing him to change the deadlines etc. so the projects can get finished.

Answer 10

ask him why he is bullying you. tell him that nobody likes a bully and that the police, courts etc like picking on bullies. tell him that everything he is doing is being noted and that you are in the proccess of seeking legal advice. goto the citizen advice. is there a work friend that can be with you or witness this with you? also go and get one of them small dictating machine tape recorders and press record on it when he comes near you (hide it in your pocket). if none of this is working, then email me