adoption questions in louisiana around baton rouge?

Question

My husband and I have recently been told that I may not be able to have a baby (polycystic ovarian syndrome) and if I can become pregnant I may not be able to have a healthy pregnancy for me or the baby (high blood pressure and mitral valve prolapse). I can't see being selfish enough to insist on having my own baby and either me or the baby or both of us not making it through the pregnancy! What good am I to my child if I die during the process of having them!
Anyway, the question I am posing is: I live in Louisiana and am wondering what are my options! Are there ways to find a mother who is pregnant (say a teenager) and doesn't wish to keep the baby-like an agency that refers them to parents (not an adoption agency, like a governmental agency maybe)? If so, how long does the birth mother have to change her mind after the baby is born? And what are the costs incurred during the pregnancy process, do I pay living expenses and doctors fees, or what?

Also, if I find someone who is willing to give up their child, do I have to go through the entire homestudy process and parenting classes? Are there ways to get around these things? How much will it cost me?
Also, my husband isn't sure that he wants to adopt, what are some ways that I can convince him it is a good idea? He is afraid he will never be able to love the child as his own because he will always feel it isn't his own?
Any pros or cons on adoption vs. having someone carry my child for me/carry a child that is my husbands and maybe a possible egg donor for me? Any cost examples on doing the serrogate mother thing?

By the way, me and my husband are 25 and both have good jobs, good family backgrounds, good political backing from his families side (if it would make a difference).

Help, I've always dreamed of being a mother and now all of our friends are having babies and I cry myself to sleep with the thought of not being able to have my own!

Thanks in advance for any help you could offer! You may be helping make mine and my husbands dreams come true! I know you will be helping both of our families dreams come true! They want grandchildren SOOO bad! My M-I-L has already started a nursery at her house! I don't think she understands the extint of my medical problems!

Answer 1

I have PCOS. I was not diagnosed until late into my 20's and I am Mom to 3 girls, all healthy and beautiful. I will tell you, you can have kids but it will be tough and hard. I miscarried the first time I was pregnant, I have been pregnant a total of 6 times. I miscarried 3 times. I took it easy through my pregnancies and had more then the normal number of OB/GYN visits. I would say talk to some more docs and get a third and fourth opinion. They can put you on meds to control the symptoms. I am not on anything. I live healthy and eat a well balanced diet. I have 2 paps a year (just to make sure). I say go for it. I did. I have two adopted sons from my husbands previous marriage and I love them just as much as my girls, but there is nothing that can beat the feeling of a life growing in you. The kicks and the heart burn are worth. I would go through the pain and the hurt all over again. Like I said do some research on the Internet and talk with some more docs.

Answer 2

you need to start at adoption.org they give a listing of laws state by state. i also have pcos, miscarried, and went through the whole thing of fertility treatments. i reccomend you using an agency and lawyer. i'm sure there are ways around this but these are in place to protect you. our adoption of our daughter cost around 20k. but she is ours, there's no question and no issues looming out there. as any adoption do your research, ask tons of questions, and let your husband participate. first you need to have him on the same page as you or down the road there may be problems. sit down with your husband and talk to him about his feelings. he may not be ready to move on yet. he may still have questions about what you're dealing with. listen to him, don't blow him off. we put in a 20 min rule. where we would each spend 10 mins a night talking about our concerns and the other listening, and then at the end of the 20 mins that was it. no more. the next night address each other's concerns. if you aren't finding support you need from your husband, find an infertility or pcos support group. or feel free to email me. i felt since it was my body that wouldn't function it was on my shoulders and the guilt ate at me for years. it started to ruin my marriage and my life in general. research, research and research. buy books, read online, make an informed decision. i don't suggest finding your own birthmother, this is full of problems. find an agency that can work within your budget they are out there. my friend is in the middle of an adoption, she waited only 48 hours to be matched and the total will be under 10k. good luck to you.

Answer 3

how can i adopt my 13 year old grandson that has been living in my home since birth?