We've been living together for about 2 months and money is TIGHT. He just found another job after losing his about a month and a half ago. I have been paying for EVERYTHING since we moved in together. Now whenever he has money and I ask him to help out with something like my car he says, THAT HAS NOTHING TO DO WITH ME. He says I'm uptight and worry too much.
I told him you're supposed to worry about... well maybe more like "anticipate" things before they happen so you're prepared.
He says don't fix something that isn't broken.
What do you think?
2007-01-26 19:13:03 · 18 answers · asked by Anonymous in Family & Relationships ➔ Other - Family & Relationships
First of all, I'm sorry that you're having to live on such a tight budget. That seems to be how things go nowadays. I wish I could give you advice on how to make things better.
Your boyfriend sounds to me like a selfish, self-centered individual. When times got tough, you stepped up to the plate, took charge, and paid the necessary expenses. Now when it is his turn to share the burden, he does not want to help you.
Whether you live together in the same household, or are married, household expenses are a shared expense. Cars get people to work, unless they are paid for and maintained, you lose them. It is up to him to kick in on the expenses for your car so that you do not lose it. If I read this right, you were footing the bills while he was unemployed, so I assume you made his car payment or paid for his gas and other car related expenses? I would assume so.
I would give this man a healthy word of advice.... kick in on the household expenses and share in the responsibilities, or he is invited to utilize the front door! You seem like a responsible person, and you should get cooperation from him. If he wants a handout, tell him to hit the local homeless shelter.
Best wishes to you.
2007-01-26 19:29:45 · answer #1 · answered by C J 6 · 5⤊ 0⤋
Sounds like you are concerned and he's carefree. Make it clear in a nice way that now its his turn to help out since you took care of him for two months. If that doesn't work just tell him that the next time he needs you for his purposes to get along that
2007-01-26 19:54:12 · answer #2 · answered by marie v 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Preparing for a "raining day" has nothing to do with "fixing something that isn't broken" he's using metaphors to ease the burden of an explanation to you. It sounds like you picked a real winner here and should rethink your relationship before it gets any deeper.
Just tell him when things do get "something to do with him" to give you a call.
2007-01-26 22:37:17 · answer #3 · answered by cowboydoc 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I think if you've been paying for everything, you need to remind him that you helped out when he needed it, and if he's not going to be the same with you, he needs to move on. Relationships require co-operation, among other things and if he can't compromise on this, then he's not going to be there for you in the future. I wouldn't say necessarily selfish or immature, but he definitely sounds unreliable. What woman needs that?
2007-01-26 19:53:10 · answer #4 · answered by kiera70 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
You don't need somebody bringing you down. Remember this Jesus loves you...and you can save money and do good with out this boyfriend. Sound like bisquit head just need a place to lay his head. So dont let this devil charm you broke. He's right about don't fix something that isn't broken. That's why you need to but his broken behind out with the trash....
2007-01-26 19:34:57 · answer #5 · answered by Corina 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
that's how my parents are, only their in bankruptcy and even though they can put away money instead of buying a new TV or something of the sort, they don't. then our refrigerator door fell off and now it's propped up by a drinking glass. then we got a notice to fix up our screens on our back porch, and just when my dad got laid off at work. they could have saved money just in case, but now our house is falling apart but the inside looks great with new furniture and TVs and sound systems. oh yeah, and we have a huge gaping hole in our kitchen ceiling with paint chips falling off. sometimes it leaks so much everything is soaked. and our roof leaks. this is about 10-15 years of "we don't need to save up money for anything because nothing is effecting us at a critical state right now". then he's laid off work and unemployment doesn't come through for weeks and weeks. i even had to loan them money for food.
my advice is, and i have learned to do the same from their mistakes, is to always have at least some money saved just in case, because you never know what could happen, and something always happens down the road. not one person has gone through life without dealing with an unexpected expense, and it's best to be prepaired.
you should seriosuly sit down and tell him you are concered and even if he doesn't want to contribute, you will put away some of your own money. maybe not even tell him your putting money away, because then you will be expected to be able to pay for everything.
2007-01-26 19:31:01 · answer #6 · answered by Bitterly Sweet 3 · 1⤊ 0⤋
when dealing with men in my opinion, its more like, what can they bring to the table??...if he knows you can handle everything on your own with out his help, he WILL take advantage of it. Yes he is selfish for not thinking about what YOU have done for him and not helping you out when you need his help. *REMIND HIM* of what youve done for him. He is immature for not realizing that something can ALWAYS go wrong, as it seems to do when things and money are TIGHT. If you want to keep him, help him to realize that its NOT all about him and he needs to help out if he wants to eat, watch t.v or take a shower!
2007-01-26 19:26:00 · answer #7 · answered by Lil Brown Girl 1 · 2⤊ 0⤋
"life is a series of pulls back and forth. you want to do one thing, but you are bound to do something else. something hurts you, yet you know it shouldnt. you take certain things for granted, even when you know you should never take anything for granted. a tension of opposites, like a pull on a rubber band. and most of us live somehwere in the middle. sounds like a wrestling match, so which side wins?
love wins. love always win."
2007-01-26 19:24:33 · answer #8 · answered by Princess illusion 5 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Selfish and immature to answer your question. I would get the heck out of that living situation. SAVE YOURSELF!
2007-01-26 19:59:17 · answer #9 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 0⤋
Leave NOW!!!! I hate to say that b/c everybody deserves a second chance, but this guy is beyond help!! :( Good luck!
2007-01-26 19:20:25 · answer #10 · answered by Anonymous · 3⤊ 0⤋