should i marry a younger man who claims he loves me?

Question

i'm a 34 year old women who has been with a younger guy who is 24 and he does the world for me and my kids, he recently proposed after 5years of being together our relationship is great. our only problem is, he is very flirtatious! we can be in the car and he will break his neck to stare at a female even if he's aware that he's been caught....it makes me feel so insecure, what should i say or do, should marriage be an option? he is the perfect man with that one flaw....

Answer 1

Most marriages end in divorce and if you're having to ask this question you don't know him well enough. Give it some more time. Why rush into it if there is a possibility of divorce a few years down the road.

Answer 2

You have been going out for a while so must know each other pretty well. However he is young and flirtatious. It is difficult to say, because it is a personal judgement thing. He does seem to love and respect you, which is a big thing. Just make sure he realises that he is letting him self in for a big responsibility with marriage. It doesn't mean he stops being who he is, but he does need to be aware of your feelings. Tell him, make sure he knows how you feel. One definite positive is at least he's not hiding anything from you!

Answer 3

You should marry a guy you love and a guy you feel secure with and wanting marriage is wanting to share your life with that guy and having a family with him.

But you say " who claims he loves me"...if you're not sure he loves you don't marry him...don't get married only coz he proposed...you don't need marriage

If flirting bothers you, then you have to look forward to a lot of that coz he won't stop looking at other attractive women...younger women...

I'm 34 too, my hubby is 45 and he looks at other women, mostly younger women...it hurts, i know

Finally you say "he is the perfect man with one flaw"...if you really love him you wouldn't see any flaws.

The real question is marriage or no marriage...if I had to do it all over again it would be hard to chose...marriage is good but sometimes I wish I was free...anyway, good luck

Answer 4

That's all it will take to hurt you and your kids. Don't marry him, his really too young right now. I'm not saying don't marry someone younger but 24 yrs old, his just getting started in his life and you've already had kids. I doubt you'll be able to deal with the flirting all the time. Sooner or later your going to start fighting over it and then you'll be single again. Your still young too but try to date someone closer to your age like at least 29 to 40 yrs old. You will see how different it is to have someone pay all the attention on you and your kids and not other women. To him your probably just his "sugar momma''.

Answer 5

He can't be the perfect man or husband if he is breaking
his neck to look at other women, so this in itself should
raise a red flag in your future decisions with him. 10 yrs
is not that much of a difference if the person who is
younger is mature. Since you are 34 I know you want a
steady relationship with a man and a good father figure
for your kids. Since he is 24 you need to think is he
really ready to take on the responsibility of accteping
children in his life to take care of along with you, as just
because he does the world for you and your kids for the
moment does not mean that once you get married he will
do the same. You have been with him for five years and
if he still wants to look at other women then you need to
think what is best for you and your children. Talk to him
and tell him what you expect and demand your respect
at all times because as a mother you need a man in your
life that will respect you and your children along with tak-
ing on the responsibility of taking care of you all for the
rest of his life if he is going to be your husband: once
you know this is him then you can think about marriage
Remember it's your decision just be careful and make
the right one for you and for your children. Good luck.

Answer 6

he might be really in love with u now...and about him being a flirt, i just want to tell u that all men are flirts...their eyes are always roaming on the girls...that's a nature in men and no one could prevent it...
my advice to u...24 yrs for a man is too young...he is not determined at all right now..there was this lecturer that said once a man doesnt know what he wants untill he's 31 on wards...at 30 the man is considered undetermined...plus u cannot find a man in a 24 yr old...u'll find a small boy...but in a older man you'll find the man and the small boy...

Answer 7

He's still young and wants to spread his seed unconsciously most likely. Sit him down and talk to him. Ask if he is going to be faithful. I almost caught myself up with an older woman (near 20 years older). Close to marrying her after knowing her for a year. Thing is that it would have made my parents angry and alot of friends would turn their backs on me. Still I chose not to for that reason. However If I had gone through with it, sure I would have thought about other women but only be with her. Make sure he is at least the same.

Answer 8

First of all, open your eyes. He is not "the perfect man with that one flaw." Over time, you will undoubtedly see more and more of his flaws -- be prepared for it.
Secondly, don't expect him to change after your wedding day. He will be just as flirtatious and rude then as he is now. If you're expecting him to change, then you might want to re-think this. However, if you're okay with him doing this for the rest of your life, sure, go for it.
It sounds to me, however, like you're not really ready for this relationship to lead to marriage. Take your time, talk to him about your issues, and if you still want to get married eventually, try premarital counseling. It will help you work out these kinds of issues before they become major obstacles.

Answer 9

Not once did you say that you LOVE him!
Hell he was a babe when you met him
at 19, he had not even lived before you tied him down with you and your kids.
let him go before...
If he marries you and dumps you in 8 years, he can and will find someone immediately and your best years will have been gone donated to raising this guy to be the perfect man for someone else!

Answer 10

Well age difference can be a good thng . but by the looks of it from what i can gather from the short piece of info....dat u don't hav 100% trust in this guy...and as u very well know ne relationship where the person involved dont't trust each other shall end.....finally the decision is urs...i wud see no problem in marrying an older woman...untill i can provide for her and her children....There is one question though he isn't financially dependent on you? is he.....