What's in a dream?

Question

I dreamt I murdered my mother at her request because she was ill and didn't want to live any more. When I went to carry her off in a plastic bag, her remains turned to crumbled cake crumbs. One person knew I had done it and threatened to tell, but I begged them not to because she asked me to relieve her of her illness in this life. As the dream closed out, this "person" just started at me in a menacing way. I woke up, of course; but the problem is -- my mother's been dead for more than 25 years. She died in a nursing home at the age of 41, a victim of asphyxiation when she choked on a piece of bread during dinner. ???

Answer 1

I don't, mean to sound ca louse, and there is something to be said for residual memory; but, basically- dreams are your brain taking a crap. Sorry,

My dad died when I was 25 and I have had plenty of weird dreams about him, and I wake up and feel close to him once again. However, over the years I have come to the conclusion that these dreams are nothing more than garbled memory. Ignore for the most part all dreams, they mean nothing!

Answer 2

My calculations indicate she'd be 66 now which means you were fairly young when she died. Depending on one's age, they might feel as if there was something they could've done to prevent the death. Some have residual guilt [often for years] that they didn't try.

My father died when I was 19 and it wasn't until 35 years later I'd finally processed my grief. I'd not known I was still grieving until a specific event triggered it - after all that time. That event helped me finish my grief work. We all grieve in our own way and we do it on our timeline - it can't be rushed or done by another. You may still be grieving the loss of your mother, perhaps having felt that you had to stifle such deep feelings.

Today, there's more openness about dying with dignity and there is open discussion about people who are ill asking to be let go on their timeline, not suffering any longer than necessary. Our laws haven't caught up to the reality of dying with dignity, for the most part, yet it's a tough issue for the terminally ill and their loved ones. Conflicting guilt over such issues can be very complex and few want loved ones to suffer, unduly, yet the law says they must - except in certain situations. Even pulling the plug on life-support tubes is a heavy responsibility, often laden with guilt and haunting feelings.

That your subconscious turned your mother into cake crumbs is interesting, as bread is rarely sweet while cake usually is. I'd see that as you remembering her as being a sweet lady - just as she'd likely want to be remembered - and you've honored her.

If, when she entered the nursing home at such a young age, you knew her prognosis and it wasn't a happy one, you may have, at some time, sensed she didn't want to live unless really healthy. You may have talked about it with her, perhaps trying to soothe her, and if so it's possible memories have been repressed. Many find it comforting to talk to their loved ones as if they're still here. Some like to journal, others write letters. I've lost too many to count. I'll openly talk to 'em. If folks think I'm daft do I care? No.

Often, I'll plant a loved one's favorite flower, shrub, bush or tree so it becomes a living memorial - keeping bonds alive. I'll talk to their plant as if it's a living stand-in for my loved one, nurturing and tending it as I would've them, if they'd been with me longer.

You might want to do something tangible, meaningful. It's your event, your experience, so follow your intuition as to what might help most. It can be frivolous or outrageous, fanciful or formal, whatever you and your mom would enjoy. If she was as sweet as cake [symbology] she'd want you to find closure. In my own worldview, she'll be there with you, perhaps sensed and unseen.

Answer 3

Dreams are unfineshed thoughts stitched together by the brain in a stress reliveing attempt at rationalization.

Answer 4

why did she turn into cake crumbs. it seems like she should have turned into bread crumbs.

Answer 5

dreams are stuff that in real life u would never dare to try. thats why u dream, also they are what uve learned thought the day(s).

Answer 6

anxiety dream