Why is it that my husband gets to do anything he wants to?
Like go to Party's, Concerts, Bars, Strip Bars(I don't approve of that)
But when I want to go out just to even my best friends house He throws a fit and makes me feel very bad!
Like tonight I had planned to go to an ALL GIRLS party and at the last minute I had to call my best friend and tell her I wasn't going.
Her feelings were hurt and mine are too!
We had planned this for two weeks and my husband knew of it!
My son's feelings were hurt too because he was looking forward to just hanging out with his dad alone!
AND NOW MY HUSBAND IS OUT DOING HIS OWN THING!
I haven't been out alone with my friends for about 4 and a half years and I miss doing that. I'm falling into a rut and I don't want to live like this. I want to be able to go out without taking my son every where I go. I LOVE my son but at times I need a break!
I know we need counseling but I wanted to know if anyone else goes through this too and how do you deal with it?
2007-01-26 17:06:08 · 18 answers · asked by Anonymous in Family & Relationships ➔ Marriage & Divorce
Your husband sounds like he has some growing up to do. Do you guys trust each other? You both need time together and time spent apart. You have to be able to recharge and find yourself. I've been to a counselor and she told us that it's very important to your own sanity to have some time for yourself,whether you're on your own or with your friends. A good counselor will help your husband see that your son needs his dad to himself sometimes and you need time for you.
2007-01-26 18:28:55 · answer #1 · answered by carla d 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Unfortunately your husband is the typical "MACHO" a big difference from a real man, I'm not attacking man in general but it's not right for your husband to be so insensitive about your feelings and he doesn't respect you as an individual. You said you're aware you need counseling, try to convince him to go with you, he actually needs it more.
2007-01-26 17:16:28 · answer #2 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 0⤋
Stand up for yourself and tell your husband that you are a grown woman and you can go out and enjoy yourself as well! If things don't improve, maybe you should think about whether this is a relationship you wish to continue with....
2007-01-26 17:11:51 · answer #3 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
Learn to play by the same rules. Let him know that you will not be left behind again. He has set the rules and decides what he wants to do so you will play by the same rules. If he is going to go out with his friends then you are going out also. If he gets to do whatever he wants then you will also. Just be prepared to back it up. If you have to get a babysitter and go out then do it. You deserve to be a equal in a marriage.
2007-01-26 17:43:36 · answer #4 · answered by sexyladyinak 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Stop asking if you can go out and tell him you are going out.
I have been married for 35 years to the same man.
If i do not want to go then I ask if I can go...If I want to go...I tell him I am going and leave.
Grant you I do not go out that much...but I have.
Being at home with the kids all the time is ruff.
I use to buy groceries and do the shopping at night just to get out of the house.
Maybe start there. He just does not want to watch the son.
Or be 3 years old and say...OK My Turn!!!
2007-01-26 17:38:25 · answer #5 · answered by jeeccentricx2 5 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Find a person to take your kids for a few hours. I think your husband is losing you. I dont know what kind of person he is when it comes to temper. Takes two to make a marriage work.
2007-01-26 17:23:27 · answer #6 · answered by NativeBear 2 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Your husband gets to do whatever he wants because you let him. You don't get to do anything you want because you allow him to boss you around.
Since it's starting to affect your son in addition to yourself, how about you grow a spine and stand up for yourself? When you're dead, do you want your son to remember you as "the doormat"?
2007-01-26 17:13:21 · answer #7 · answered by Liz 7 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Realistically, this is your routine and has been for 41/2 years. He doesn't care when you want him to stay hom so put your emotions aside and do something for you for a change!
2007-01-26 17:12:29 · answer #8 · answered by Bryan's Wife 4 · 1⤊ 0⤋
because you are allowing this to happen, he has no right to
get upset when you go out with the girls, he does what he want
to do, time for you do what you want to do, he a controlling'you
and that not good at all. time to get counseling to dea with
this or time to let him know that you are not putting up with
this bull any more, this week end call the girls and say we
are going out and then let him know that you and your son
can hang, see ya.lll
2007-01-26 17:18:47 · answer #9 · answered by luckystar 6 · 2⤊ 0⤋
he's totally insecure. what if you just left while he was out? would he get violent on your return? if so, you have to leave now. can you get a babysitter?
do you let him just tell you what to do? when did that start and why do you let him do that?
your friends probably already pick up on it and resent him for the way he bosses you around.
what a jerk...
thanks for the question - mental note to self not to be like this.
2007-01-26 17:17:45 · answer #10 · answered by perfect_picasso 2 · 1⤊ 0⤋