advice please?

Question

ok so i go to a small highschool where everyone knows everyone.. i talk to everyone in my grade but im closer to two girls. i have a tendancy to gossip a lot and people no that about me. i try to stop but i guess once you have that rep it sticks with you. but tonight my friend and i got in a hudge fight and she called me a cheat, a gossip and said no1 trusted me.. i kinda knew people thought i gossiped a lot but i never rreally thought they talked about me behind my back. tonight really opened my eyes up to thinking that ihave no friends ican trust... i have no friends that trust me and no friends in general...what should i do

ive tried to stop gossiping but everyone assumes i no everything so they wont trust me with a secret to gain their trust back

Answer 1

Now is a good time to make a fresh start. Make a commitment to yourself that you will absolutely not gossip anymore. EVER. I know it is hard but it will get easier as time goes by. If you are in a situation where other people are gossiping and bad talking others, you need to remove yourself..quickly! Stay away from the temptation to listen. It will take a while before people will be able to trust you again. But you will feel so much better about yourself! And eventually people will see that you have changed. Good luck!

Answer 2

there's this saying that i know in spanish that goes "create a reputation and then go to sleep". basically what this means is that once you have a certain rep, good or bad, its like you dont have to anything else to preserve it. no matter what, it wont go away. aint that sad? i do have to tell you that you shouldnt be saying that you have no friends you can trust like if you were a victim, because you were the one to get yourself in this mess. however you do have options to make it all better. you can decide who amongst you recent friends was a real friend to you, find a friendship worth saving (if there is one) which you should because you do say that you attend a small school, and there must then not be a lot of options for good friends, and im sure you dont want to end up a lonely girl, so you decide to save your friendship(s), and the first thing that you have to do is prove to your friends that they can trust you not to open you mouth and gossip. You can do this by not gossiping to them about anybody or anything. there are other ways, that's not the only one, but its your job to find them. the other option is to find new friends (which may not be so easy) and resolve to not be different with them from the very beginning. be honest, dont gossip to or about anybody, ect. everytime you feel like you are about to gossip, stop and think to yourself "its not right i wont do it" and try hard not to.
sometimes we dont mean to hurt people when we do certain things that we believe are harmless. but when you realize they are, and you really want to change them, you should try hard to accomplish what you want.
you broke something, now its time to put it back together.

Answer 3

Well sweetie, unfortunately when being a gossip the reputation follows you. You're "friends" will never believe that you are their friends, because they'll always be wondering what you're saying behind their back. So they'll never be able to trust you. If you want to be trustworthy than you'll have to stop gossiping. I know it's hard but you have to keep your mouth shut. No one wants to be friends with someone with a big mouth. Gain they're trust back and you'll have friends. You have to prove to everyone that you're not a gossip. Good luck sweetie!

Answer 4

First, you say that you have friends that can't be trusted. You can't be trusted either. You should work harder on keeping your mouth close. Gossiping is not a good thing. Most people do not like someone that gossip and tel everything that they know. People want to know that they can trust you and they can't. If you don't have anything good to say than don't say it at all. treat people the way you want to be treated. If you want people to gossip about you than you treated people the way you wanted to be treated well.

Answer 5

Admit to your friends that you have been guilty of gossip and resolve to stop. Ask for their help in reminding you of your vow if you start to stray.

You are right, nobody can trust you. Tonight you start rebuilding your life. It may take several years before people see you will not gossip nor will you listen to gossip. It is hard to walk away from it because it is so "interesting." But gossip is slander......and evil.

Friends are made through giving of yourself by example and action, not expecting others to give to you.

Answer 6

i guess you know now that you not the only person who gossips and i know it probably hurts just imagine what you have said about other people and how they felt now the shoe is on the other foot its not so nice is it? just remember that what goes around comes around and the next time somebody tries to tell you something about someone just tell that everybody business is no body's business and you don't care to hear about it but trust me you can change your ways but people will always know you as a gossiper but don't you worry about what people think or say that's if you change because you know deep inside you a different person and baby you don't need friends to succeed in life you still young you'll know who your friends are and what you describing just sound like associates because they come and go but friends are forever don't worry yourself just be you and good luck

Answer 7

Stop gossiping and talking about other people. Find something postive to say, people don't trust you because they fear you are going to talk about them behind there backs. You need to lose that reputation being a gossiper and then you will have true friends.

Answer 8

I know that this is gonna sound kinda mean, but try to cut back on the gossip. Tell your friend that your sorry and that you never meant to hurt her or anyone else. If she is a real friend, she'll accept your apology, but if she was a super friend, she would have talked to you about your gossip problem instead of getting mad at you about it.

Answer 9

It sucks to know THATS LIFE! You can really only trust yourself. If your getting better at the bad things you were doing, you know it keep it up!!!! In a few years you will be getting outa highschool and getting away from them all. So just make yourself the best you! Nobody else willl!!! Listen to what people say... Try ( i know i am still working on this) to not take it to heart what people say and change what you dont like. If you love your self right. You will move on one step at a time and build your trust back up.

Answer 10

its good that you can see where you are wrong. you have to learn how to control your gossiping and learn to keep secrets to yourself. once you start to do this and can prove to you friends that you can your true friends will come back. it might take awhile but it will be the best thing. and one good way to stop gossiping is not to know what is going on..if someone starts to tell you something just say i dont' wanna know its not my business..one it will say you are trying to change and two you won't have any material to gossip about so you can't gossip. its kill two birds with one stone kinda thing. good luck