Should I ask my friend if it's ok to talk to her bf?

Question

My very, very best friend has been dating this guy for about eight months now. I just met him this summer, because they both live several states away from me, and we're pretty much friends now. He's an absolutely wonderful guy and they're pretty much in love with each other. They're both great people. Anyway, they've been having a couple of little problems and he recently asked if we could talk sometime about stuff in general, but also about her. Not bad stuff, obviously, we both love her (in different ways), just so he can kind of try to figure her out a little more. Should I let her know that I'm talking to him about her and stuff, just to be sure it's ok? And can I tell him stuff that she told me? Not private stuff that she definitely doesn't want him to know, just a little bit of her sides of the issue? I think sometimes there's stuff you can't really work out face-to-face and it would help a little to have me as kind of a go-between on some stuff.

There's definitely no chance of me going anywhere past friendship with this guy, just to clear that up.

Ok, more clearing up...it wouldn't be giving advice so much, mostly just listening to what he thinks. Basically, he said I would be the one who would understand the most and he just wanted somebody to listen.

Answer 1

You know, if she was truly your best friend, why would she have a problem if you talk to her bf. Freinds trust each other & at the end of it She will understand that it was a goodwill gesture. You know when couples are having a fight, they are so involved in what they themselves are saying, that they completely ignore what the other person is saying. And if you are goin to be the one to put that msg across...what's the big deal. When things are back to normal with them, she will surely thank you. Sometimes its best not to tell. Good Luck.

Answer 2

This is an issue that they both need to work out face to face with out you in the middle. IF you want you can set them both up have one met you at a certain destination at a certain time and then call the other one and have them to meet you at that same destination a little after that time so that way you can get both face to face and sit them both down and explain to them that communication is the key to keep a relationship together and right now that is what they need to be doing without you in the middle. Also let them know that the only way that they will know what their true feelings are for one another is communicating and talking it out they can not run to get you everytime they have a disagreement cause one day your gonna be off living your life with your husband and you will not be there to be the refree so they have to learn how to express their feeelings to one another face to face whether they want to or not they have to get use to it and right now is the perfect timing. Let them know that you love them both as the friends they are to you but you just do not wanna be in the middle. You go away and leave them there to talk about whatever is bothering them. That is the only way they will work this out. You don't want your friend to start assuming anything about you and him cause you talk to him so let them do their own talking do not even get in the middle of that no way.

Answer 3

I think that you should just not take sides. Even though she is your best friend and you want to help her with the relationship, the only thing you can do is listen and give advice when asked for it. Sometimes being mediator in a relationship is not good, especially when you are friends with both. It might sound rude but I believe that no one should interfere in any way in relationships, even more when its a friend. There is nothing better than just being there for both but always remember not to take a side because they can both be right and wrong at the same time.So i suggest you don't tell anything about ur friend to her bf and nothing about him to her. They should just talk about it by themselves. So if u want to help just advise them to talk to each other in a clear honest way.

Answer 4

if this girl is really your best friend you should not talk to him.Well you should make her talk to him.Because she is going out with him.Well it will be kind of hard to talk about it to face to face but you know you she has to get it out of her system.But if it is bring her down like in a depressed way than go up to her boy friend and tell him about what is going on!And does she really know that you are going to tell him or not.Well if she does not know about all of this that just tell her of what your going to do but only if she said if it is okay or unless if she wants to talk to him about the issue.Because some how it is going to come out no matter what because she just can't keep the issue in for so many days because she might be upset about it every day.I hoped i helped you a whole lot or a little bit.

Answer 5

I think the two of them should work out their problems face to face.
What are they going to do if they get married and live together someday? Are they going to invite you over to solve their problems for them at that point in their lives, too?
They have difficulties communicating and if you get involved, I don't see their situation improving. If anything, it would probably just get worse.
I talked to one of my friends boyfriends about his and her relationship once before and my friend ended up getting really upset with me. She even went as far as to accuse me of trying to steal her man.
If you really feel that you could help out, that's very considerate of you but you should at least talk to your friend first and make sure it's okay.
Also, if they can't talk about things together, no one else can really help them with that, aside from a counselor who deals with this type of thing professionally.
Good luck!

Answer 6

its okay to talk to him, you know just, but there is no need really. And anyway, if he loves ur friend, then he should be able to understand her, not ask her friends about her. but yes, you should tell your friend before talking such things if it losens cretaed tension and if you want to dont tell him even side stuff, your friend might get offended. According to me, you should just be as cool as ever around them and tell them to clear things out by themselves, because in the future, you dont want that they fight saying that he had to take your help to understand her.
and you dont really know they have a big problem. maybe they are just normal problems friends go through. so dont worry. you might be getting really worried and protective because she is your friend.

Answer 7

Stay out of it and be there for your girlfriend. The last time something like this happened the "friend" ended up with the husband and they have a baby together now. That's the ultimate betrayal. (I'm not saying that is gonna happen in this case but it's best to stay clear of her man...........let him complain to his buddies)

Answer 8

As long as you are letting your best friend know exactly what is going on and what you are discussing, then I think it is fine. You do not want this to be miscontrued and lose a friend over a guy! Good luck!

Answer 9

BE CAREFUL - Even though this is your best friend HE is still her boyfriend. If anything goes wrong with your suggestions, they could blame YOU. Just ask her how she feels about the matter. If you value the friendship, always proceed with caution.

Answer 10

I think if it rocks your boat go for it heck you may even be able to save a relationship just tell her because if you don't you won't have a best friend nemore i kno i started hangin out with my new bff and my other bff left me