I have been happily married for 5 and a half years.
And a couple of weeks ago my friend and I were invited to a Passion party for Girls Only. I told my husband about it and he didn't say no until tonight. Which was not even a half hour before I had to be there. My friend had a baby sitter set up and I ended up having to call her up at the last minute to tell her I wasn't going because my husband asked me not to go. She ended up going alone and I'm hurt because I hurt my best friends feelings but at the same time my husband asked me not to go and I had to respect that!
I dont know what my question really is but
MEN: would you let your Lover go to an ALL GIRLS Passion party?
WOMEN: What would you have done in this situation?
And How can I show my best friend that I'm really sorry and that my husband is not a bad guy for asking for me not to go? My Husband was in tears over this!
2007-01-26 15:42:44 · 10 answers · asked by Anonymous in Family & Relationships ➔ Marriage & Divorce
I did try to explain to him what goes on in these party's but He didn't want to listen.. He just walked out of the room..
He tried getting out of this all day because he didn't want to be alone tonight watching our son.
Our son was hurt too because He was excited to hang out with just his daddy!
I haven't been out alone with my friends for about 4 and a half years! Now I'm in tears =(
But now he is out doing what he wanted to do!
2007-01-26 16:08:10 · update #1
OH NO girlfriend...
You must realize that you are not an extension of your husband and that, even though you are joined in matrimony, you are still your own person. It sounds to me like he has some maturing to do and is probably a bit selfish. You should have gone to the party with your friend. He should have been happy to stay home and hang out with the boy. He should have been happy that you were going to an all girl party and not to a swingers club. You have to be able to be yourself in a marriage. You cannot force the other person to do what you want for no good reason. You need to have a serious heart to heart discussion about him controlling every aspect of your life and you need to stand up for yourself. Your husband may not be a bad guy, but asking you not to go for such a selfish reason is BAD! Why would be be in tears over you going to a party with your friend and enjoying yourself. My advice would be to nip this controlling, selfish behavior in the bud before it gets out of control. You can't force your spouse to do things you want them to do. You have to give them the freedom to make their own choices. Forcing someone to do something through emotional blackmail is not nearly as satisfying as them making a choice to do the same thing.
Yes, I would never stand in the way of my wife wanting to do something as harmless as going to a girl party. You should never have stayed home as he really had no reason to keep you there. Wake up! Have a very serious talk with him about this. Otherwise, this behavior will worsen...
2007-01-26 19:31:54 · answer #1 · answered by j_mang 3 · 2⤊ 0⤋
Does your husband know what a passion party is? Maybe you should explain what it is. Is isn't a stripper show! It is a party displaying toys for two in a relationship to share, not outside a relationship. If he would have known what the deal was, he would not have been so upset about it.
If it had been me, I would have told him what goes on at the party in detail! If he still would have been like no, I would have said SO I AM GOING! But that is just me.
Respect has to go both ways. He isn't respecting you by demanding you can't go as if you are his child and you were going against your vows. You are his wife, not his little girl. There is nothing wrong with these parties and he needs to get over his insecurities. I would have been upset if I were your friend too because it wasn't fair for you to back out at the last minute because he is having a temper tantrum. All you can tell your friend now is I am sorry. Don't expect her to not be upset for a while. Give her time to accept your apology and respect her decision as to how she feels about your apology.
2007-01-26 15:58:36 · answer #2 · answered by Ms. Chick 6 · 3⤊ 0⤋
I would have asked him why he doesn't want me to go. Why is he saying this at the last minute. Is your husband depressed about something ? Has he been stressed out lately ? If none of these apply, is this some form of him trying to be controlling. I would have to know the whole story. I would've been pissed that he waited til the last minute, I probably would have gone, but when you said he was crying, that's a different story.
2007-01-26 15:51:18 · answer #3 · answered by Anonymous · 2⤊ 0⤋
As a husband I would have willingly told my wife to go to the party and have fun, knowing that she will be home with me after the party and not be worried about whether or not she will be faithful to me. As for him waiting until the last possible moment to ask you not to go was not only a mean thing to do, it was also mean and nasty!! Shame on your husband!!!
2007-01-26 15:50:41 · answer #4 · answered by dragondave187 4 · 4⤊ 0⤋
Okay first i have to ask you What in the world is a Passion party for girls only???? I would not have done this to my husband or marriage and i would ask him first anyways... This does not sound like a good party or situation to even be in if you are married....
2007-01-26 15:55:36 · answer #5 · answered by Lady Hewitt 6 · 0⤊ 3⤋
im sorry but it sounds like your husband is not secured in your marriage my g/f has been to one and i dont mind her going to me its like a womans night out with friends i know what happens at a passion party and she tells me what all went on i see nothing wrong with you going to it but your husband needs to let you have fun if he's that insecure with you going then theres a problem. its not like your going to see another man.
2007-01-26 15:55:08 · answer #6 · answered by jeff g 1 · 3⤊ 0⤋
If I were remarried - my wife would not be chained to me. Besides, a Passion party could SPICE things up a bit...
2007-01-26 15:54:57 · answer #7 · answered by seancanputt 2 · 3⤊ 0⤋
I think you should of gone, if your son wanted to have a man to son night out.
2007-01-27 06:30:40 · answer #8 · answered by Emily W 1 · 2⤊ 0⤋
i am sure she will understand. as for your husband he may just have some insecurities.
2007-01-26 15:49:57 · answer #9 · answered by tracey 3 · 5⤊ 0⤋
Tears he must be very kind.
2007-01-26 15:48:57 · answer #10 · answered by Em 3 · 3⤊ 0⤋