He doesn't give a crap about my bounderies.. and so I told him that he is out of our lives until he can stop bullying me and my kids... My question is... how to tell my family? I don't want them to feel punished for this persons bullying of me and my kids... but I will no longer take my kids to family functions is this person is there...
2007-01-26 14:57:13 · 9 answers · asked by Anonymous in Family & Relationships ➔ Other - Family & Relationships
Well, you should tell them for good or for bad. If he is really being that horrible, someone needs to tell him and let him know that it's absolutely not ok! I understand you want to be around your family, but they should be supportive in wanting this person to stop treating you all like this. I'd be suprised if they didn't invite you and leave HIM out until he proves that he's changed. If they don't, at least you were honest with them, and they should understand the reason behind you not going, and if they feel punished, its more likely because they knew they could help change it and didn't! You need to protect your children, and disrespect and making them feel uncomfortable at family gatherings is going to do nothing but bad for them. Good for you for sticking up for them!
2007-01-26 15:03:30 · answer #1 · answered by kswildangel 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
It's good you are not taking any more crap from this guy, but are missing family functions going to be bad for your kids? Talk to your family ... maybe it is he that should be given the boot. One other strategy in the mean time is to go to function ... raise nine kind of hell of he does anything. Bully my butt, dress him down majorly in front of all if he doesn't immediately capitulate. Don't let a bully dictate where you go. I'm a single parent with three girls ... they live with me, though I happen to be dad. They are all teenagers now. They all have strong personalities, and are not intimidated easily. The girls were always secure in the knowledge that messing with them would bring dad and the perp would think they were in a WWF cage match ... don't back down, go to your family functions, kick some you know what ... wish I could go with. :)
2007-01-26 15:11:59 · answer #2 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
been there, done that, just go for short visits to a family function and the one that is disrespectful put on complete ignore.
dont let them get any attention from u at all.
seems like they want attention thru negative means.
the member is probably jealous of u to do this to u and your kids.
dont let one bad apple spoil the whole bunch
u have the right to family function, the bad apple needs an attitude adjustment.
write a letter to the member and be open and honest.
u folks get along now, and be mature and positive
2007-01-26 15:03:12 · answer #3 · answered by sunflare63 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I see some pretty good answers on this one already, but my $0.02....
Kudo's for standing your ground!
Don't let this person keep you away from the rest of your family though - and its a tough spot if you make them choose. I like the person's suggestion above to go to "mutual" events but stay for only a short period of time. Communicate in advance, but quietly, to your family of the situation and the stand you've made. If they're aware, and if you and he are at a function, then they know to see you quick before you're gone.
Very tough situation though. Best of luck.
2007-01-26 15:08:53 · answer #4 · answered by going_crazy_30m 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Address each situation as it arises. Keep it simple and plain. You do not need to explain yourself to anyone. Statements like "Oh will Jon be there? I'm sorry we have made other plans."
Or, "I'm sorry Jon and I have had a disagreement and I cannot attend." Or "I'm sorry, we won't be able to attend your party but we would like to see you sometime soon." then make plans for another time. Good luck and stick to your decision!! Don't let anyone guilt you!!
2007-01-26 15:04:57 · answer #5 · answered by Barbiq 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
i had that happen with my mom. didn't talk to her for a year, she comes around now to see my kid at my house only cuz i won' let them go to hers, when she is here i go do my own thing and don't talk much to her everyone knows how i feel about her includung my kids. some things are just what they are. never liked her and never will. i say tell it like it is.
2007-01-26 15:05:48 · answer #6 · answered by openminded 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Just explain to ur family memebers WHY ur not attending and if they still dont understand then tell them to ask him OR tell him that they also do not like his attitude and it must stop or else he wont be welcome !
2007-01-26 15:02:06 · answer #7 · answered by shark38dd 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
if anyone is nosey enough to ask let them know that this person makes you uncomfortable b/c they are very controlling then stand your graund... you go mom
2007-01-26 15:01:05 · answer #8 · answered by Kelly A 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
that is a tough situation...but i say good for you for putting your foot down. that's exactly what i would have done.
2007-01-26 15:00:51 · answer #9 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋