Nigerian Men?

Question

I didn't mean that to sound narrow minded. I guess I worded things badly. I just wish that he was different. He is very verbally and emotionally abusive but I don't know what to do because of our daughters. And my son( his stepson) would be crushed if we ever got divorced because of the fact that he keeps saying that we are now a real family even though he doesn't live with us. But I apologize for generalizing.

Answer 1

I hate to be mean and generalizing, but you really need to be careful of Nigerian men. There have been a flood of these men who move here, use American women, and have wives/girlfriends/children in their native home. They will lie to get what they want, and after years of the charade they leave the woman, take her money, and sometimes use whatever he got from this woman to take care of his family in Nigeria. They will have babies with these American women, but they don't like mixed breeded children. They are considered "unpure breeds" because they don't have pure Nigerian bloodline. Even in their own country, they are very corrupt. So do you think they will be less corrupt here? Some of them even get fake names and live years here as another name.

Girl run away! Do your research on him. I have heard of ALOT of women who were with Nigerians for years and then later ripped off or left after years of being in a relationship. If he is already being abusive, it might just be because he doesn't respect American women, and you are a pawn to get what he wants. I am so sorry for telling you this, but do your research and you will see the scams of men in Nigeria. I am not saying all Nigerians are this way, but many of them do not believe in mixing and mingling in other natives like that without a payoff. Please move on with your life, change all your accounts, and make sure he doesn't have access to your funds. Have you ever wondered what he is doing while you aren't living together? He sounds like one of these men. Please Please be careful.

Answer 2

Ok, but I KNOW what you mean. The Nigerian men I've met who came here to, "get an education," and then fathered children, in EVERY case have NOT been responsible, or respectful. IMO they feel what they create here is not a ligitimate situation. A few have taken the children to visit family in Nigeria, but the majority do not take care of the children and are arrogant jerks. They feel superior to blacks here. I've even heard some allow their African American children to be referred to as, "the white man's children," by their families back home.
Yes, we shouldn't generalize. However, these men have come over here and treated sistas like they were some toss away sex toys. Any babies made are not important for the most part.
Look, let the arrogant idiot go. "O'reh O' dah!" (One of their favorite sayings!) His head is DEFINITELY broken. What he says is not worth what the little bird left on the fence (if you get my meaning.) He doesn't live with you, he doesn't support you, and you TAKE his abuse? WHY? Wise up! Rise up! Tell the man to be gone! You can do bad all by yourself.
Your children's hearts are already broken by a man who disrespects their mother! Your daughters are learning what to accept in a man from YOU.

Answer 3

That's their culture. You might have wanted to check that one out before having kids with him.

You might want to remind him he's in America now and then slap him with a divorce suit.

Answer 4

I strongly recommend the counsel of a wise woman, maybe a few years your senior, and you can often easily find such a woman by contacting the minister at a neighborhood church. Such a woman can deliver the kind of medicine you need and support you through the very difficult times. You need someone to lean on.