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I'm married and my friend is in a relationship. We've spent so many good times together. My wife spends most of her time in other peoples business. She acts like she don't like sex much and me and my friend been getting it on like crazy in the past. We still keep in touch and she say that she loves me and at the same time me and my wife get along well. She's a nice person but I'm still in love with my friend.Before me and my wife got married she was'nt giving it up cause she said that she wanted to wait, she gave it up after 3 years but at that time me and my best friend been doing the do if ya know what i'm saying. What should I do? I need some advice especially from a woman point of view.

2007-01-26 14:45:12 · 13 answers · asked by Anonymous in Family & Relationships Marriage & Divorce

13 answers

Yes. Its called polyamory. But all parties must be completely aware ...otherwise its called cheating. Do some research, talk to your wife and tell her how you feel. It is possible, but you must be willing to take the consequences of your actions if you step up to the plate. The wife has to be completely secure in her relationship with you, its not the man having his cake and eat it too...its about trust. Do you trust your wife enough to be honest with her ? Do you respect her enough to tell her that you want to have two women in you life ? Im not talking about a threesome. Think of it this way....do you know how impossible it for one woman to a man's EVERYTHING ? Every woman, like a spice is different and palatable. Some men are happy with just salt for ever and always. Others want to have it all but kept it hidden. Do yourself a favor and ask yourself, what do you really want out of YOUR life ? Is your wife going to be happy with your decision ? Do you think its fair to your friend to kept in her limbo forever ?? My fiance and I have a open communicative relationship. We tried polyamory once but found it difficult to find a person that would "fit" with our way of thinking. So be aware, just because you may be poly, other people in your life more than likely are not and they may feel insecure with your lifestyle no matter how much you try to ease their comfort level. But you can never have your cake and eat it to... no matter if you keep things as they are....or bring them out in the open, its always a difficult decision and never easy, but its the honest thing to do.

2007-01-26 17:20:06 · answer #1 · answered by juicyapplejazz 2 · 1 1

Yes, it's possible to be in love with two people at once, but what you are doing is unfair to your wife. And unless both women agree to a special "arrangement" between the three of you, you cannot keep it going on like this.

You need to make a decision. Either divorce your wife and pursue this relationship with your "friend." Or tell the friend it's over and try to work on things with your wife.

2007-01-26 14:53:12 · answer #2 · answered by Anonymous · 0 0

I think the think what your friend likes about you is that you are not available. If you left your wife she may lose interest. It's a shady situation. I would say that since the damage is done you might as well stay with status quo - just don't mistreat your wife because of your friend. You know what I mean?

I know that's not going to be popular with a lot of ladies, but they are the same ones that hate when men cheat on them, but they have no trouble falling for a guy who already has a girlfriend and will try to steal him away from her. Girls are just as shady as guys if not worse.

2007-01-26 14:53:55 · answer #3 · answered by John P 6 · 0 1

If you are talking about "love" as in "being in love" ie partner, spouse, boyfriend, girlfriend etc then I don't think so. I suppose it depends on if you act on it or not.

For instance, you are in love with person A. Person B comes along, and you fall head over heels for them. If you do anything with person B, then I don't think you can truly love person A - if you did:

a)You wouldn't do anything with person B
b)You wouldn't want to hurt person A if/when it all came out (as it usually eventually does)

That's my opnion anyways. I've been person A, and no metter how much I heard "it was all a mistake", and " it's you I love" etc etc, I couldn't get past the feeling that if he DID love me as he said, he wouldn't have done anything with person B in the first place.

2007-01-26 14:56:43 · answer #4 · answered by Anonymous · 0 0

Well just as a woman if you are in love with this other woman it is not even fair to your wife to just keep her hanging on. Be honest with her and have a discussion and either the two of you will become closer or you will get with the other one. You probably love one and you are in love with the other one.

2007-01-26 14:54:02 · answer #5 · answered by Anonymous · 1 0

i wanna call you names but i wont. just think if you got together with her you will end up the same as you and you wife. its the thrill of it. then when you have some body that you know that will be with you for the rest of you life you know she will always be there for you and there will be hard time and good times but thats what a marrage is i think you should read this. www.wikihow.com/Weigh-the-Costs-of-Cheating-on-Your-Wife

2007-01-26 14:55:16 · answer #6 · answered by boo_1313 2 · 0 0

what's to change or feel guilty about now u've been doing the "do" for years now so I guess u r in love with two different women for different things. Some Mormons do it Solomaon had over 300 wives why can't u?

2007-01-26 14:51:54 · answer #7 · answered by papabeartex 4 · 0 0

I BELIEVE YOU CAN HAVE TWO LOVES, BUT NOT WHEN YOU ARE STILL MARRIED. I THINK IF A DIVORCE OR DEATH HAPPENS ,YOU COULD LOVE AGAIN. BUT THE WAY THINGS ARE GOING WITH YOU, I DON'T THINK YOU CAN LOVE BOTH WOMEN. I DON'T THINK YOU CAN LOVE YOUR WIFE AND BEEN DOING THE DO. IF YA KNOW WHAT I'M SAYING

2007-01-26 14:58:45 · answer #8 · answered by bettys 4 · 0 0

I say let your wife know whats going and she will decide whether she stays or leaves you. If she stays then you need to be faithful if she leaves then your free to be with your "friend" but regardless you need to come clean with your wife ASAP!

2007-01-26 14:51:49 · answer #9 · answered by chemky1 3 · 0 0

Nope

2007-01-26 14:55:03 · answer #10 · answered by Anonymous · 0 0

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