moms have i overstepped my boundaries as a step mom?

Question

i went to a parent/teacher conference with my new husband for the 1st time and this really pissed his exwife off.she had to go by herself.she feels she should go with my husband not me and i have no right going since i'm not her sons mom.she made such a stink the school asked my husband to keep me away to avoid any more problems.since this happened she has done other things to let me know she will always be queen bee since she has a son with my husband and i don't.my husband and her both have joint custody and he does not agree with this but will not go against her in fear it will hurt his son.was she right to act this way?should i just back off with kids stuff till she finds a new husband to keep her busy?

Answer 1

I think that she may have some serious emotional problems that she needs to deal with. I wouldn't mind if my ex's new wife took an interest in the education of my children. Having more people to love them can only be a positive point in their lives.

Answer 2

From a mom who deals with a step mom. What it comes down too is that for awhile I felt completely threatend by my son's step mom. I felt in some weird irrational way Her taking any interest in my children was in some way a challenge. Looking back its not, and never will be. Now she is my biggest supporter when things go down with the ex and we don't see eye to eye.
The thing that helped a lot on her part was she stepped back on her own. She decided to wait to start going to parent teacher conferences and things, till I was over being childish.
When that time came, she came to me herself. She said she was hpoing I wouldn't mind but, she would like to sit in on " Zack's " parent teacher conference so that she could help out with anything, and would know what was going on. She said that is if its ok with you.
That helped a lot.
Right now just play it safe and take a back seat approach for now. Get the info from your hubby, and make baby steps until mom isn't so freaked out.

Answer 3

they are definatley stepping over the barriers. you are the discern and theyare no longer you need to be waiting to head with the place they are in a position to take your infant and you mustn't ought to placed up with the crap of being advised each little factor they think of your doing incorrect. Your mom has had her turn now that's yours in the journey that your quickly to be step dad hasn't had babies possibly he basically sounds like he needs that may well be useful you yet while he hasn't had babies how could he be waiting to critize you? i think of they are overstepping the barriers. :D wish they ease up :D

Answer 4

You and your husband should go together. You do not need to set anywhere near the ex. What is the problem? The child needs to start understanding the two families and what is expected at each house.

Answer 5

She is definitely jealous. Probably lonely. 100% unreasonable. It sounds like you have the kid's best interest in mind. Don't take it personally. Your hubby should know that by letting his ex dictate your relationship with the kid, he is encouraging disrespect. He should respectfully tell her that you are part of the kids family now, and will continue to be involved. Backing down to her will not help.

Answer 6

My opinion is that she should be thankful that you care about the children enough to take an interest in their education. Your stepson will appreciate your interest in him and this kind of behavior will only backfire against the ex. Stand your ground.

Answer 7

YOu have the right. She is the ex, if she wants to go, she should go alone, not with your husband who is not her husband anymore. So tell your husband not to go if the ex goes.