Here is my situation.....I have this "friend" who I have known since high school. In the early stages of our so called friendship everything appeared "cool" and we would hang out almost on a daily basis but I always had the idea in my head that things were too good to be true. Over time though I started to convince myself that maybe she might be a legit friend. Lately though it seems that the only time we hang is when she needs a favor or a ride somewhere. Im strongly starting to believe now that we are only friends because I have a car and money. Now I'm the type of person that if I feel that someone is being shady then I will call them out on it. The only problem that I have with the "being blunt" tactic is that if I'm wrong then it makes me look like an *** and I destroy a friendship. What is the best way to handle this situation?
2007-01-26 14:20:15 · 14 answers · asked by Anonymous in Family & Relationships ➔ Friends
If that is "all" she is asking, then she "IS" using you. I have been used so many times it isn't funny. I get invited over, because they knew I would clean their house, or buy them food, or take them out, if I didn't have any money or wouldn't do that for them, then I would get talked about, and cursed at, so.... dump her.. don't play into her hands. If it has only been like a few times.. then don't sweat it though... if that is the only thing she does whenever she calls... then for real... she is using you.
2007-02-02 15:30:30 · answer #1 · answered by chrystalbelle 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Call her on it. She is supposed to be responsible for herself. I don't understand these people who think that the world owes them something. I was always the richest in the group. My parents were assistant principal and counselor in high schools.
I don't understand how these kids act as if it's my fault that their parents close the books and open their legs as teens. I can't help that they're on welfare and don't know who there fathers are whereas I've known my old man since day one. I have had disabilities since day one as well, but have never let it exempt me from working. It's all right for them to be disability-free and not use their gift, but wrong for me to be well-off and not use my disabilities as a crutch. I had 30 seizures from '95-'99 at work due to stress and missed a day of work. Those kids and adults are lazy.
2007-02-03 12:43:13 · answer #2 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
Turn the tables on her a little. Ask her to come over to hang out and watch a movie or something whenever you know that she doesn't have anything else to do. If she doesn't want to come over then she is pro bally just been using you like you suspected. This way you don't feel like an *** , and you find out if she's a real friend.
2007-01-26 15:10:24 · answer #3 · answered by kk bear 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
In this situation, I don't think "being wrong" really matters, because you think your friend may just be using you, and that is something that needs to be brought to her attention. It may just be that your friend depends on you for things. Misunderstandings do happen in friendships, and so do mistakes. Your friend may apoligize for not appriciating you like she should. Either way, you need to talk to your friend to know for sure where you stand and that you don't appriciate being used. You need to use communication to get anywhere with people.
2007-01-26 14:55:10 · answer #4 · answered by ♥ misschels ♥ 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Ask them!
"Friends name, I know this may sound like a stange question but I really value our friendship and all my friendships are really important to me. I may be making it up but sometimes I feel like you might like me only for my X, and I am wondering if you could clear this up for me. What do you value in our friendship and why do you like to hang with me? i would be happy to tell you what I value about you!"
2007-02-03 12:49:12 · answer #5 · answered by drjen 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
give it time or i think one day if she asks u 4 a favoure tell her u cant grant it .a true friend will understand. and do u get anythin from this friendship? IF u dont then i guess it is time to call it quits. good luck
2007-02-02 20:09:50 · answer #6 · answered by cant sleep 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
give her a taste of her own medicine,just not be available when she needs a favor and see if she still comes around.it doesn't sound like she includes you in her plans.so don't include her.i can't stand people who take advantage of others especially their so called friends.don't feel guilty whatever you do.i'm sure she's not the only friend you have.good luck. pete
2007-01-26 14:45:55 · answer #7 · answered by THE SHADOW 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
try asking her to hang out some other time, when you know she doesn't need something. and try that a couple times and if it doesn't work any of the times, then be blunt.
2007-02-03 12:49:49 · answer #8 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
dont give them anything and just like make them hangout with u at home so u dont need 2 spend money and they only want ur money u can tell then
2007-02-01 14:25:04 · answer #9 · answered by Joe L 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
start saying no to requests.don*t be nasty about it just say sorry i cant help right now.if she a true friend she will accept that if not u may see her in a whole different light
2007-02-03 09:24:34 · answer #10 · answered by jo 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋