See, I still love my husband so much every time I see him I want to hold him but I let him beleive that I don't love him. I don't really want a divorce. We are seperated. He had an affair for 6 months with a co-worker . He wanted the seperation to see if he really want to stay in the marriage even tough I wanted to continue it. He wants to understand why he had the affair and find himself. I'm angry and bitter about him wanting time. We have a 2 year daughter we don't know how to tell her why daddy is out the house.
2007-01-26 13:57:05 · 14 answers · asked by Anonymous in Family & Relationships ➔ Marriage & Divorce
That's a bad situation. I'd let him know you love him. Sometimes it's best to forgive. You don't forget but you can forgive. He sounds like he's confused and needs the time even thought it's hurting you. It's hard for the child. They don't understand. He needs to let you know what he wants and not leave you dangling on a string. If he wants out, you need to make plans for a future with you and your daughterl I don't know how long this has been going on but the situation needs to be settled now. it;s not fair to leave you hanging like that and not fair for your little girl.
2007-01-26 14:15:32 · answer #1 · answered by Sheena 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
First of all, I probably wouldn't take him back regardless of how much I loved him, if he's had an affair, unless you both went for some serious counseling. Now, with that being said, I would like for you to think about something... What if tomorrow, theres a knock on your door, and it was someone delivering the tragic news that your ex- husband has been killed in an accident. How would you feel about not letting him know that you love him?
Thats all.... think about it.
2007-01-26 14:29:19 · answer #2 · answered by zaytox0724 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
your hurt and just don't want to show your true feelings in case u get more rejection, i fully understand, found myself in the same spot once. yes u will stay bitter and angry until he decides, but truthfully if he has left the family home, it means he is with her, so how can u want to stay married, knowing it could go either way, knowing that even if he did come back, would it be because he loved u or she dumped him. that's why i chose divorce over waiting it out, as i could not have trusted him again ever.it is unfortunate that a child is involved here who misses his daddy. yes it is easy to mask our feeling's i did the same my ex never knew i was dying inside and cried a river, just chose to hide it i guess, fearing more rejection i guess.
2007-01-26 14:10:03 · answer #3 · answered by jude 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
don't tell him you don't love him. stop that now!! he wants to know if you love him so he can really just say that i don't ever want to cheat on my wife again. and you have a child thats asking questions about her daddy. i understand you are mad and angry, but you also have to think about your daughter as well. she doesn't even know what seperate means, so atleast talk to him about the whole situation and tell him that you do still love him and find out what he wants for real then. i promise you he will tell you the truth then. he knows what he has, but have to reassure him that its still there.
2007-01-26 14:06:28 · answer #4 · answered by ken's princess 2 · 2⤊ 0⤋
By telling him that you don't love him and actually do means to me that you don't wanna work things out. Yes he did you wrong by doing what he did but its looks like you're holding a grudge towards what he did. Sweetheart, playing with your feelings and his is something we all do when we're hurt. But its not the right thing. If you really want to work things out than let him know how you feel and how hurt you are.. let him know that you do still love him and wanna work things out before its to late and he moves on with his life and you regret not telling him and he becomes your desired love.. Think about it before you hurt the ones you love and yourself...
2007-01-26 14:07:26 · answer #5 · answered by NENA 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
i would tell him the truth,maybe the marriage can be saved,you would have to forgive the affair first and like he said try to figure out why it happened to begin with,but make sure it's what you really want and that he still loves you!
sometimes when we forget to tell eachother how we feel,we go looking elsewhere to hear it,just a thought!
goodluck!
2007-01-26 14:04:06 · answer #6 · answered by jewel 4 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Try to get over him. Try not to see him any more than you must. To be with him is asking for more trouble. He wanted to find himself? Oh, God! What a worn and corny thing to say! I don't know why you would want a guy who said that.
2007-01-26 14:14:41 · answer #7 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
FIRST OF ALL YOU NEED TO TELL HIM THAT YOU STILL LOVE HIM OTHERWISE HE WILL GO TO ANOTHER WOMANS ARMS AND IT MAY BE TO LATE TO SALVAGE YOUR MARRIAGE. BUT YOU NEED TO TELL HIM THAT YOU CANT WAIT FOR HIM FOREVER BECAUSE YOU HAVE A LIFE TO LIVE TOO.BESIDES TO HAVE A CHILD TOGETHER AND THATS MORE IMPORTANT THAN ANYTHING IN THE WORLD.
PLEASE DONT TEACH YOU DAUGHTER THE SAME THING AS SHE OBSERVES EVERYTHING YOU GUYS DO AND SAY. SO PLEASE DO THE RIGHT THING FOR YOUR CHILD AND RESOLVE THIS PROBLEM AS SHE NEEDS HER MOMMY AND DADDY TOGETHER.
2007-01-26 14:23:57 · answer #8 · answered by mooberry62 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Omg! I am in the same predictament. I tell him that I don't love him and he tries to get closer and show me his feelings, but if I am to tell him that I love him or approach him sexually, he pushes me away. It's a head game I think
2007-01-26 14:06:11 · answer #9 · answered by Jerry S 2 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Quit playing games and get counselling and get on with your lives for the sake of your child.
2007-01-26 14:01:38 · answer #10 · answered by Crispy_Frog 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋