I've been in this relationship 8yrs and for some reason i feel like he don't love me. But every time i leave he come crying and saying he love me. I don't understand i'm 37 so i should know a thing or two but i don't know if i still love him. We were going to get married but he acts like he is scared but he wants us to buy a house together. what should i do i want to work it out but if he don't show some love i'm going to have to say good bye for good. help reply at once.
2007-01-26 13:48:04 · 10 answers · asked by sexychocolate 1 in Family & Relationships ➔ Other - Family & Relationships
You need to examine your own feelings - "for some reason i feel like he don't love me" - why do you feel that way? Is it something he's doing, or not doing? Or something you're doing or not doing? Do you want more from the relationship? Did he change? Did you?
Can it be fixed?
Eight years is a long time to invest in someone.
One piece of advise - don't buy a house, get married, or get pregnant until you know for sure that you'll be together forever.
2007-01-26 13:56:19 · answer #1 · answered by wuxxler 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Leave. If after 8 years he still can't bring himself to marry you, he never will. He wants to play like a married person but not make the actual commitment. He's either scared of commitment or doesn't love you. Either way, it's not fair to you to stay with someone who just wants to play or who doesn't love you 100%. Move on and don't keep taking him back. You can't really work out the fact that he's immature and can't make a choice. That's something he has to do. Get out there and find yourself a guy who loves you and shows it and knows how to make a commitment, not just play house. Good luck!
2007-01-26 21:54:45 · answer #2 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
You've been waiting for some committment for 8 yrs and you don't know if you want to stay because he doesn't show love? Hmmmm. I think you are probably about 5 yrs overdue for love. If he hasn't demonstrated love to you byt now, he never will. He doesn't want you to leave him, because he doesn't want to give up the sex..... thats right, he's been getting sex without showing real love or committment. I doubt you'll get him to change. If you stay strong, not only will he finally faid into the distance, but you'll also see how fast he hooks onto another woman. You my dear have been physically and emotionally used. Time to go. I think the real reason you've stayed so long is because you too are afraid to be alone.
2007-01-26 21:57:42 · answer #3 · answered by westfield47130 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
If no committment to a marriage after 8 years, possibly to avoid the responsibility of a husband, then I would suspect reasons why he wants to buy a house together. Possibly he wants to by a house, just because he's tired of a duplex/apartment. Or maybe because he needs your financial support. Seperating property and assets without being married after severing ties is really messy and expensive (courts).
2007-01-26 21:54:19 · answer #4 · answered by alwaysloved4ever 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
If he loved you and/or were emotionally ready for a commited relationship he would marry you. Don't buy a house without getting married, it will be so convenient for him and he didn't have to marry you. If you really care, try couples therapy, maybe he'll get over his fear. If he doesn't want to, don't waste any more of your time. But you've got to stop taking him back. It's like with wife beaters, they always say they're sorry but they never stop hitting them. Clever girl nailed it.
2007-01-26 21:55:53 · answer #5 · answered by strawberry 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Why don't you guys go to couples therapy? Sometimes a non-judgemental third party will help both of you communicate your deeper feelings and understand the root causes for these fears. If nothing else, it will allow you to understand the other person on a deeper level.
2007-01-26 21:55:45 · answer #6 · answered by joie_du_cor 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
8 years and you havent a clue?? Umm please remove yourself from the gene pool... no sense screweing it up for the rest of us EH?
My answer.. yer an idiot.. PLEASE dont breed.. on behalf of humanity I BEG YOU..
Oh sorry you wanted a feel good politically correct answer didnt you.. sorry i dont do those i call em like I see em.. but not to worry.. I'm sure you can find a buncha touchy feely types out there that will lie to you and tell ya its not yer falt its everyone elses... Go with that and ignore this.. thats what substandards generally do.. No prob..
2007-01-26 21:56:36 · answer #7 · answered by darchangel_3 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
He wants you to buy a house together? I think that he's just sponging off of you.
2007-01-26 21:52:35 · answer #8 · answered by jkrzyzko 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Go. Move on with your life. You know the old saying: if you love someone let them go...
I'd let him go. He's robbing you. He's stealing years that you could be spending with your 'husband'.
You just GO, girl...
2007-01-26 23:09:25 · answer #9 · answered by shees_a_challenge 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
NEVER MARRY SOMEONE YOU HAVE THAT MANY PROBLEMS WITH. THEY WILL ONLY GET WORSE.
2007-01-26 23:09:31 · answer #10 · answered by openminded 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋