I have been dating my boyfriend for a year. I love him very much be he has some fundamental flaws. He was diagnosed with FASD and a lot of his problems are not his fault. Lately I have felt more and more pressure from being with him. Due to his disability and another physical disability he is unable to have a job. He is on a disability program that provides 1000 dollars per month to pay his expenses. I am working full time and even with his money and mine we are just getting by, it is really expensive to live in our city. The problem is that he doesn't really treat me right. Sometimes he will go and get drunk with the money that I give him for my share of the rent. The rent is always paid, however, I usually end up buying his little extras for him since he blows all the money right away, and it is breaking my bank account. Impulsiveness is a symptom of FASD. He also sometimes yells at me or won't talk to me at all when he is drunk.
2007-01-26 13:33:48 · 8 answers · asked by Charlie Girl 4 in Family & Relationships ➔ Marriage & Divorce
He also seems to have serious anger issues, also a symptom. I love him a lot, but all of my friends say that it doesn't matter and I should leave him anyway, that his problems aren't mine. If I go he will have almost no income to pay his bills. What should I do? Should I try and fix things or should I leave? Please help!
2007-01-26 13:35:30 · update #1
Also, I am starting to feel like I can't take this anymore. We fight all the time about little things because he never seems to want anything but his way. Am I being selfish?
2007-01-26 13:37:52 · update #2
Kick him, he's dead weight. You can make it on your own and you don't have to be unhappy. Yes, it is hard. It'll be harder down the road when more time has passed, maybe you're married, maybe you have kids and things suck just as bad or even worse. Misery loves company...but it doesn't have to be YOU.
2007-01-26 14:03:25 · answer #1 · answered by tiny_dog10 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
LEAVE NOW before you end up bankrupt. I wonder if you feel "love" for him because he is disabled? I did not hear anything in your question that indicates he might be KIND to you. Dont for one minute think you can change him or love him enough to make him behave better. YOU CANT...accept that and move on.....give your time and attention to someone who can respect you, someone who can support himself.
And for heavens sake...dont even imagine that you are in any way at fault for his problems.....you are a beautiful child of a loving GOD who deserves to be treated with dignity and respect.
2007-01-26 13:42:14 · answer #2 · answered by Barbara A 5 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Get out before you waste any more time. You can make it on your own and probably would compliment someone closer to your stature. Unless if dating has changed, I don't think it's a requirement to adopt half of the problems you're experiencing. So cut your loses and began reaping the benefits i.e. fewer problems - good luck!
2007-01-26 13:44:54 · answer #3 · answered by flsuave 2 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Sounds like you want out just by reading this question. I think you already know the answer. You can't stay with someone just because you feel bad for them. Good Luck!
2007-01-26 13:41:11 · answer #4 · answered by pearl28 2 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Although it will be really hard what it comes down to is loving yourself first.
You have to make YOU happy.
Do you want to spend the rest of your life like this!?!
It will hurt, and you will be sad but you have to think of the future. Would you want to have kids with this man.
Goodluck!
2007-01-26 13:40:09 · answer #5 · answered by Anonymous · 2⤊ 0⤋
Your last paragraph says it all.Go find yourself someone who will apprecitate you.You have tried with all of your heart by the sounds of it and you deserve better.He has pity for himself but should feel lucky he has a good girl who loves him but he is obviously blind and cannot see that.Good Luck
2007-01-26 13:43:43 · answer #6 · answered by sparky75us 3 · 1⤊ 0⤋
hello your obviously miserable its not your responsibility to take care of him he is capable of taking care of himself why are you torturing yourself get out of there and find someone that will respect you and treat you with dignity. dont use his disability for and excuse for how he acts he still knows right from wrong. get out before you end up in a luny bin
2007-01-26 13:42:39 · answer #7 · answered by angeleyessly 2 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Girl...you better listen to your friends. You can do bad on your own. Get him out. I know that you care for him, but he has issues that aren't going to be resolved anytime soon. Know that when some doors shut, others open. Pray!!!
2007-01-26 13:40:21 · answer #8 · answered by Jerry S 2 · 2⤊ 0⤋