My husband of 7 years and I split up about 3 years ago, and have been divorced for 6 months. We have 2 kids. Our divorce argreement was as follows:He pays me no child support because we have a 50/50 custody agreement. Our expenses are about equal. I pay for medical insurance and after school care, and he pays out of pocket for a physical therapist for our daughter who is not in our HMO. She is the best therapist in the area for the type of condition my girl suffers, so we have been self paying for PT for a long time.
Last year he made $17,000 more that I did.
Now he has decided that since he is in the middle of buying a house, he can't afford to pay for her PT anymore, and that I have to pay for it or she can't go to this therapist anymore. Also the little things I hear from the kids about being over there makes me wonder if they should be with him so much. I don't think he is a good influence to them. Should I just take him back to court or should I try to talk to him about it?
2007-01-26 12:57:21 · 22 answers · asked by RIVER 6 in Family & Relationships ➔ Marriage & Divorce
I should mention that he doesn't pay support because I told the judge I didn't want it, but really I just want to get along with him for the kid's sake. He can be really evil about money.
2007-01-26 12:59:06 · update #1
Listen up, girl!
You take that lowdown SOB into court and not only do you demand he pay for that physical therapy, you DEMAND CHILD SUPPORT! End of story. You don't want it for yourself? No, because it's for the KIDS! Hey, sock it away until they are 18 and then say "Here ya go honey, you can go to Harvard courtesy of your daddy's money!"--see?
Don't you let him get away with ripping those kids off, they are entitled to support!
You can ALWAYS modify the custody agreement--hire yourself a nasty lawyer and then make HIM pay for the attorney's fees.
Good luck sweetie! Keep on keeping on, but don't let him wipe his feet on you or those kiddies anymore!
2007-01-26 13:00:59 · answer #1 · answered by Munya Says: DUH! 7 · 1⤊ 0⤋
First thing to do is to try to talk to him about it. This may save you both from paying attorneys a lot of money. If that doesn't work, consider the age of your child going to PT. How long will she be continuing this therapy? You may end up paying more out in attorneys fees to fight it than you would pay the therapist. As for good influences, a lot of this depends on the State you live in and the judges in the area. Most of the time, if you can't prove neglect, abandonment, and abuse, it's kind of hard to change custody agreements once they are reached. I do believe you should be getting some type of child support so you would probably benefit some from taking him back to court. However, I would weigh all options and try to reach an agreement in the beginning prior to paying an attorney a lot of money for nothing. You may also consider your relationship with your ex since taking him to court will more than likely put a bigger strain on it. Good luck.
2007-01-26 21:13:58 · answer #2 · answered by J B 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I think that he has an obligation to your children, so it should mandated by the court that he pay child support, plus have the children on insurance. What if all of a sudden he decided to not pay child support anymore, because he can't afford it? You have no recourse. So in my opinion, you need to get you an excellent, experienced attorney and take him back to court. The very least he could do is pay 50% of the PT. And just in case, make him take out a life insurance policy on the kids. God forbid anything would happen, but that is just a little extra. You should both have custody, but you being the domicile parent...basically the one in charge. I wish you the best of luck.....
2007-01-26 21:30:24 · answer #3 · answered by cajunrescuemedic 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
You are going to need a sympathetic judge if you take him back to court and the reason I say this is because you, yourself stated you didn't want support. You also said it is in your divorce decree.
I think both of you should sit down and come to some reasonable decision about your daughters health care.
MAYBE he can't afford that particular therapist - perhaps another one would " fit the bill " equally as well.
You mentioned here that you are not to happy about what the children are saying. If you have genuine concerns for their well being then by all means do something about it. Talk to him first, if you don't get anywhere with him then take him back to court
2007-01-26 21:09:58 · answer #4 · answered by That_ blue_ eyed_ Irish_ lass 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Please try to keep the PT issue separate from your belief that his is not the best influence on the kids.
I am not clear how yours is a 50/50 proposition...sounds like you have the lions share of the expenses...what does he pay for besides PT?????
If I were to go back to court in this case, I would DEMAND child support and ask the court to attach his wages if he failed to pay. Not paying for PT is probably just the beginning of his withdrawal from his financial responsibility to his kids.
You may ask the therapist for a reduced rate for service. She may or may not oblige depending on the relationship she has with your daughter and her ability to "write off" the difference.
Good luck
2007-01-26 21:15:58 · answer #5 · answered by Barbara A 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
If you agreed on a 50/50 in custody and now want to change that you will have to contact an attorney to do this maybe..... you should try be the only custody parent and ask for child support, if he is a bad influence to the children
2007-01-26 21:05:35 · answer #6 · answered by Bonduesa 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
The money isnt for YOU or for HIM, its for YOUR childs care. This is not "rent-a-kid". It's a life that both of you created. Been in the same situation as you. I would try to speak to him rationally and then mention to him that if he doesnt try to work with you on this that you will have no choice other than to consult an attorney of which he can pay, as well as court costs associated with forcing him to be a responsible parent. You can make his life a living hell. Remind him of that.
2007-01-26 21:03:39 · answer #7 · answered by ll m 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Alot can - be mean about money. Its still best to get along as best as you can for the kids sake. By all means tho, not at your expense! I would try to talk to him and if it fails, take him to court. Things are always best if they can be worked out thru communication first. Best of luck to you and do what you think best.
2007-01-26 21:03:01 · answer #8 · answered by ? 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
If it is in the settlement, I would call him on it. That is his daughter, and she needs the therapy. And if he doesn't comply, because the house is more important, Go to the D.A. behind his back, make sure you bring the settlement papers, and tell him whats going on. He will make sure that everything is taken care of. At least that is how it works in Texas.
2007-01-26 21:02:40 · answer #9 · answered by Bevin M 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
As a mother that just got a divorce two days ago and I don't ask for support becouse my kids get ssi form there dad but if they need any thing he dont have it so i know what it like so. yes take him back to court. your daughter need him to help and he help get them here.so i say go for it. do it for your kids.
2007-01-26 21:10:18 · answer #10 · answered by ? 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋